1. |
Making It Worse
02:01
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i’m in austin texas with our newest batch of best friends having the time of my life
i’m talking too much and making it worse
i’m probably losing something at this venue tonight
i’m always rushing to leave and leaving things behind
i’m loading out at the last minute tonight and making it worse!
i’m in the van being a crybaby about something i don’t remember and
i’m not saying anything
i’m handling the first bad 5 minutes i’ve had in the last 96 hours like my dad went and died again
i’m being snippy with my bandmates for absolutely no good reason, they didn’t do anything wrong!
i’m trying to untie myself like a knot
i’m pulling too hard and making it worse
i’m self-mythologizing in the front
i’m self flagellating in the back
i’m self important at the shows
i’m at self check-out at kroger
fucking the thing up over and over
praying for forgiveness
from the poor lady who keeps coming over to fix it
i’m cracking jokes and making it worse!
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2. |
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he’s gonna die in that recliner
and i kinda think he wants to
not anytime soon, mind you
i just think he’s just thought it through
but first, a life well lived
or just one spent metagaming
what he wants people to say after he’s dead
"have you ever seen a luckier guy
convince himself he'd have a miserable time
in a room full of people he loved
that love him back?"
trying to be someone else sounds so abstract and cliché
‘til you catch yourself trying to be someone else
between smartest guy to ever live and dipshit dirtbag narcissist
i always feel like one, but i never get to pick
so can you really blame me for trying?
i can blame me for anything! watch me!
sorry i’ve been acting like a shithead tonight
by the way, no worries if not, but does anyone know why?
i’ve got this funny feeling i’m overdue
for some sort of grand humbling soon
i mean, i’m not superstitious
but statistically, maybe, i’m just saying
does anybody know what it means
if most of my most vivid memories
involve me doing or saying something embarrassing?
the rest are just replays of us hangin’
cuts scenes of every conversation
mostly just me saying sorry and thanks
and forgetting people’s names
oh god they must think i’m an asshole
i wonder if they know how right they are
i’ve got this funny feeling i’m overdue
for some sort of grand humbling soon
but it’s easier to act like there’s nothing i can do
than to think before i try to speak to you
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3. |
Raptured Trax, pt. 4
02:48
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the marty jannetty of summerbruise blew his final spot tonight
his friends got sick of the references and his eating them alive
can’t tell tell his hobbies from his habits or his goddamn days from nights
but thinks he’s in a place to give unsolicited advice
used to be so down on me
was always kind of a bummer
but all this therapy gave me the self esteem
to turn into a total fucking punisher
you keep saying they won’t like you
what makes you so sure they’ll care?
i think you’re just self involved
and selling like you’re self aware
made my brain chemistry my entire personality
i hope it makes me funny
‘cause i sure hate being dumb
if you’re laughing, that’s the real me
if i’m annoying you, it’s my ADHD
i’m full on OCD!
so please be nice to me
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4. |
Meet Hell Halfway
01:31
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watching the cat
trying to tell if he can tell
what they’re saying on tv
when it looks just like he’s intently listening
or he’s just facing that direction
cause he knows i love pretendin’
i wasn’t technically alone while spending
my 20’s neglecting texts and watching wrestling
’cause if he knows what they’re saying
that must means he knows what i’m saying
when i tell him what i’m thinking and
he seems perfectly indifferent
which must mean that i’m not crazy
cause he’d tell me if i were crazy
assuming he understands me, which he must
why else would he like to watch tv so much?
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5. |
Never Bothered
02:52
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"Never Bothered" lyrics:
it’s said you die a second time
the last time someone says your name
but that’s the third, cause the second time’s
when your next of kin throws the last of your shit away
you said “it’s all in the rules of three”
i said “i don’t know which one you mean”
you said “dying and laughing can often be used interchangeably”
when something’s not your fault but you still coulda stopped it
does that mean not your fault just means you didn’t cause it?
