I don't wanna @ anyone because I understand how fast things seem to move in today's landscape of streaming shows dropping entire seasons in one day, and networks pumping out new series constantly to try to attract more subscribers with no intent to actually maintain those shows over time
but I just saw someone self-deprecatingly lament that they are still thinking about a show that ended almost a year ago, making fan art and playlists for it, and I want to be very clear:
you can still create fanworks when it comes to old media!! PLEASE do!! there are always going to be new fans who will appreciate it, and veteran fans who are dying for new content and new perspectives.
also, less than a year is NOTHING. the original Star Trek series was on TV six decades ago and there are still people losing their minds over it, writing stories and reblogging gifsets daily, and that's only one example.
a fandom lasts as long as there are people who love a thing, even if it's only a handful of people. love what you love and write and draw and make gifs and playlists about it!
Being put on a pedestal where you are Absolutely Nothing Like Men (violent and perverted subhumans) because you are a woman instead is not just still sexism it is just the logical conclusion of the most basic traditional sexism we all grew up with.
Just treat women as human beings instead of as just opposites of men (complimentary).
Also I am 100% a pervert and proud of it and I don't think it's any better or worse when I do it than when a man does it.
I have said it before but I'd find it uncomfortable and suspicious to be in any kind of group (cis or trans) that did gender segregation because it'd be drawing a line that to me feels completely arbitrary and clearly fake.
Like they expect markedly different behavior from women than they do from men but I know damn well that I am an adult with agency and the capacity to harm others. I'm not even interested in fitting the "feminine" box.
Anything a man can do I can also do, and vice versa.
We really need more people to be familiar with the term "benevolent sexism." Or at least the concept of it.
So many people are buying into it and calling it feminism. It's just misogyny wearing a different hat, similar to how "model minority" racism is still racism.
So many people think of women as being inherently nurturing, emotionally intelligent, kind, prone to assuming the best about people, caring, and full of divine feminine mystique. So many people frame all of this as a good thing because, after all, aren't those positive traits? Isn't being caring and emotionally intelligent a good thing?
And it's not that those traits are bad. They're not. They're positive traits, which disguises why this is a problem.
Because all of those are traits associated with being a mother, a caretaker for others, and excluded from traditionally "male" spheres.
It's not that motherhood or being a caretaker are bad things, but misogyny operates under the assumption that women are inherently more suited to these things (and only these things) because their place is in the domestic sphere - taking care of their man, bearing and raising his children, being the unpaid and unacknowledged emotional support for the whole family, without anyone to do the same for them, etc. The idea that women have some sort of divine secret is also connected to misogyny; men get to be the intellectual, intelligent, logical ones, while women are more suited to less logical ideas, "magic" or manipulation rather than physical capability, seduction, and mothering.
So while it's true that women can have any or all of those traits, men can have them, too, and just as men can be brave, strong, independent, bold, intelligent, good at leading, logical, etc., women can be those things, too, just as easily, because women are fully fledged people and not just the ones who cook and clean so their husbands and sons can live full lives, run the world, and pursue other endeavors.
The idea that women can't do smart things ("girl math"), be independent ("I'm just a girl"), or are simply too naive and vulnerable (e.g. the idea that women must be protected because they're all easily fooled and taken advantage of by men with ill intentions) goes hand in hand with the idea that they're only suited to be mothers, caretakers, and submissive to the men in their lives who protect them and make the big decisions because women can't take care of themselves or think logically enough to make their own choices.
And these ideas are EVERYWHERE right now. I thought we'd gotten past that mindset. I thought that most people were aware that women can do anything men can do just as well, and that men don't need to be babied and have someone else handle the laundry, cooking, and unpaid therapy. Evidently, we've regressed several decades in the past five years or so.
Men and women just aren't that different, fundamentally, and it serves no one but misogynists (and abusive people who want to escape accountability) to insist that women simply inherently have traits that make them far more suited to the roles misogyny has relegated them to, even if, on the surface, those traits seem positive. Men can be emotionally intelligent, nurturing caretakers, and women can be logical, intelligent, and bold, just as men can be irrational, moody, and manipulative and women can be emotionally stunted, selfish, and violent. Gender stereotypes are tools of the patriarchy that are taught, not innate or inherent based on gender, and they never have been and never will be universally applicable to ANY gender.
cold as fuck out is anyone else experiencing this? [remembers i should be inclusive to my southern hemisphere followers currently experiencing spring-summer weather] hot as fuck out is anyone else experiencing this?
