Devotion: profound dedication, loyalty, or love for a person, activity, or cause.

To love like a dog. To give everything and receive nothing but table scraps. To always want more.

I have had violent urges, I have never acted on them. There have been times I've been very angry and the temptation has creeped in. I say I never would, but we never know what we're capable of until the right circumstances present themselves. I understand this so I have gone to therapy, I try to stay away from material that would desensitize me to it. I work very hard to manage these impulses with help on the off chance an opportunity could present itself where my inhibitions aren't strong enough to fight it. I understand that because this urge would affect more than just myself it is a problem.

We can't help that we were born with certain proclivities. It doesn't make us inherently evil or deserving of death. What we can do is try to manage them, understanding that we can say we are in control of ourselves, but that's true all the way up to the point it isn't. If those desires could endanger others it's important we manage them. No one should be threatened with death but they should understand its their responsibility to manage these desires with more than just your own willpower.

We should make space to support people with urges or desires that could affect others, I agree.

What we should not do is make a space where we act like this isn't the case. Most never act on it, sure, but someone will. Then we have a victim who will suffer terrible damage and we can't just wait to respond to hard AFTER it has been done.

What I can't abide is likening the stigma towards these desires to being trans or gay or queer or anything like that. Yes, society says or has said all those things are "icky" at one point and time, but that doesn't mean they're equal. Being trans or gay or queer is something that affects only you and can not harm someone else by living as who you are, these urges can.

To clarify this is related to the discourse going around about so many people discussing pedophilia and the fallout from ISFF and her supporters. I am attempting to speak calmly and with empathy and not jump to violent, knee-jerk reactions.

I'm very sorry you're all dealing with that. I understand it must be very hard having these urges, especially with the visceral and often violent way society reacts to it. But we can't act like that isn't a problem because for some, those desires can very easily become a reality. Our resources often fail victims of CSA and fail to address the actions of perpetrators in a constructive manner but that doesn't mean we should accept it being unmanaged. People often complain that police don't stop crimes they only respond to them and the damage has already been done and more often than not they just make it worse. Arguing against treating people with these desires is the same. Some day, someone with these desires is going to act and by that point they will already have victimized someone else. We need these desires to be counciled and managed. We don't need to promote them being put to death but we can't ignore it either. We can advocate for a means by which their desires and impulses can be managed. Not every societal standard or boundary is designed to oppress, sometimes it is there to genuinely try to protect.

This is as much ground as I am willing to give. Being a pedophile without managing your desires is unhealthy. If you're going to try to argue with me that there is nothing for you to do about it, you can just not engage. I will not argue my point further.

I hate that he's called Ryan Gosling. He's like 45 years old, surely he's old enough to be an adult goose.

— Hbomberguy on plagiarism.

He watches cause he loves his little guys!

Like yeah. I know that none of us are immune to propaganda. But like. Some of y'all. Holy shit.

at the altar

part 1

I tried to look up how where to get quality clown noses like that and they were fifty dollars.

that's because the one i have is hand-sculpted and created by an artisan that sells to professional clowns. i take clowning seriously.

her: last night was magical

me, a materialist: no it wasn't

some of you are painfully unaware that part of the whole reason many kinksters are like "what happens in my or someone else's bedroom is no one else's business"

is because people have been arrested and put in fucking PRISON just for having gay sex in the privacy of their own homes. in the United States. this millennia.

if you think i'm joking, look up Lawrence v. Texas (2003). 14 out of the 50 US States STILL had laws on the books criminalizing sodomy--and yes, you could be imprisoned for multiple years and sometimes even life for repeat offenses.

in the years directly leading up to the landmark case, enforcement even in those 14 states varied, but it was absolutely weaponized against queer people, especially when stacked on top of other offenses to make up a longer sentence.

um so anyway, what happens between two or more consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes is none of my OR YOUR business, and i'm not fucking kidding!

Important additional context:

"Sodomy" does not, in a legal context, mean "anal sex."

It means "any sexual act the court has decided is deviant."

BDSM? Sodomy.

Crossdressing for sexual pleasure? Sodomy.

Jacking off to nude photos or video your consenting adult lover sent you of themselves? Sodomy.

Het oral sex? SODOMY!!!

If you're starting to think "but how could anyone prove that happened without breaking down the door?"

Ha. Haha. Ahaha.

First, I'll give you one guess how they did prove it.

Two, these were often scapegoat charges--basically they couldn't actually nail you on anything because you hadn't done anything actually illegal, only things they didn't like, and they relied on public disgust against your "degenerate character" (yeah there's a very big reason we keep saying not to use that word and it's not to be killjoys) to make sure you knew your place.

Which means that in practice:

Went to a socialist meeting? Sodomy.

Male kindergarten teacher? Sodomy.

Mixing races? Sodomy.

Not Christian (or the right kind of Christian)? Sodomy.

