1. |
hermit
03:01
|
|||
|
i've become
accustomed
to silence
isolation
my comfort
my descent
i long to be alone
to be unknown
but i need you to notice me
need you to acknowledge me
i need to mean something
anything, anything
...anything
.
.
.
but i need you...
but i need you...
but i need you...
i long to be alone
but i need you to notice me
i long to be unknown
but i need you to acknowledge me
i need you to notice me
i need you to acknowledge me
i need....
i need to mean something
|
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2. |
lighthouse
03:20
|
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|
it's time to soliloquize
while i seek out
the lighthouse
the beacon
that highlights reason
the magnet
that collects my fragments
and injects them
with a sense of direction
i just wanna know
what it's like
to have clear sight
to have clear sight
.
.
.
how can it be?
the light that fights through darkest nights
stays invisible to me
how can i see
that which along my way illuminates
with caution and clarity?
how can i find myself
under clouds
and fog that dwells?
how can i find myself?
how can i find myself?
|
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3. |
in between
03:33
|
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4. |
chemically
03:03
|
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|
disordered chemically
start to sputter, stutter,
nutty like the butter
lost my marbles during delivery
down in flames
right as rain
head in the clouds
.
.
.
cold glass, hot water
run for cover
cold, glass hot water
cold glass, hot water
run for cover
run for cover
run.
.
.
.
(disorder) (sputter stutter nutty like the butter) (disorder) (etc)
.
.
.
it's so disorderly
travel at light speeds
north, left, underground
but never right
never right as rain
always down in flames
straight into volcanic ice
.
.
.
cold glass, hot water
run for cover
cold, glass hot water
cold glass, hot water
run for cover
run for cover
run.
.
.
.
(disorder) (sputter stutter nutty like the butter) (disorder) (etc)
disordered chemically
constant cycles mentally
just have to eat my greens
'cause that'll fix me
if i just eat my greens
disordered chemically
disordered chemically
disordered chemically
|
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5. |
one bird, two stones
03:54
|
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|
the way my body aches
the way it writhes in pain
from the moment that i wake,
i beg to be sedated
do i deserve
a fate like this?
the way a smile fades
when subconscious landscapes
quickly deteriorate
heavy wind and heavier rain
do i deserve
a weight like this?
.
.
.
one bird, two stones
futile attempts to stay afloat
to fly while they're being thrown
cry out 'cause there's no control
two stones, broken wings
one bird who can only sing
jaded and eternally fatigued
gloomy, helpless, incomplete
.
.
.
who am i to complain?
i get to spend entire days
trapped inside my cage
in my bed and in my head
the perfect place
for demons to play
is inside the space i waste
.
.
.
one bird, two stones
one bird, two stones
one bird, two stones
one bird, two stones
|
||||
6. |
||||
|
(you should be ashamed, you should be ashamed)
(you should be ashamed, you should be ashamed)
i'm doing my best
(you should be ashamed, you should be ashamed)
why can't you see?
(you should be ashamed)
(you should be ashamed, you should be ashamed)
i'm doing my best
(you should be ashamed)
why can't you see
(you should be ashamed)
i'm trying?
(you should be ashamed)
.
.
.
an apple
without a core
color fades faster
than that of the orange
the worms, they burrow
as purpose wanes
i'll make sure the mold is thorough
as it helps me to disintegrate
.
.
.
an orange and its coat
that innate boundary
allows for it within its home
to be segmented perfectly
then there's the apple,
bruised skin and all
gets torn apart in carnage
because that's just what is natural
.
.
.
but when they fall,
it's not on common ground
the orange laughs out loud
while the apple weeps
why can't you see
how hard i'm trying?
why can't you see
i'm trying?
|
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7. |
still trying...
01:31
|
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8. |
bitter
02:14
|
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|
i'm so tired
of feeling bitter
and i'm so over
facing quotidian jitters
but i'm not gonna smile
if solely for the misters
and i'll keep getting higher
'cause dad didn't raise a quitter
(didn't raise a quitter)
(a quitter)
(a quitter)
exasperation
over the brows that furrow
about unseen ambitions
they're picking at the wrong bones
and i hoped if they listened
they'd understand the syndromes
and yet it's damnation
for playing the perceived wrong note
escapism brings me home
and what's real is unknown
in the dusks of sorrow
i'm so over it
i'm so over it
i'm so over it
i'm so over it
i'm so over it
i'm so over it
i'm so over it
i'm so over it
|
||||
9. |
again
03:20
|
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|
woke up defeated again
another lack of suspense
caught underneath the mud
and i can't outswim hungry bugs
when all that's left is scraps
i've always been outmatched
by those who know how to detach
and compartmentalize
i can't count how many flies
circle the rotting fruit
vultures, they follow suit
and rip to shreds my lifeless thoughts
.
.
.
another night spent lost
in caverns with abundant
twists and
drops
into a trust fall
in which i can't catch myself at all
go to bed defeated again
|
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10. |
plagued
02:38
|
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|
why,
no matter the time of day,
am i
always fucking plagued
by
the feeling that i'm inadequate?
sigh
'cause any confidence gets dismissed
what
is even the point of reframing
the
festering unvoiced that i'm facing?
(it's festering and festering)
'cause
nothing that i say seems to matter
when lost
in unwanted subconscious patterns
when
ever i feel any kind of way,
it extends to a lack of self esteem and self blame
(so much self blame)
restlessness and fatigue
mean i'm intrinsically not good enough
it's been
so difficult to learn self love
to learn self love
to learn self love
to learn self love
to learn self love
|
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wolflaneur Atlanta, Georgia
i'm like if a fairy and a ghost had a baby
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