Chay wakes up every morning, alone in his big, quiet house, and thinks about all the ways his last conversation with Porsche should have gone.

In his mind, every new line he tries sounds more convincing than the last. Pa and Mae wouldn’t care about the house. They would want us to stay together. They would want you to be happy, too.

If you’re not happy, I’m not happy. Don’t you want me to be happy, Hia?

If you’re going to destroy yourself, I’ll destroy myself too. I’ll quit school. I’ll get a job. You can’t stop me, just like I can’t ever stop you—

Chay is not stupid. He knows it could never have gone that way. There are things that Chay cannot bear to say — lines that he will never cross — because to do so would break Porsche’s heart.

But he thinks about it. He thinks about the staggering bravery it would take to say, your dreams for me are not my own. Ask me what I want. Listen to my answer.

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#kpanniversary2024 episode 5 + prompt 5: regret