first day in the time loop it is not a loop yet. i go about my day and its a pretty good day and when i make my evening cup of tea i wish all days were like this
second day in the time loop and in the moment before waking i have a dream about something i have to do tomorrow. i do not realise i will never get to do it.
fourth day in the time loop i realise i am mouthing along to my lecturer even though i do not know anything about the sampling of early electronic music.
sixth day in the time loop my friend says hello to me and i say 'yes i know'. she looks at me funny and i apologise. she starts telling me about her girlfriend and i simply do not care. i feel mean for not caring. when i get home i accidentally walk into a doorframe which does not improve my mood. i realise i already have a bruise on my elbow.
seventh day in the time loop i realise there has been a cloud shaped like a weasel outside my bedroom window for the last week. i think 'what are the chances of that' and then i realise the chances are very very low.
eighth day in the time loop i skip everything i had planned to sit by the river and read. i know all about the sampling of early electronic music now and if i have to listen to the radio play summertime or my friend talk about her girlfriend and her stupid cat one more time i am going to scream.
ninth day in the time loop the irony of hearing summertime every day becomes apparent. i am trapped in an endless summer day. i remember the saying about not being able to stand in the same river twice so i make a point of standing in the same river for half an hour on the off chance i'm doing it at the same time as i dipped my feet in yesterday just so i could be the exception.
tenth day in the time loop it is very obvious that no one else know they are in a loop. i wonder if the whole world is looped and i'm just the only one who knows it or if i'm the only one who is looped and the world is seeing endless double exposures of me. i wonder which loop is the real one.
twelfth day in the time loop i start to think about video games. playing the same level over and over and over again. you die on the same point of the level every time but you re appear the start to have another go. i wonder what part of the day i am stuck on. which obstacle i have to beat to get to move on to tomorrow.
thirteenth day in the time loop i am remembering everything now. i do not think i did at the start but i can definitely remember what i had for breakfast yesterday morning because that was today. my friend calls me in the middle of the night asking why i wasn't at the lecture. i start telling her that i've already been to that lecture six times when it hits midnight and the loop resets.
fourteenth day in the time loop i drive as far away as possible to see if i still wake up in my bed when the loop resets. i get a cheese and pickle sandwich from a gas station but it sucks so i leave without paying. i do buy a packet of gum though. just not the sandwich. i wonder how food works in a time loop and suppose food consumed gets um-consumed. the radio stills play summertime and as i drive i think about the inherent time loop of a song. the exact same four and a half minutes over and over and over again. i wonder if we have a god complex about our favourite songs. i wonder if i am getting to wound up in the themes of the time loop and if there is an easier way to solve this than getting philosophical. it is a long car ride and i have a lot of time to think. but still only twenty four hours.
fifteenth day in the time loop i get up early wash my hair and sit outside on the porch. a woman walks past with her dog. they were not there on the fourteen day and i think this is a good sign.
sixteenth day in the time loop i open my diary and see that i have been writing on the same page over and over and over. i turn the page and write 'today is tomorrow' in big letters.
on the seventeenth day i the loop breaks. i still don't know what i did. i don't think it was the diary page because that reset but the world didn't. or i didn't. or something. i go to the scheduled lecture and i'm so relieved its not about early electronic samples i get lost in the lecturer's voice and forget to take notes. i order a piece of lemon cake from the cafe because they didn't have it yesterday but they do today. i hang out with my friend and she tells me about some endearing silly thing her girlfriend did and i laugh. it's a nice day. i find myself thinking 'i wish more days were like this' but i don't think i do, actually.
do you ever think about how if you dive into the ocean and go deeper and deeper you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light, and if you go up into the sky and go higher and higher you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light
[Image description: A color image in portrait orientation. The background transitions smoothly from a starfield on black at the top, through dark blue, medium blue, lighter blue, then back to medium, dark, and another starfield at the bottom. In the very center is a black silhouette of a human figure, appearing to float on its back as on the surface of water. Above it in the blue "sky" area are a curved, thin white line like the contrail of a jet aircraft, and two small black silhouettes of seabirds. Below in the deep dark blue, just before the starfield, are some silhouettes of fish. /end description]
fuck my gay life. pharmacist asked for my ID when I was picking up my testosterone and instead of my driver’s license, I accidentally grabbed the fool tarot card I keep behind it in my phone case and went to hand that to her
This is gonna be an unpopular opinion but I think more allosexuals need to get okay with dating asexuals. Coming from someone who's two and a half years and going strong w someone ace they are genuinely the light of my life.
