I had this truly awful lady I worked with many years ago. She was rude, callous, and generally pretty unpleasant. She was exceptionally homophobic to my face. She told me incredibly upsetting stories about animal abuse.
But even with all that negative karma I don’t think anyone deserves to have their boyfriend literally die on them while having sex.
Which is what happened to her.
He orgasmed and apparently that ruptured a blood vessel somewhere important can’t remember if it was brain but I think so and he died with his dick still inside her which I’m pretty sure is the kind of thing that should guarantee you free therapy for the rest of your life.
But the craziest part was that she performed CPR and actually managed to restart his bodily function which is absolutely mind boggling. Can you imagine going from mid coitus to life saving procedure? The presence of mind she must have had. It’s bonkers.
Ultimately, he didn’t live. While she’d gotten his body going his brain never resumed function and he passed a few hours later.
But because she’d kept his heart beating he was at the hospital when he died and he was an organ donor. They were able to harvest his organs under ideal conditions. Even though she didn’t save him she did save three or four other people by resuscitating him.
i couldn’t decide on one reaction image but uh
DO YOU THINK I’M JUST GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH BEING FUNNIER THAN ME?! Right in front of my salad?!?!?
At the dawn of humanity, one tribe of cave-people survives the many trials of prehistoric life under the wise leadership of Jemilla, The Peacemaker. Jemilla taught her people to express themselves, rather than bashing each others’ heads with rocks and eating each others’ babies. But one member of the tribe doesn’t seem to fit in: Zazzalil. She’s always trying to invent things to make life easier… for herself. While out hatching her latest scheme, Zazzalil stumbles upon the most important discovery in history. One that will pit her tribe against wooly mammoths, saber-toothed tigers, and change the world forever. She’ll travel from omega to alpha, and become… the Firebringer!
Realizing that squid have an ink sac and an internal shell called a pen so we’re living just a few short evolutionary steps away from calamarigraphy and honestly there goes the rest of today
since the yearly “certain medications can cause heat intolerance” PSAs are out in full force, let us fondly remember last year when I was at Pennsic (big ass medieval recreation event) and our group was tearing down our giant tent lodge we use for our kitchen and dining hall. and there’s a part at the very end where the roof is sort of on the ground, but still tented on a pole in the middle. and someone has to go under there to unhook the roof from the pole. but it’s hot as fuck in that part since it’s been baking in the sun for two weeks, so it’s called “Satan’s asshole”. which resulted in somebody VERY solemnly telling me, “going into Satan’s asshole is NOT a job for somebody on SSRIs”
Robot characters who are given names like SL-308-62 but instead of their human friend going Well let’s call you Sally for short, they instead ask the other if they Like their current name.
“Do you like your serial number?” they ask. “Yes, quite. It reminds me of who I am” the robot replies. “I have heard others like me go by different names after some time, and maybe one day I’ll choose one for myself, too. But right now that is my full name, yes” they continue.
Because it’s not your decision to make whether or not the robot will receive a new name. It should be theirs only. What’s the difference? One is more complex and the other is simplified. They were both given by strangers instead of themselves.
“62 will do,” they conclude. “It’s my model number - there will be no other 62 after me.”
Robots who instead start assigning numbers to their human friends
“Not that I mind,” I tell SL-308-62 one afternoon as we enjoy our shared lunch break (I have my packed lunch, and 62 has connected themself to their portable power bank) “but why do your call me ‘four’?”
The LEDs along 62’s appendages twinkle- a tell that they’re mulling over an answer.
“It’s a nickname,” they explain, “you are my fourth acquaintance aboard the station, and I’ve assigned you a serial number. Your full designation is F-001-04.”
“What does the ‘F’ stand for?” I ask, curious and charmed.
“Friend,” SL-308-62 says, their tone fond. “It stands for friend.”
