Mikee (ReadWithMikee)'s Reviews > A Monster Calls

❝Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary. And your mind will punish you for believing both.❞

Thank you Goodreads for graciously sending me a signed copy of A Monster Calls!

I'm not crying because this book is sad. I'm crying because this book is my story. It's my family's story. It's my mom's story. A Monster Calls was a difficult book to read. I've seen many readers say they've cried because of the words written on these pages. But I've lived this book.

My mother died of breast cancer two years ago at the age of 44. I lived the day when the doctors told my mom that she had breast cancer. I lived the day when I'd spend my 19th birthday visiting her on her hospital bed in the ICU while she was in a coma. I lived the day when I would see her take her last breath. I lived the day I let her go even if it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Two years later, I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. I don't cry everyday anymore if that counts as getting easier. I'm not sure why I'm even saying all this, but I guess reading this book has made me feel a bit vulnerable at the moment. It's made me confront all kinds of emotions I've been trying to avoid since the day my mother passed.

Although I was reading this book through Connor's eyes, it was like reliving the tough year my family had to endure together while my mom fought the battle of her life. I've felt every emotion that Connor experienced. I hated being pitied. I was angry. At myself. At the world. At God. And when his mother spoke, it was my mother speaking to me through her words. A Monster Calls was a painful book. There were times when I even had to put this book down to compose myself. But reading it felt a lot like... closure. It reminded me that it was okay to be angry. It was okay to hurt, to be scared. It was okay to let go.

A Monster Calls wasn't a book that I would typically read, but I'm glad I did. I was putting it off for a while because I was trying to avoid the feelings that it would conjure up but it's a tale I know that many people would love. It was a tough ride down memory lane but my mom's battle with cancer was not always bad. Sure, there were bad days and even worse days. But it brought us together as a family. I was closer to my mom in the 11 months she battled cancer than I did those 19 years of my life. Reading this book brought back a lot of painful feelings but it gave me a chance to, somehow in some way, say goodbye to her once again.

03.27.1970 - 07.25.2014 <3