amy: …sticks.
sticks: yes, ma’am!
amy: you don’t have to call me ma’am
sticks: yes, sir!
amy: …you know what, close enough; do you know why i’m talking to you right now?
sticks: nope!
amy: really? so there’s no way i just saw you lovingly staring at a tide pod just now?
sticks: doesn’t sound like something i’d do!
amy: and when i knocked, you didn’t just down the whole thing in one gulp, and audibly swallow, yeah?
sticks: you mean the thing you, trip, belle, and many others have told me not to do several times? of course not!
amy: and i’m meant to ignore the how to eat a tidepod youtube tutorial open on my laptop?
sticks, shutting the laptop: i think it’s best we all ignore that
amy: right… so let me get this straight. you, sticks the badger, expect me, amy rose, to believe that you, sticks the badger, in no reality, would swallow a tide pod?
sticks: you betcha!
amy: and why wouldn’t you?
sticks: because i wouldn’t just swallow it!
amy: do tell, what would you do?
sticks: if i had one in my mouth, i would wanna savor the blueberry and orange filling!
amy:
amy: so you DIDN’T eat it
sticks, coughing: no
amy: you would never
sticks, coughing increasing: no
amy: you DON’T need an ambulance right now
sticks, turning pale: any reason why i would?
amy: well, for one thing, tide pods are lethally toxic; so much so that i don’t think even you could handle it
sticks:
sticks: that doesn’t sound like something that’d be on a youtube tutorial
amy: mhm
sticks: wouldn’t be blueberry and orange flavored, either
amy: i agree
sticks: a-amy?
amy: yes, sticks, sweetie?
sticks: on a completely unrelated note, c-could you call that ambulance?
amy, while sirens play outside her house: oh, i called them moments before we had this conversation
sticks, as she falls to the ground: thank youuuuu…