We really need to come up with horrendous misunderstandings of men’s anatomy to put in fiction books and refuse to stop until there are no more sentient boobs
suggestions:
“His penis poked up curiously, like a puppy seeing a tennis ball.”
“His penis lunged against the restraint of his pelvis like a poorly socialized puppy that had just seen a young child to knock over, but was held back by its leash.”
“His balls sagged with embarrassment.”
“His balls clung desperately to each other like lovers parting for the last time.”
“When he came inside, his beard was limp with dejection.”
“His mustache flared with rage.”
“He was thirty-two, but still held onto a hint of the virile man he must have been in high school, his slim and disappointingly muscled body carried with a hint of pungent masculinity, like a tantalizing taste of the scent of motor oil.”
“He was a shy and reserved kind of guy. She had been around guys like him before—the sort that were aware of their soft jawline and modestly sized cock, but were not quite confident enough to realize that a decent ass could make up for that if you had an interesting enough personality.”
“Bruce. Tall, ruggedly chiseled Bruce, his sawdust skin tinted with the shade of medium-rare steak, his granite body just making up for the fact that his legs were just a bit too thin to really look good in those khaki shorts. Bruce was the kind of man who wore his polo shirts unbuttoned, but didn’t seem to notice when he drew the attention of every woman with eyes in the area.”
“His chest, she thought, was the chest of a virgin…just a few thin snarls of hair, matching his beard which, though struggling, framed a rather attractive pair of lips.”
when I was like 14 I used to reblog these posts on here that were like “YOUR 20S ARE NOT AN IMAGINARY RACE YOURE DOING JUST FINE!!” just to be positive towards my older mutuals even though i didn’t really get what they were abour and I’d be in the tags like “#so true!! #everyone does things at their own pace!!” and now im 24 I’m thinking back to it and it’s like Oh of course the imaginary race. Which I’m losing
Looking at what national news outlets are up to right now, one might not realize a whole major US metropolitan area is, you know, sort of under attack by paramilitary forces. Wild.
im sorry the What is being What now???
While it’s not going unreported entirely, what’s been happening in Minnesota and in Minneapolis–Saint Paul in particular since Renee Good was murdered is not getting the attention it should be.
There are already 2000 gangsters from DHS deployed, and “hundreds” or “1000” more are on the way, depending on which Trumpland person you ask. As a point of reference, the Twin Cities’ actual police total just under 1200 (600 in Minneapolis and 590 in Saint Paul according to the depts’ sites).
The feds there are more or less attacking people at random. They’ve gone door-to-door for “citizenship checks” (completely illegal). They’ve knocked doors down when residents haven’t complied (obviously also completely illegal). In addition to abducting and brutalizing the immigrants they come across during their rampages, they’ve done the same to US citizens of color and are also harassing, stalking and physically attacking observers.
Below are some videos from observers. I’m linking to Bluesky because that’s where I saw them, though many are originally from/also available elsewhere. I apologize for the rancid formatting below but it was the best I could do quickly-ish. The images are previews; click the links in the timestamps to watch.
Dumb Meg (@dmbmeg.bsky.social) Jan 11, 2026 at 6:10 PM(You need to be logged in to see this—while it’s unclear what happened to the victim in this one, there’s no reported death so far; CW for heightened violence)
Dom Ervolina (@dominicervolina.com) Jan 11, 2026 at 8:42 PM(You need to be logged in to see this)
was waiting on an emergency plumber, decided to smoke by my car instead of stare at my fucked up kitchen. he pulled up next to me, leaned out the window and goes “i’m assuming you’re the client” like yeah buddy, read that one right
honorary best friend, mike the plumber, has saved the day. “don’t worry, i’ve got pvc couplings you’ve probably never even seen before.” brother, i wasn’t aware that was something i could worry about
i dont want 22 episode seasons back. i dont want 8 episode seasons. i dont actually want a prescriptive number of episodes per season
its the era of streaming. we dont need to fil x number of timeslots.
i want tv shows to be able to determine for themselves what their optimal number of episodes per season to tell the story they want at the pace they want. maybe thats a 3 episode season. maybe thats a 50 episode season. i dont care, i just want the decision to be made for practical and artistic reasons rather than corporate ones
