i only want them to have sex because it actively harms them both

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

THERE'S TWENTY ONE THIS TIME???

No it's not that I don't appreciate the flirting, I just wish you wouldn't do it while I'm in the middle of vivisecting you. Yes I know that it's really hot when I'm covered in your blood elbow deep in your chest cavity that's why I keep vivisecting you. But I keep getting flustered and dropping your liver and its really slippery so I keep dropping it over and over again leading to very comedic slapstick comedy where I slip on your blood and fall over really funny

posts that are significantly funnier with timestamps. what the fuck was i doing on christmas posting this

Favorite mutual didn't like my post. Deleting it and then killing myself.

Choosing “New Game” in Dragon Age: Inquisition

You know, it’s important to have tragic blorbos sometimes because hey, maybe you had a bad day, maybe your job sucks so fucking much. But do you know who had a worse day? Blorbo bleebus, who’s doomed by the narrative

...hey

If Justice has Kristoff's memories then he speaks Orlesian. That means that whether he is aware of this or not, Anders speaks Orlesian. His moment will present itself.

@mc-sprinkles and @villainanders you get it

kinda want to lick him from ballsack to bicep but I'm sure I'm being really cool about it