Nat ཐི༏ཋྀ's Reviews > Lie With Me

Lie With Me by Philippe Besson explores the complexities of life—the love, desire, lust, fear and the internal conflict of being homosexual in a time when such love was deemed socially unacceptable.

I read this book without knowing much of it—except it follows two gay teenage boys. While I was reading this, I kept wondering if this is an autobiography or fiction, turns out it's a blend of the two; and it wasn't until the end that I realized the protagonist never mentioned his name once in this narrative. I don't really know why, but I guess it's the revelation at the end that makes this story all the more devastating.

I don’t know what else to say about this book besides the fact that it broke my heart time and time again. At its core, the story follows the protagonist and his love interest, Thomas Andrieu. The two boys share little in common; aside from the fact that they are both gay, they are complete opposites. Thomas lives on a farm, and as the only son in his family, he is tethered to a future over which he has no agency. He is entrusted to take over the farm one day, to continue his father's career. On the other hand, the protagonist is a boy of books. Though his family does not come from extreme wealth, they are fortunate in their own way. His father is emotionally distant and reserved, rooted in working-class values. Growing up under this influence, the protagonist excels academically, achieving the best grades in every class. As a result, his future appears predetermined: he is expected to one day work abroad, and laborious work is seen as unfitting for a man like him.

The protagonist’s sexuality—though he never explicitly stated to anyone—is often guessed at and shamed by his schoolmates. Yet he does not let this stop him from embracing his true self, a truth he has known since childhood. Thomas, meanwhile, is deeply trapped in internalized homophobia, fearful that his sexuality will tarnish his reputation as a quiet but popular schoolboy—and undermine his social standing. Unlike the protagonist, he struggles to accept himself.

"I discover for the first time—poor idiot—this stabbing pain of love."

Lie With Me—a beautifully aching story—is a blend of regret, love, and the painful, aching realization that many of life’s desires often go unfulfilled. Altogether, these threads weave a story that is poignantly emotional—showing that amidst the tenderness of love and desire, the discreet meetings and quiet goodbyes, comes a wave of loss, longing and the bittersweet ache of what could have been.

“I just wanted to write to tell you that I have been happy during these months together, that I have never been so happy, and that I already know I will never be so happy again.”

On top of that, the prose in this narrative is one of stark simplicity. It is straightforward and unadorned, yet carries a weight of intense emotion. Its simplicity does not undermine how thoughtfully each sentence is shaped, nor how it seems to leave a lasting impression on the reader’s mind.

Ultimately, Lie With Me is a hauntingly beautiful tale of love and regret. It devastates even as it illuminates, lingering long after the last page is turned. My hope is that no soul will ever endure what Thomas does—bound by fear, silence, and shame—but instead will find the courage to embrace, fully and without apology, the truth of who they are.

5 stars