Let me go, gravity (Posts tagged endertheposts)

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

What is it about me that people can’t say no to me until after the fact. I’m all about enthusiastic consent and fucking BEG them to tell me what the want so I don’t just do what /I/ want. And then they tell me no you’re good dont worry about it so much. And then the next day I get a text “yeah I was kind of uncomfortable I don’t feel like you respected me…” HELP ME OUT HERE. I know this is an issue that I have and I’ve been working on it for a long time but it doesn’t feel like anybody wants to cooperate with me. It makes me feel like everyone I’m intimate with is playcating me. I spend so much time internalizing that maybe means no and not doing anything I don’t get a go ahead for and asking what they want and listening not just to the answer but HOW they answer, and I do my very best to not make my autism an excuse for accidentally assaulting a girl.. and for what?? At a point I just have to believe that I’m the problem, that my issue can’t be solved no matter how hard I try, that I’m a danger to other people, and that I should stay away at all costs. I don’t want to think that because I like to think that I always try to be better than I was yesterday.. but how have I not made ANY progress in the 10 years since this has become a known issue??

endertheposts