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i draw :3

@arielluva / arielluva.tumblr.com

hi i'm sam!!! | 20 | they/any pronouns (tme) | nonbinary lesbian but aroace style

infinite recursion

“And when man is overcome again by the horror of alienation and the I fills him with anxiety, he looks up and sees a picture; and whichever he sees, it does not matter, either the empty I is stuffed full of world or it is submerged in the flood of the world, and he calms down.

But the moment will come, and it is near, when man, overcome by horror, looks up and in a flash sees both pictures at once. And he is seized by a deeper horror.”

-Martin Buber (I and Thou)

every so often i see takes from new fans of rgu who are like "i was liking this anime but idk why it has to have so much incest :/" and i bang my head against the wall

one of my biggest points of frustration with all the western cartoon makers (or any kind of lesbian western art as a whole) who cite revolutionary girl utena as an inspiration is that every "homage" or inspiration they take from the show seems to be about Cool Lesbians With Swords And Nothing Else. or at best star crossed lover girls. it's like all the darker and more genuinely challenging and unique aspects of it has to be cleanly excised. and like don't get me wrong i absolutely get why a western kids' cartoon is not gonna address any kind of sexual abuse nvm incestuous ones but it's frustrating to see newer fans want to omit these aspects of the show, or downplay its importance to the plot and themes at all as though the entire final arc wasn't about utena's grooming and anthy's suicidality as her sexually abusive brother ropes her further into the duel system and in helping grooming utena, while believing she doesn't deserve saving and resenting utena for how she refuses to understand the dynamic between them or how akio treats either of them for the longest time. like sorry the hand reaching scene at the end isn't simply touching because Yuri Wins or whatever but because even when anthy tries to push away utena one last time by stabbing her, giving in fully to her forced role of Witch and of suffering, utena straight up ignores akio and crawls to anthy to tell her that she's worthy of being loved and being saved no matter what. no matter if anthy thinks of herself or is seen as unclean and broken and monstruous both as a victim of incestuous sexual abuse and as the designated Witch who cannot be a clean woman or loved in normative ways according to the structures and rules of ohtori--anthy IS worthy of that love and of being saved. of existing outside these structures. it feels genuinely kinda sad when people think that discussing these structures at all (incestuous abuse and csa being considered the pillars of patriarchy in rgu, disguised and normalized by ideas of the nuclear family and the princess/witch archetypes) is sick or disturbing and should be left out!

" She herself is a haunted house. She does not possess herself; her ancestors sometimes come and peer out of the windows of her eyes and that is very frightening. She has the mysterious solitude of ambiguous states; she hovers in a no-man’s land between life and death, sleeping and waking" (Carter, 1979)

90% of therapy seekers give up just before they are finally able to pull out a sword from the chest of someone they love. keep taking the path that has been prepared for you

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