(scrolling my dash) trite. trite. trite. contrived. foppish. shameful. oh, a disgusting embellishment from one of my decrepit mutuals. to be cordial i will re-blogge it. JEFFREY! (a butler-type creature who is as tall as my knee and incredibly ghoulish skitters into the room from a crack in the wall) be a dear and block this fool for me would you? (jeffrey pulls out a rusted dagger from behind its back and licks it) thank you. begone. (jeffrey scuttles out of the door and into the road where it is immediately struck by a semi truck at 80 mph)
You see a medical-looking neat little spray bottle on the table. The label says “wound spray”. I tell you not to touch that. For some reason you spray some on yourself anyway and scream as a horrible smell fills the room and the chemical reaction of some unknown substance burns your skin right off. You scream and ask what the hell was that.
It’s a wound spray, obviously. You spray some on your skin on the desired area, to instantly create a wound.
if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising “organic blood” sourced from “willing donors” who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.
The group chat officially deemed me an “eccentric” just because I’m doing an Argonian ichthyologist play-through of Skyrim rn where my character is writing a thesis on Cyrodilic Spadetails and I shared the character’s hypothetical research folder that I created to help with my immersion in the role.
Like sorry I take the RP in RPG seriously but how else would I get into the headspace of a character who is only slaying dragons to sell their bones and fund research that will hopefully be published in the Tamriel Journal of Limnetic Science??
