Stitchy, How Do I Get Back into The Muppets?
Muppet memes are everywhere. They trend every time Brett Goldstein gets his hands on a microphone, or a British politician puts their foot in their mouth. Let the Muppets host the Oscars! Miss Piggy dumps Pete Davidson! Knives Out III! But, reader… it’s been a long time since you last hopped over to sip Lipton’s on Kermit’s lily pad, hasn’t it? And you kind of miss it.
Idk if you’ve heard but uuuuuhm seth rogen and sabrina carpenter are all up in mix doing a relaunch of The Muppet Show 👀
FEBRUARY 4 BE THERE OR BE
in the cambrian period the ocean was shallow and the sun never set. every day was sunday morning and there was never any dark. the world was a watery wonderland and air didnt exist yet. animals had just invented eating eachh other and it was really funny. having eyeballs was all the rage
its true ❤
what do you know ❤
the ocean was made of sprite also
theres been a lot of people on this post trying to correct basically every aspect of what ive said but nobody's confronted me on "everyday was sunday morning"
everybody agrees everyday was sunday morning
Even if the popular and oft-maligned traditional ageplay dynamics (eg diaperplay, caregiver/little, etc) don't interest you or actively turn you off, I think that understanding the degree to which ageplay dynamics underly and interact with many supposedly "non-ageplay" erotic concepts and dynamics is essential for any complete kink education.
Why is it hot to call your partner mommy? Why is it hot to have your partner control what you wear? What imagery do you allude to to depict a partner as having reduced agency by virtue of reduced knowledge or awareness? When you speak in a harsh voice to compel a response, what are you alluding to? When you work around childhood trauma or lean into that trauma, what does the potential invocation of that trauma say about how the kink dynamic is viewed? Why are age gaps hot? What does the word 'brat' imply? What does spanking allude to?
To be clear, this isn't just true of kink, but this is a kink blog and I just want to communicate this relatively simple idea.
when it comes to power exchanges, the biggest example of power imbalances any of us has to work with are from when we were kids. it's not really surprising that when we play with power and authority and submission and dominance, the main ways we express power dynamics mimics the ways we were treated as kids.
not everyone has a marginalisation or a shitty job or a disability or queerness, but everyone was a kid at some point. even folks with good parents understand the way power flows in the parental relationship.
so it's no wonder that when people want to roleplay being powerless in a relationship, they reach for roles that mimic their lack of power in childhood first.
You know technology literacy is dying because I saw this meme with 76k likes
F11 the full screen button? You’re scared of the full screen button? F10?? It opens the menu bar???
Computers are so scary what if I accidentally hit F12 in a steam game and it takes a screenshot. What if I press shift + F12 while in word and accidentally save my document 😖
If you had to learn what the F keys on your computer do through me reblogging this post, then I'm glad you did. Computer literacy is not a skill that gets taught anymore, and it is absolutely one that needs to be taught in order to be learned. Don't ever feel bad for not knowing something, but ☝️ don't ever stop learning learning about your environment, the tools you use, and especially the people around you
Never stop learning+ Never stop sharing what you learned
villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman
this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.
now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.
on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.
These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.
Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.
This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.
Brain fog is not an adequate descriptor, actually. Fog can be kinda nice and beautiful and ethereal and refreshing. The thing we’re describing is more like a brain BOG; everything moves slow like you’re wading through water, it’s clunky and heavy and you keep getting stuck in the mud. It’s uncomfortable and inconvenient and everything takes so much effort. You lost a shoe, probably.
🌾🌾🌾
Harvesting my wheat
Hehehehehe
Can I fucking help you?
my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her
What
What
‘Jesus’ comes from a shortening of the Hebrew version of the name Joshua, while ‘Christ’ simply means ‘the anointed one.’ To make this clearer to modern Christians, I propose a new Bible translation where Jesus is referred to only as “oily Josh”
Too much movement makes your joints hurt and too little movement also makes your joints hurt. This would imply that there's an optimal amount of movement that allows your joints to not hurt. This is a lie.
Dropout cast members as things to never say to someone who just came out
See: this article
Brennan Lee Mulligan
Jess Ross
Jacob Wysocki
Vic Michaelis
Mike Trapp
Rekha Shankar
Lily Du
Zac Oyama
Izzy Roland
Ally Beardsley
Ify Nwadiwe
Raph Chestang
Lou Wilson
Tao Yang
Siobhan Thompson
The thing about the moon is maybe you don’t need to write a poem about the moon. The moon’s been done, we’ve discussed it. It’s a coin a mirror an eye a lantern in the darkness. It’s a rock in space. It’s the dang moon we’ve all seen it! Is there something you can notice that’s is more surprising than the moon???
