Victoria's Reviews > Unfortunately Yours

I used to get excited to read Tessa Bailey. Now I just feel dread.

Okay that might be dramatic as hell but I implore you to read these quotes and tell me I’m not wrong..

- “You’ve got a bunch of black shit on your eyes.” — august says this to Natalie when she’s wearing eyeliner.. like okay Tessa we get it you like women who don’t wear makeup.

- “Look, might as well warn you, I’m going to get hard.” August says this when Natalie falls into his lap.. is he going through puberty like how can he not control that???

- “Just so we’re clear, Natalie, I wouldn’t have any problem fending off some city boy in loafers.” Please tell me that my vaginal walls did not flex in response to that. literally what ?????

- “Natalie? What are you . . .” If he was a cartoon dog, his tongue would have rolled out of his mouth. “Are those your tits?” again… literally what???? Tessa’s obsession with *tits* is so fucking weird as an adult woman.

- “I’m not good at arguing while my dick is in eggplant form. truly is this man ok

- “Your tits look insane.” And then 30 pages later “Have I told you lately that your tits are insane?” 1. He said this at their WEDDING. 2. do I need to say more about this

- His hips were moving in a battering rhythm, cock harder than a fucking mallet, I wish I was making this shit up

- My dick is like the end of a hockey stick right now. like this man might actually need to see a doctor.

- “Crossed the motherfucking country for this tight wife pussy.” please for the love of god make it end.


Like has Tessa always been this fucking cringe or am I just done with her as an author? I truly will not be picking up a book by her bc her last like 4 books have been complete DUDS. Like Tessa, at what point do you just stop churning out books every 2 months and actually sit down and write a good one?