‘cause then it’s not his fault too
looks like we’re off the hook dudes!
but wait if not him or me or you..
i said “something’s not adding up actually”
he said “you won’t find what you’re after mathematically”
you said “best i can do for you is better him than me”
you saw a dog in a hot car
you cursed the sun
you walked away
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6. |
VAN feat. Carpool
02:46
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another notification
but my mind’s on an indefinite vacation
i tried replacing ‘sorry’ with ‘thanks for your patience’
but started saying nothing at all
it’s happening again you’re hiding out again
avoiding all your friends
but you’re not thinking about them
a tale as old as time
now it’s time to run and hide
doesn’t matter rain or shine
my ass is set to stay inside
got a really long list of
really small reasons i don’t really wanna die
and wouldn’t you know? it says right here:
“half the folks we’ve assembled here tonight”
hey man, look! a room full of your so-called friends
you said you couldn’t wait to see, but wait
you’ve been outside with the door guy all night smoking weed
(not even sharing your weed!)
it’s happening again
you’re hiding out again
avoiding all your friends
but you’re not thinking about them
a tale as old as time
now it’s time to run and hide
doesn’t matter rain or shine
i’m spending half the gig outside
sober me up, i think i’ve had too much
the bartender gave me one last one then cut me off
barflies are casting judgement, ridicule sets in
mike, sorry i missed your wedding cousin
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7. |
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wish i could sleep through these
the lonesome loading screens
between the only two things that i need
the good parts don’t get old
but the drive home’s getting longer
your stack of postcards getting taller
back and forth between the back
and where we’re gonna play
i’m sayin’ hi to everyone
they’re tellin’ me say hi to kate
we still gotta leave
‘cause nothing beats the shows
but telling you about them
is the part that i look forward to the most
fill you in on all my mess ups
and receptions to the jokes
who ALL was there i think that you would maybe know
i’m going back and forth between
the back and where we’re gonna play
i’m sayin’ hi to everyone
they’re tellin’ me say hi to kate
and i love it when i say so
and you just say ‘okay’
even a hi back over the phone
is something you won’t fake
the ones you save the real ones for
they make up quite the list
smallest circle that i know
and everyone you know wants in
‘cause your presence is magnetic
you attract then you resist
we all want to know you better
but you like the way it is
and it makes me feel so selfish
i’m the only one who gets
the little glimpses that i get
and i love every little glimpse
every goofy little glimpse
back and forth between
the back and where we’re gonna play
i’m sayin’ hi to everyone
they’re tellin’ me say hi to kate
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8. |
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i got no discipline
unless by discipline you mean punishment
i'm always kickin’ my own ass over something i said
or if something i said wasn’t quite what i meant
i got no common sense
i’m only book smart if the books about wrestling
i’m only hungry if i don’t take my medicine
but i’m only lucid when i’ve taken my medicine
(not if i’ve had too much of my medicine)
i got no diligence
if i did i could resist a cheeky cigarette
but i keep tormenting myself it’s what i do best
that and getting myself hurt in the literal sense
i got no fuckin’ friends
it’s just co-workers, loved ones, and acquaintances
and i’ll be dipped if i can keep track of which is which
least i keep it consistent when i treat ‘em all like shit
just spent eight bucks i’ve barely got
on a beer i didn’t want
god damn i hate fake fucks
especially meee
here i sit with all this shit i can’t unstick from me
and i can’t stick with anything
i can’t finish anything
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9. |
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fifth grader with a straight face singin’ andrew tate’s praise
calling kids females
i help him open up his milk, let him tell me how my ilk is the reason that
the world’s going to shit
parents trying to keep alive leave him to his own devices
‘staying in at night’ used to mean a good thing
but he’s not staying out of trouble, he’s in his little bubble
learning all the fastest ways to ruin everything
he doesn’t know how bad he’s gonna hurt you
he doesn’t recognize all the ways he’s learning to
he doesn’t know anything and we tell him he doesn’t
he doesn’t know how bad he’s gonna hurt you
he doesn’t recognize al the ways he’s learning to
he doesn’t know anything but they’re telling him something
the present freaks me out enough
but the future makes me shudder
one fresh hell after another
maybe someday that’ll stop
