WHAT I DO: I main ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ EVERYTHING. You need a pocket? I'm your Heavy, dispensing sandwiches and communist lead at 10,000 RPM. Need a sentry nest gone? I'm your Demoman, a drunken, cyclopian nightmare with a grenade launcher. Pyro? MMPH MPPH HUDDA HUDDAH, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Soldier? I shoot rockets at my own feet because I fear nothing, especially not self-harm.

I HAVE 15,000+ HOURS IN TEAM FORTRESS 2. Let that number sink in. I was there. I saw the massed flies update. I remember when the Horseless Headless Horsemann was just a myth we told to scare the F2P noobs. I have more hours in TF2 than you have in your entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ life. Don't @ me.

MY OTHER HOBBIES INCLUDE:

AIRSOFT. I treat my backyard like it's the damn Siege of Stalingrad. My mom keeps taking my pellets away but I HAVE MY WAYS. YOU HEAR ME, MOM?! I HAVE MY WAYS!
BEING SUPER RACIST. AT VIDEO GAMES. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dominate races in Mario Kart. I am a menace on the track. I blue-shell grandmothers without a shred of remorse. Try me.
YELLING. PRIMARILY ABOUT HOW ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ INSANE I AM. Doctors say I have a "severe caffeine toxicity" and "a concerning God complex." I call it a competitive edge.

[Favorite Game: Team Fortress 2 (DUH! Any other game is for NOOBS!)] [Group: TECHNO SOLDIER'S ELITE GAMING SQUAD (INVITE ONLY, YOU PATHETIC PLEBS!)] [Links: (A broken link to an ancient, barely visible YouTube channel with 3 subscribers, showing a grainy video titled "AIRSOFT BATTLEFIELD - MY BACKYARD 2012 EPIC!")]