1. |
Seem OK
01:41
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I thought the pain would go away
Turns out the pain is here to stay
I thought that I would be alright
but I can’t sleep at night
I’ve got these voices in my head
They make me wish that I was dead
I try my best to drown them out
but they are just too loud
and they’re all I think about
So I cry and I hide myself away
I lock myself inside my room to face the bad parts of my brain
And I will try to get out of bed today
If I can somehow find the strength
to fake a smile long enough to seem ok
I’m not ok.
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2. |
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The things that used to make me happy they don’t work no more
So I'm staying out till 4am and passing out on the floor
Waking up regretting everything I did the night before
Went to a shrink she said “I think you medicate too much”
Man, I should probably find a better way to deal with this stuff
but alcohol’s the only friend i’ve got when life gets tough
Man I miss the days when we were younger
and we didn’t have to care so much
Nowadays everything’s a bummer
I feel like giving up
I wish I could stop myself from thinking
Find some quiet in the loud
Me and all my friends we're always drinking
It helps us feel better for now
I can’t sit still, my life is built around a constant flux
How come it feels like everything I do is never enough?
To pass the time away
I cut up lines with razor blades
and drink till I can’t feel my fucking face
Man I miss the days when we were younger
and we didn’t have to care so much
Nowadays everything’s a bummer
I feel like giving up
I wish I could stop myself from thinking
Find some quiet in the loud
Me and all my friends we're always drinking
It helps us feel better for now
Hey come out and sit by the fire
Tell me ‘bout your hopes and desires
All the nights that you spent believing
One day it’d be you that’d be leaving
Crying on the bathroom floor
Can’t take this shit anymore
Life just isn’t what you thought it’d be
Hey come out and sit by the fire
Tell me ‘bout your hopes and desires
All the nights that you spent believing
One day it’d be you they’d believe in
Crying on the bathroom floor
Can’t take this shit anymore
Life just isn’t what you thought it’d be
Man I miss the days when we were younger
we didn’t have to give a fuck
Nowadays everything’s a bummer
I feel like giving up
I wish I could stop myself from thinking
Find some quiet in the loud
Me and all my friends are always drinking
It helps us feel better for now
I miss the way that it was before
I miss the way that it was
I miss the way that it was before
The things that used to make me happy they don't work no more
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3. |
On & On
04:04
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There's a man in a lab coat peddling pills
The pills that kill the pain inside
There’s a folded up note in my dresser drawer
A backup plan. A last goodbye
When the smoke settles the picture becomes clear
All the nights spent wishing I would disappear
I was wasting all my time
Trying to find a finish line
but life goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on
on and on
Wash the day off of my skin
Wake up and do it all again
If you could be anyone who would it be?
When you look in the mirror do you hate what you see?
(like me)
When i end my life I bet you’ll act surprised
When we were never more than passing ships at night
Life’s an itch that can’t be scratched
It’s the monkey on my back
and it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on
On and on
On and on
On and on
Crushing discomfort in my life I’m under
Pressure can’t take it i don’t think ill make it out
Swallow chemicals to sleep
it’s not how its supposed to be
(8 billion people in the world and still I feel completely alone)
Human complexities
the intricacies of intimacy
(How can I receive love from someone else when I fucking hate myself)
Watch the sun melt to stars
Stay out getting fucked up at shitty bars
Hell bent on another bender
cause at the bottom of a glass there's no memory
When the smoke settled the picture became clear
There was never any reason I was here
It’s a bird, no it’s a plane
It’s a constant guessing game
It’s just never-ending pain
and it goes on and on and on and on and on.
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4. |
Your Great Escape
02:42
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I’ve been this way for all of my life
Kinda lazy, sorta crazy with a slight overbite
Lately baby i’ve been waiting impatiently for a dopamine spike…
You say you’re sick of always running away
But you insist on jumping ship when we start taking on waves
I don’t wanna be another one left stranded
on this desolate, malevolent, lonely fucking island you’ve made
Hey, where you gonna go
When all the places that you’ve been you have already called home?
Yeah, what are you gonna do
When all the reasons that you’re leaving here are bound to come looking for you?
Well ok…
Yeah here we go again
As you resuscitate
A futile argument
An opportunity
To fucking ruin me
You pouring salt into my wounds is nothing new to me
You’re the reason to believe I don’t mean anything
A ruined chance to take a stance against this pain you bring
And when you make your great escape this time I won’t forget to cut the strings
Hey, where you gonna go
When all the places that you’ve been you have already called home?
Yeah, what are you gonna do
When all the reasons that you’re leaving here are bound to come looking for you?
So swim with sharks
When things get hard
Or learn to stay
The choice to dive
Is yours not mine
An easy out
Your great escape
Hey, where you gonna go
When all the places that you’ve been you have already called home?
Yeah, what are you gonna do
When all the reasons that you’re leaving here are bound to come looking for you?
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5. |
When You Say My Name
03:59
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In like a winter storm she came
I think about her every day
While I peel the paint off of the walls
Of all the promises she made
The one to stay’s the one that breaks
And only memories remain
Like ticking bombs
When you say my name
I can feel you in my blood
You’re like poison in my veins
When you say my name
Does it make you feel alive
To know you’ll always be here stuck inside my brain?
You’re stuck in my brian
Stuck in my brain
A half hearted apology
A self fulfilling prophecy
I climb the ladder just to fall
I take these drugs to fix my brain
But they’re not fixing anything
The pain it stays, it never fades
I feel it all
When you say my name I can feel you in my blood
You're like poison in my veins
You make me sick
You fuck me up
When you think of me does it burn you up inside?
