my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

Harvesting my wheat

Hehehehehe

Can I fucking help you?

my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her

What

What

Sight is a bullshit power and I’m starting to think it isn’t even real.

I’ve been obsessed with that one post where people speculated “What if sight was really uncommon in the universe so other aliens treat humans ability to see like it’s some magical power that doesn’t work half the time for stupid reasons?”

I imagine the alien “see” with echolocation, so they don’t bump into things but their range is very limited.

The Fisherman: Ugh, you would not believe the day I had today, I was attacked by an octopus! The Fisherman's Wife: How was it..........

[Description: a TikTok video showing someone holding up a Macbook laptop with an incredulous look, with a caption reading "Alan Turing after I bring him to 2026". The person inspects the laptop, and as they do so they say "Oh my god. This is—this is incredible. Like, I just—I can't even comprehend what I'm looking at here. Like, I just never thought that like in a million years society would ever, ever be able to create something like this." They pause and look at the laptop screen, and say "And you said they're both hockey players?" /End description]

As someone who has been on the Internet longer than many of you have been alive, I cannot emphasise enough what a good idea it is to block fools, bores, and drama-starters ON SIGHT. That means, on the FIRST sight. See the take, do not wait.

You are not a court of law. You are not required to hear them out, argue, nor give them a second chance. Block them. Nothing bad will happen to them without you! It's fine! Goodbye forever! Prevention is better than cure.

My fellow aunties will be with me on this.

When I was about to go to college my dad, who is a thoracic surgeon specialized in lung cancer, sat me down and told me I could be a stoner, but absolutely not a cigarette smoker

His logic was:

@buticaaba you are absolutely correct! My dad hates vapes. He says the lungs of cig smokers look black and kind of like asphalt, and that the lungs of vape smokers retain their pink color but are covered in burn like blisters. He participated in a double lung transplant on a 20 year old vape smoker and has done multiple drainings of vape smoker lungs that filled with fluids because they’re absolutely full of blisters.

When you smoke cigs you’re clogging your lungs with tar and other nasty stuff, but when you hit a vape you’re quite literally giving your lungs chemical burns.

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

Ernie, trying to maybe come out to Kermit: well you know Kermit, me and Bert-

Bert: Bert and I

Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!

Kermit, who every goddamn night has to tell Beaker and Bunsen to keep it professional, deal with Statler and Waldorf's bullshit, AND update his organizational chart on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Polycule: that's really great to hear fellas, happy for you two! :)

This is not what we want America to be about.

No wonder the Three Kings were late! They were on the wrong subway!

wow this death note reboot looks promising

You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.

Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌

Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.

I mean this with all due respect:

I once went into the water on a nice, sunny day at a popular boating lake surrounded by boaters. It took 45 minutes to be rescued. Could you swim for that long? Could you swim for that long while shivering and stiff?

Wear a life jacket!

Okay but genuinely are we supposed to wear a life jacket every time we go swimming in natural bodies of water at all? Like. Not allowed to just swim normally unless we go to a pool?

Good question! No. I'm a freediver and a paddling instructor, so I spend a lot of time wild swimming (sans life jackets) and in boats (wearing life jackets).

Life jackets are important when:

Plenty of people boat & paddle in conditions unsafe for swimming (myself included). Cold water, strong currents, rough & windy weather, and being far from shore are all conditions that make swimming unsafe.

If anything happens and you go into the water, a life jacket will protect you in these conditions (even cold water, by allowing you to preserve body heat)

But what about when you're out in safe swimming conditions? What if you even plan to take the boat out to go swimming?

The risk is ending up in the water unintentionally.

If you're in a large or medium boat, on a paddle board, in a kayak, etc., and you end go in the water without meaning to, you've ended up in the water by means that put you at risk (capsizing, collision, sinking, fire, even just falling).

Injury, shock, etc. can prevent you from swimming, even if you're a strong swimmer. If the water is cold enough, you might experience cold water shock and a dangerous reflex called the cold water gasp. When you hit the water, you gasp automatically. The risk is inhaling a huge amount of water as soon as you go in, inducing panic, increasing the shock response, and increasing your risk of drowning.

How cold is cold water? Some people experience cold water shock symptoms in water as 'warm' as 14 degrees C (57 F). Which you'll find in plenty of popular lake and ocean swimming sites, even in the middle of summer.

The life jacket will save you if your ability to swim is compromised. It can even keep your head above water when you go in, period, keeping you warmer and preventing you from inhaling a bunch of water.

When you go swimming, you get into the water with intention, so the risk of being compromised is pretty low, unless you're adding an activity like cliff diving or something (or you're consuming substances that impair your ability to swim). So no, you don't need to wear a life jacket swimming if you know how to swim. You accept some level of inherent risk when you swim, like you do plenty of other activities.

Final note: having a life jacket near you is next to worthless. It needs to be on you and fastened. Are you going to grab and fasten your life jacket as you capsize? As you fall overboard? As you flee a boat that's on fire? Put it on and fasten it.

Merchant Hikari

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Octopath Traveler 2 ‼️❣️ 🐙 This game is so special to me..🥹 Thank you for such an amazing journey with all the travelers 🎊💖

Eight more travelers. Eight more adventures. Octopath Traveler II Fire Emblem GBA-styled Portraits.