even though its all i ever wanted

౨ৎ

As a little girl I was so angry and lonely all the time, and I didn’t understand why. I hated everything about being a little girl. And then I grew up to be an autistic nonbinary lesbian, it all made sense and I could finally be at peace.

idk why when i bring my autism up, people are like "omg dont say that about yourself!!"! like gurl its not an insult, its a fact????

tonight i was very overstimulated with work and a coworker told me to just "stop being so stressed." and i said "yeah im autistic so a lil hard to do that."

and oh my god it was like i had insulted myself, the way the coworker responded. "NOOOO DONT SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF!!!!"

and i said "???? im literally autistic, like? i am autistic. i have autism."

and she asked what that had to do with being stressed and because i was so overstimulated, all i could manage to say was "everything is too much, like way more than it would be to someone who isnt autistic."

and she went "oh so anxiety."

and i went "no. autism. its a neurological disorder that affects my brain."

and this bitch deadass went "NOOOO YOURE NOT, DONT SAY THAT, YOURE THE SMARTEST PERSON I KNOW, YOURE SO COOL!!!"

and i went "yeah and??? im still autistic. im artistic and autistic."

and she laughed and then stopped laughing and went "ohhh im sorry its not funny thats not funny at all."

and i went "???? i mean???? its not bad to be autistic????"

like. yall. its not insulting when i say im autistic. "autistic" is not an insult.

sherlolly + genderswap 💋

a thank-you pinup for a very generous supporter 💜🌾

also thanks to ppl's kindness, I'm almost halfway through the goal of replacing my retired pc 🥺

related to the previous post; i actually feel bad about this bc everyone who was so generous to donate so i can get a new computer, it ended up going to the visa process since that was a bigger priority 🥲 I'm sorry about that but i hope it's understandable

A lovely MBTI commissions I had the honor to work previously 💙 Thank you so much for commissioning me ! @orchid-tea-party🙏

I have always felt lonely. But I think it's a specific kind of loneliness.

It's a loneliness that physically hurts. A loneliness that makes it hard to breathe. A loneliness that is always whispering in the back of your head.

It's a kind of loneliness I can't escape...

Sometimes I just want to be caught by someone. Maybe for a few minutes. ……