Originally you may think that no sex is a sacrifice but for me it proved to be the opposite, I got the chance to have a relationship with no pressure on intimacy and how fast or lack thereof we were going. I got the chance to really sit down and get to know someone on a deep emotional connection level.
In a society that's so focused on sex but so hostile towards friends with benefits I think it's so important to recognise if you really want to get to know someone for them as a person or if you want their body. It's so good to look inside yourself.
Okay, let's break this down. For context, these are my tags:
ALT
Their tags in response:
ALT
Wow, there's a lot to unpack here! I think it's firstly important to note that we are on the same side. We are both allos with ace partners that we really care about. We both want to combat acephobia.
I'm literally going to scream. I was originally going to just block you but I'm thinking about this reply and the fact you've called me rude so much if I don't say Something I'm going to be mad at myself forever I fear.
This post isn't about you and your partner having sex. At all. This is about specifically sex REPULSED asexuals. If you wanted a post that also talks about aces that are sex favourable or sex neutral make your own post because this wasn't about it. Not saying they don't exist, but this post wasn't about them!!!! You don't need to mention them!!! It isn't about you and your partner!!! I don't know how many times I need to say this!!! .
Also, you're getting mad at me for taking your argument in bad faith but you didn't give me any context to NOT do that? From my perspective you gave a short answer that included "agreed but not all aces don't have sex" on a post that was specifically about sex repulsed aces, how am I not meant to take that as "some guy's trying to justify the ideology that some aces are 'normal'"
If you really cared about proving your point you could of politely corrected me, not started "discourse" as you tagged it, I even literally said I wasn't going on offensive. I just wanted to make you understand my pov.
Edit: if you wanted to inform me that my original post sounded like I was being acephobic towards sex positive/neutral asexuals there was a much better way to do that. I had 2 kind people in my replies inform me that because I didn't make that clarification in my original post it came off that way, so I apologised and edited the original post. You didn't say that though, you used the same wording that acephobes use with the whole "btw not all aces don't have sex but ok" when they want to justify sexual attraction to them ect ect.
I owe you an apology. This has blown way out of control and it is my fault for not using tone indicators. /gen /nm
I am not mad at you. I thought that I was politely correcting you and giving you some context, though I see now how my words could be interpreted differently.
I also did not consider the implications of tagging this as 'discourse’, which was another mistake on my part. I am sorry. I was using the word as it was originally intended to be used, i.e., “an orderly and usually extended expression of thought on a subject; an expression of ideas”. I tagged it like this because I know a lot of aces are sick of their identities being discussed all the time, and I wanted to give them the chance to avoid it. Though that was my intention, it clearly was not the result. /gen
I did not mean to insert myself and my relationship into a discussion not meant for me. I did not realise that this post was specifically talking about sex-repulsed asexual people.
I was excited to see another allo talking about ace/allo relationships, because I’ve never met another couple like me and my partner. I’m sorry that I let this excitement derail the original post.
I’m sorry for calling you rude. I was trying to communicate how your tone was coming across, even though I assumed that was not your intention. This was poorly done on my part because I did not consider how my tone was coming across. I will endeavour to do better in the future.
Regarding your edit, I was not trying to call your original post acephobic in any way. I thought I was being helpful and adding to the conversation by sharing an oversight. I was wrong.
I’m also sorry for using they/them pronouns for you when a quick bio check would have told me that your pronouns are he/him. /gen
I wish you and your partner all the best. I will leave you and your account alone now.
This is gonna be an unpopular opinion but I think more allosexuals need to get okay with dating asexuals. Coming from someone who's two and a half years and going strong w someone ace they are genuinely the light of my life.
Originally you may think that no sex is a sacrifice but for me it proved to be the opposite, I got the chance to have a relationship with no pressure on intimacy and how fast or lack thereof we were going. I got the chance to really sit down and get to know someone on a deep emotional connection level.
In a society that's so focused on sex but so hostile towards friends with benefits I think it's so important to recognise if you really want to get to know someone for them as a person or if you want their body. It's so good to look inside yourself.
Okay, let’s break this down. For context, these are my tags:
ALT
Their tags in response:
ALT
Wow, there’s a lot to unpack here! I think it’s firstly important to note that we are on the same side. We are both allos with ace partners that we really care about. We both want to combat acephobia.
ALT
ALT
ALT
ALT