or he’ll grow up to be a cop
drive like a dick
eat like a slob
and he’ll think he’s doing fine
cause it’s all that he was taught
he doesn’t know how bad he’s gonna hurt you
he doesn’t recognize all the ways he’s learning to
he doesn’t know anything and we tell him he doesn’t
he doesn’t know how bad he’s gonna hurt you
he doesn’t recognize al the ways he’s learning to
he doesn’t know anything but they’re telling him something
as long as he’s got his and he’s got food to feed his kids
and stays out of what he’s been conditioned to call
‘other people’s business’
what you eat won’t make him shit
your suffering, that’s not on him
cause all that he was taught
is all he ever did
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10. |
Bottle Episode
03:12
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we’re stuck in something stuck between a costly hobby and a lofty dream
a looping sunk cost fallacy, can’t quit til we’re ahead
it just takes a little luck and a lot of elbow grease
so i guess we’re just banking on getting really, really, really lucky
‘cause if i know you like i think i do, and i do because you’re me
i know sustained and focused effort has never really been your thing
hey you're not me! you're just the you that talks to me in the second person
like we don’t know who you mean when you sing these songs and say these things
pretending it’s not you who needs to hear, ‘cause if it’s not you it’s me
what makes you so sure of that? let me jog your memory
you’re the one who fucked our whole plan up
for a daydream you had when you were eight years old
bedroom door locked, tiny little shirt off
playin’ air guitar to “brain stew” on the godzilla cd that you just got
thinking “what if something this much fuckin’ fun was a real job?”
thinking “what if something this much fuckin’ fun was a real job?’
and that’s what we both wanted!
yeah well, one of us grew up
if this is all as great as you say it is
shouldn’t more of it be fun?
i’m not sure what you’re trying to prove, or who you’re trying to prove it to
you’re not bound to what your parents thought would be the best for you
then who? ‘cause it kinda sounds like
you think i should stay the course a third grader thought through the farthest
that kid wasn’t the smartest, but you must have you blocked that out
well, let an eight year old make all your choices
let me know how that plays out
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11. |
Sad Gimmick
02:53
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not uncomfortable, feeling weird
it’s not anxiety, it’s a perfectly rational fear
that you’re lyin’ to everyone here
cause anybody that just comes to the shows
wouldn't like the mike that only kate and kenny know
god knows you sure fuckin’ don't
these little moods can ruin anything i do
how lucky then that any little thing can ruin my mood
i never knew i had this short a fuse
but apparently i do
so if i’ve been ignoring you
just know i don’t mean to
and know i know that it isn’t an excuse
but change is hard, that’s why i don’t
besides—i can’t
at least i think i can’t, so i won’t
when you let every little thing
ruin every little thing
you deserve it
when you let every little thing
ruin every little thing
it’s all your fault you deserve it
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12. |
Was The Grink There?
02:40
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this tour won’t kill you, so stop acting like it will
you’re crying over milk you haven’t even had a chance to spill
you’ll ruin your own day right out of the gate
anything's a killswitch for your chill
if you’re fine, then fucking act like it
‘cause you’re bringing down the vibe
if you’re not, then fucking say something
‘cause we can’t read your mind
i’m sorry man its just hard for me
to keep track of all these little things
that fuck your mood up constantly
if nothing has, then something will
you gotta learn some self soothing skills
‘til then, everything’s a killswitch for your chill
if you’re fine, then fucking act like it
‘cause you’re bringing down the vibe
if you’re not, then fucking say something
‘cause we can’t read your mind
walk in the room
scatter eggshells all around you
if we don’t know how to talk to you
then we don’t want to talk to you
with this only life you’ll ever get
i wonder what percent you’ve spent
looking for shit you’ve lost
or throwing your little fits
if it’s fine, then fucking act like it
‘cause you’re bringing down the vibe
if you’re not, then fucking say something
‘cause we can’t read your mind
you haven’t said a word in fifteen exits
and we don’t what inanimate object made you so mad
why are you so mad?
between the shit you’re always tripping over,
running into, dropping, breaking, misplacing
forgetting’s in the fridge and wasting, or
wandering away from at random gas stations
and all the ways in which
you let that dumb shit stick to you
ruin all sorts of shit for you
you make me sick you really do
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