Does it make you feel alive
To know you’ll always be the reason I’m not ok?
I’m not ok
I still feel you like a ghost around this place
I’m not sure who's to blame
Does it keep you up at night?
Does your body shake?
When you say my name
When you say my name
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6. |
Hope in the Haze
03:27
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I woke up on the wrong side
Of the dead again
Should I kill myself in self defense?
It started as a joyride
Then the accident
Yeah I’m barely scraping by at best
I just wish that I was less of a mess
Time lends itself to wounds that never heal
They just fester as we grow
Wear my depression like a boutonniere
A bouquet of sorrow
I’m trying to find some kind of reason to keep living in this world
Hope in the haze
Im hanging on for happier days
Hope in the haze
I’m just trying to get my head on straight
Can anybody hear me?
Is anybody there?
Am I speaking clearly?
Does anybody even care?
Time lends itself to wounds that never heal
They just fester as we grow
Collect resentments like they're souvenirs
Let them eat away my soul
I’m trying to find some kind of meaning in the madness of it all
Hope in the haze
I’m hanging on for happier days
Hope in the haze
I’m just trying to get my head on straight
Hope in the haze
Yeah I’m hanging on for happier days
Hope in the haze
I’m just trying to get my head on straight
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7. |
Records and Regrets
03:50
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Another wasted night
The televisions casting light
from an empty room
Misplaced my cigarettes
The whiskeys gone
And I regret leaving so soon
If these walls
Could talk they would probably say
That they cannot stand one more day
Watching me drown in this mess that I've made
But I put another record on the stereo
Surrender to my feelings and I lose control
All this time i’ve wasted I got nothing to show
But we’re all gonna fall in the end
Another wasted night
Spent trying hard not to cry
At the thought of you
I’m replaying my regrets
There on repeat in my head
But what else is new?
If these walls
Could talk they would honestly say
That they’d rather collapse than bear the weight
Of watching me drown in this mess that i’ve made
But I put another record on the stereo
Surrender to my feelings and I lose control
All this time i’ve wasted I got nothing to show
But we’re all gonna fall in the end
I rue the thought of every time I ever walked away
And I rue the fact that you had never asked if I could stay
But I put another record on the stereo
Surrender to my feelings and I lose control
All this time i’ve wasted I got nothing to show
But we’re all gonna fall in the end
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8. |
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Midnight and miserable
I’m stuck inside my head
All too familiar with this feeling
Get lost in the fog of all this existential dread
Lay awake till day breaks and later I can do it all again
Life is a waiting room in the office of death
We await our names and look to the ceiling
For answers to questions we can’t understand
Like what happens to us and to all of our friends in the end?
I’ve never really felt like I ever had a place that I fit in
Don’t gotta tell you that I never sleep at night
Don’t gotta tell you that I never felt quite alright (are you alright?)
Knowing everyone I love is gonna die (are you alright?)
And you’re someone I love
Every now and then I get caught up in the tide
and get lost for a while in the depths of my mind
There’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
We’re all just sitting ducks at the mercy of time
And it won’t be long
Might even happen by the end of this song
One day you’re here and then someday you’re gone
Where you going?
Don’t gotta tell you that I never sleep at night
Don’t gotta tell you that I never felt quite alright
Knowing everyone I love is gonna die
Everyone I love is gonna die.
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9. |
Fade Away...
01:38
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How much longer will this take?
Before I start to fade away
I have never been ok
I have never been ok.
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10. |
Mountains // Molehills
06:38
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I still haven’t slept in days
I’m not okay, I feel deranged
I lackadaisically decay beneath the smile i'm faking
And I don’t care if you don’t care
Or dare to carefully prepare
For all the shit you can’t predict
The futures fixed anyway
In my head
I’m with you still
Making mountains out of molehills
I miss you
But it’s for the best
At least I tell myself that
Now my heart is all fucked up
I made the choice to fall in love
A choice so dumb and full of convoluted consequences
And i’m just trying to catch my breath
I’m hyperventilating again
And I can’t see the future with the past in front of me
Cause in my head
I’m with you still
And we’re laughing like we used to
I miss you
But it’s for the best
What a goddamn joke
I’m a goddamn mess
I can see that river in my dreams
The one that took our rings
and left us in the dark
That was the beginning of the end
The end is all that's left
But the past is never far
It’s a pain I can’t erase
Where do I call home without you?
Your heart is where my heart stays
I can’t believe we threw it all away
I can’t move on, I care too much
But you’ve already given up
and left behind a pain I can’t erase
Where do I call home without you? (i can see that river in my dreams)
Your heart is where my heart stays (the one that ate our rings)
I can’t believe we threw it all away (and left us in the dark)
(THIS IS NOT THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE)
I can’t move on, I care too much (that was the beginning of the end)
I feel your skin in new skin I touch (there was no magic left)
You left behind a pain I can’t erase (we were barely hanging on)
(THIS IS NOT THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE)
Where do I call home without you? (with fingers bare, the tether had been frayed)
Your heart is where my heart stays (i felt you slip away)
I can’t believe we threw it all away (but you didn't get too far)
(THIS IS NOT THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE)
I can’t move on, I care too much (i need you like the ocean needs the moon)
But you’ve already given up (like a flower needs to bloom)
and left behind a pain I can’t erase (like a fire needs a spark)
(THIS IS NOT THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE)
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