Joel's Reviews > We3

This review* is about kitties. Let's start it off with a gratuitous and only slightly relevant picture:



*now with 100% more lolcats!

Do you remember that cute Disney movie The Incredible Journey, in which a trio of animal friends (a cat and two dogs) is accidentally left behind by their owner and must travel across the wilderness in order to find their way home?

We3 is just like that, except there is a rabbit instead of one of the dogs and instead of experiencing amusing and only slightly harrowing adventures along the way (haha the dog tried to smell a porcupine and hilarity ensured! oh no the cat fell into the river!), they blow up a train, down several military helicopters and brutally maim and kill dozens of soldiers. I should probably also mention that the animals are encased in metallic body armor bristling with advanced weaponry, and are the product of a government experiment to breed super-assassins gone awry. That is probably key information to have going in.

There's this rule in movies that no matter how many people you kill, the dog never gets it, because chances are good that the audience's sympathies lie with the dog, probably because people are so annoying. That's why there's that scene in Independence Day where the dog leaps free of a giant fireball and runs to safety, and the music is all triumphant even though there are presumably thousands of humans being burned alive by said fireball even as the dog's owners bathe his doggy head in kisses ("Oh dog thank goodness you are safe! Where is our neighbor Ms. Davis? Cooked alive by aliens? Oh well.") Likewise, this comic book knows where my sympathies lie: with the cat. Who can shoot blades from his claws with bullet force and decapitate you with a lazy bat of his paw, not to mention chew through a herd of mind-controlled killer rats and poke out the eyes of a baboon-sized mutant bulldog.





So obviously this is a very violent book, but though the drawings are graphic they are also ludicrously over-the-top, so it's kind of funny, though the shot of the guy's fingernail split through by a cat claw missile did nauseate me a tad. But I was also touched: the ending is enough to put a lump in the throat of any pet owner. It's like My Dog Skip, if only there was a scene where Skip bit Frankie Muniz in half with his terrible metallic jaws, and then a ferocious cat beast dropped onto his still-twitching corpse from out of the sky and popped his eyeballs like jelly-filled balloons.

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If only.