Optimist ♰King's Wench♰'s Reviews > Lie With Me

I recently saw Ellen Page on The Late Show give an impassioned plea to end the hate against the queer community. I was moved by her words and while reading this novella I kept thinking about them. How long has hatred left its indelible mark and perhaps changed the course of so many lives senselessly? Philippe Besson and Thomas Andrieu can be counted amongst that collateral damage. There was no hate crime or bullying per se but both were victims of a more persistent kind of hatred that relegated them to a clandestine relationship: intolerance.

Philippe and Thomas should've been afforded the same privileges as their heterosexual counterparts without impunity. They should've been allowed the freedom to love and be loved without the need for courage or bravery to do so and Lie With Me is the story of how bigotry stymied that freedom and fear of reprisal stole their innocence.

It seems crazy to not be able to show our happiness. Such an impoverished word. Others have this right, and they exercise it freely. Sharing their happiness makes them even more happy, makes them expand with joy. But we're left stunted, compromised, by the burden of having to always lie and censor ourselves. This passion that can't be talked about, that has to be concealed, gives way to the terrible question: if it isn't talked about, how can one know that it really exists?

Lie With Me is poignant memoir that tells the story of Philippe's first love of a beautiful boy with a tragic soul. Told from memory in three parts, making it difficult to avoid the inclusion of later events and making the specifics of dialogue hazy, thus giving the reader a bit non-linear retelling but an emotive one nonetheless. The first part takes place in 1984 when they are seniors and comprises the bulk of the story. The second part takes place in 2007 when during an interview Philippe sees a boy outside a hotel that's the spitting image of Thomas, a boy who turns out to be his son, and the events of 2016 conclude the story.



Philippe is inquisitive, precocious and gobsmacked when Thomas approaches him. Thomas is popular but quiet and solemn, resigned to a life he knows will never bring him happiness. At 17 he's already incorporated secrecy and deception as his norm and at 18 those habits will forever taint them both. During their time together they do seemingly snatch a few moments of bliss and Besson captured the intensity of his feelings for Thomas as well as the optimism and folly of youth. I truly felt not only his physical desire for him but his steadfast belief that they would find a way to carve out a future together, despite evidence to the contrary.

I'm not sure what I expected from this book but I absolutely did not expect a memoir. That tangible connection tethered me to the reality of the oppressive prejudice that has been globally devastating to so many for far too long. Prejudice robbed these two boys of a life together, a life they deserved and left in its place a life lived inauthentically for one and the other struggling to give his heart to another after having it broken by his first love.



Besson's prose is lyrical, evocative and exceedingly French, in that it encapsulates the essence of experiencing life through the prism of an artistic eye. What fascinates me about this perspective is the uncanny ability to both see and experience life with gusto while also believing it's all going to end disastrously, or at the very least disappointingly. That dichotomous worldview is, in part, what made Lie With Me not only touching but memorable.

Those who have not taken this step, who have not come to terms with themselves, are not necessarily frightened, that are perhaps helpless, disoriented, lost as one is in the middle of a forest that's too dark or dense or vast.

Even though Lie With Me has a melancholy overtone that will probably only appeal to a niche market, I was beguiled by Besson's eloquence and I hope more of his works are translated into English, especially if this is representative of his work. If you are someone who can appreciate that not all romances end happily, give his words a chance to weave their magic.



An ARC was provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.