Everything she couldn’t say to him.

Pining, SFW. High School Crush.

Asahi Azumane / You

Two years ago, I saw a boy.

A boy with fire filled orbs. Loud, wide and soaked in honey, that no matter how tight he’d shut them, he couldnt hide how he’d decided when it was daytime.

It wasn’t like burning houses or viscous lava. He wasn’t volcano eruptions or natural disasters. No.

His gaze didn’t hurt me.

Instead, it trapped me.

Trapped me in sunshine stares and a hot chocolate dream. I’d been sitting at a campfire roasting marshmallows with his attention. That was the kind of eyes he had. I didn’t understand why back then, but I felt really lost when he looked away. Like I’d needed his light to find my way to somewhere I didn’t even know I was going.

It was weird.

I’d felt rude after. For scrutinizing him so harshly. Especially when he’d looked away with a deep blush, head bowed like he was ashamed to be so amazing.

He was tall, and rough around the edges, and covered in a mountain of sweat like he’d carried the heavens everywhere he went.

And he was pretty.

I’d noted his uniform then too. He’d went to the same school as me. Was a first year like me too, despite how monstrously tall he was. Despite how ruggedly handsome he was. After that evening, I’d rushed home. Buried myself in books and studies and pretended like I hadn’t scanned a boy like he was a piece of clothing in a thrift shop.

I’d forgotten about him until the day after, where I’d spotted him on my way past the bathroom. Then the cafeteria, and the library, and the vending machine.

It was like suddenly, I couldn’t stop seeing him. He was everywhere, and everything, and I’d decided that I’d either witness his beauty or not live at all.

Three weeks from then and I’d started calling it a crush. Because I couldn’t deny my ruby red cheeks to my closest friends every time he’d passed anymore.

It was ridiculous.

I was ridiculous.

I’d had a crush on a boy I’d never spoken to, and probably would never speak to ever, ever, ever.

And I still do.

I still blush whenever I see him, still walk home the long way just so I can spot him. Still stare deep into the sun hoping I can catch a glimpse of him in it.

That’s right.

Everyday, I wake up and there you are, hanging brightly above me.

There’s a place for you in the sky. I swear on it. And if I haven’t made it obvious, I really really like you. I’m not sure if I can give any better reason than these simple, silly words I have here. That’s why I hope you don’t see this. That’s why I hope writing this will help me get over these silly feelings.

And that’s why even if I’m a stranger in your eyes, I hope you’ll glance my way just one more time.

Sincerely,

Your Secret Admirer.

(P.S. I’m not a stalker!

I pinky promise!)