Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

Shame the youth don't know what true thirst is and I mean real thirst. Like, the kind of thirst the silk trader feels as he stumbles to an oasis in the desert or the kind of thirst only the gods can quench as the farmer prays in his shriveled field. These kids these days will never know what it's like to finally hit water as they dig their well. But now they confuse thirst with lust. HOW DARE THEY. For water is holy.

Ok, I'll bite- a guy once pissed in my ass after ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ me. I couldn't tell he was doing it really, he didn't ask, just told me he was going to. but after he pulled out and I went to clean up, I felt full, like I had diarrhea or something, and it was really relieving to push out, like a good ♥♥♥♥.

Also he was really high on something, and it caused me to become really high on that thing as well. Whatever it was in his piss was easily absorbed by my colon.

The phrase “it’s just a game” is such a weak mindset. You are ok with what happened, losing, imperfection of a craft. When you stop getting angry after losing, you’ve lost twice. There’s always something to learn, and always room for improvement, never settle.

Minecraft, but he's torturing my ♥♥♥♥ and balls. In this video, I have to beat Minecraft while my friend is torturing my ♥♥♥♥ and balls. He has a humbler, a stretcher and can actively kick them at any time he wishes. Can I beat the Ender Dragon before my testicles are ruptured? Watch to find out.

I'm such a stupid, horny little sissy.
I need a real man with a real ♥♥♥♥ to teach me how to behave.

After all, if I don't learn how to behave, I'll never get my cummies.

My dad makes fun of me for being 20 while still being into video games, watching people play video games and still being a virgin.He routinely asks me if I've finally lost my virginity or found a girlfriend each time I come home. He emasculates me in front of my friends by saying stupid ♥♥♥♥ like "At least you guys get ♥♥♥♥♥, right?" and "Maybe you guys can set him up with some girls!" He blames democrats and "nerds" like me for the sissification of America and the West in general. I tried to explain to him how competitive e-sports were while I was watching evo and he asks "Aren't you a little too old for Nintendo?" This ♥♥♥♥ gets so ♥♥♥♥ing annoying and it's actually having an impact on my mental health. He actually started calling me "Virgy" in public and around other people instead of referring to me by my real name. ♥♥♥♥ him. I'm not the one in the wrong, right?

You cheesy ♥♥♥♥er. I was preparing my arguments against you, but instead of the world-class politician debate I was expecting, I got this. It surprised me so much that the humongous football shaped turd that I couldn't get out of my ♥♥♥ (am on toilet btw) just ♥♥♥♥ing violently popped out like a cork from a bottle of champagne. Thanks to you, I could launder the turd and mash it into the screen just to emphasize how great of a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ this is.

Imagine being so pathetic that you actually think you'll get to smash someone over the internet by anonymously watching their streams and never physically interacting with them, vicariously living your dream life through emotional dissonance and logical ignorance, only to have the illusions of happiness and potential come tumbling down as their focal point announces that "they do, in fact, have a partner," rendering your entire willing facade shattered and incoherent, and you, a trash fire of self loathing, broken dreams, and sexual frustration. Imagine that.

You know what? I'm tired of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Yeah I know, it feels good to nut and everything, but I can't get past the fact that I'm still actively killing millions of my potential offspring. I know you might say "they'll die by themselves anyway" but I still want to give them those few moments so that they can enjoy their short life inside my ballsack.

AITA for breaking a window?

A little background: I just finished serving 25 years in the military, and earned two Medals of Honor.

The other day I (36M) was walking home from the homeless shelter I volunteer at when I came across a burning building. I looked through a window and saw two kittens (2M, 3F) and a baby (1F). Instinctively I broke open the window, jumped into the building and rescued them. Looking back though, I think it might have been an invasion of privacy and destruction of someone else's property.

Am I the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥?

I'm a dude and I can take a string of anal beads up my ass like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ champ.
My wife and I experimented with a finger up there once when we were in college and she was still just my girlfriend and I knew immediately it wasn't for me. Then we got anal beads and used them on her and she liked it so one day when she was gone I hopped in the shower with them and gave it a shot.
Fellas, get yourself some anal beads. There's nothing quite like shooting a hot load of babies down someone's throat while she rips on that cord like she's trying to start a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lawn mower.