Kink is only the beginning. They'll come after the kinksters because they're low-hanging fruit, and you'll gleefully help them dig a hole, laughing all the way and never consider that it's way too big for the number of bodies you need to bury.

why does she look like geddy lee

Alas, this post is about Magic the Gathering

Masked Palm Civet or Himalayan Palm Civet (Paguma larvata), family Viverridae, Thailand

photograph by Alexander Coke Smith

very polite. 10/10

One incredibly good girl

this crab has better table manners than some of the people I served when I was a waitress at the pub.

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

This distinguished gentlebeast appears to be a Smooth-handed Ghost Crab (Ocypode cordimana)!

They are members of the Ghost and Fiddler crab family Ocypodidae, and have a highly varied diet of plant/algal matter, other invertebrates, vertebrates, eggs, and carrion. They’re opportunistic and will try to get anything they can eat!

This species is also widely distributed across the Pacific and Indian oceans, where they can be found most active at night on beaches. Like other ghost and fiddler crabs, they typically stay hidden in their burrows during the day to avoid predators.

Grapes, as shown here, make for a delightful treat for captive Ocypodes; however, it should only be a treat and part of a balanced and varied diet including fish pellets, shellfish (such as clams), and veggies.

Photo by Thomas Mesaglio (iNaturalist)

[ImageID: A small tan-and-beige ghost crab of the species Ocypode cordimana sitting on a sandy beach during evening hours. It has two large white claws with its right claw being slightly larger than the left. It has two black-colored eyes on eyestalks and a slightly pale pink-colored mouthparts called mandibles, maxillae, and maxilipeds. /. end ID]

Hi do you still like me

you're cool. no sunfish but you're chill

How could I ever stack up to the largest boney fish in the world....

yes my tits are amazing but can they compare to the glorious dorsal fins of the mighty Mola Mola

you have nowhere near the amount of parasites that a mola mola has, and that’s gotta count in your favor

???

happy anniversary to the great molasses flood

happy boston molassacre, the bad joke that got a fight over the name for the wikipedia page started on my behalf

My mother is all into homesteading and off-grid living videos right now. Every time I check up on her, this is what she wants to talk about.

It gives her a sense of peace and purpose I guess. Which is good, she’s been struggling to find that with her injuries and condition. She’s learning skills, and feeling prepared for “the worst”. Like I can’t get her to stop watching conspiracy theory bullshit on YouTube so at least this kind of content alleviates some of the anxiety the other content amplifies, because she feels like she can do something now to secure her safety later.

But to get through these conversations, I have to tell myself— hey, if natural disaster comes our way, some of this might be useful. But I know she’s not just thinking a big storm or natural disaster. She’s preparing for the collapse of society. And I don’t know how to break it to her that we wouldn’t survive that. You can make long lasting candles with crisco? Cool. Where you going to by crisco when society collapses? You’ll stock up now? Ok cool. What will you do when it runs out? Honestly, before it runs out, what will you do when people with guns come to take your various stockpiled supplies?

If we hit a point where society collapses, we’re done for. Food, medicine, etc. we can’t survive without society, without a world where people are working together trying to help each other out.

So, I’ll go through with this shit in the name of natural disaster preparedness, and because it helps her. But that’s as far as I’m willing to put energy into it. I refuse to prepare for, bet on, or hope for the collapse of society. I’d rather spend my energy trying to prevent society collapsing, what little part I can play in that. I’d rather spend my energy supporting people in my community. I’d rather work and build towards a better future, not prepare for the worst.

OP, if your mother is physically able to do the following, I strongly suggest it:

Get her into a fibercraft. Sewing, knit, crochet. Because here’s the thing:

At first, you can pitch it as “we’re all still gonna need clothes and these idiots with their doomsday bunkers can’t even thread a needle.” But after awhile—let this take a bit of time, not so long that she gets bored but long enough that she’s like “I’ve DONE this already”—introduce her to a slightly more advanced concept. She was practicing on circle skirts? Check out how to make darts. Crochet blankets? There are SO MANY cool stitches.

And then when the craft has a decent grip as a hobby….THEN you introduce her to a crafting social group.

One of the best ways to stop people falling down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole is to make sure they have active and diverse community, and being able to make tangible things has been shown to have a positive influence on mental health. If cost is a concern, I literally have spare crochet hooks I could send you to get her started and all I’d ask for them is cost of postage, which is like. Maybe three bucks. You can even find halfway decent yarn at the dollar store now. It’s not amazingly high quality, but it’s good enough for practice and learning.

I cannot recommend the above enough. My dad is a prepper and was falling in with a militia. Like the white supremacy militias.

So I started casually mentioning i wanted to do Search and Rescue- knowing my father is incredibly competitive and will try and out do me.

I was all "but we can't rely on the government to find people!"

Now he has been on 6 different tours in the US. He is a field commander and the most successful in state history.

He independently made a partnership with a Black and Missing coalition and partners with them on searches for Black Ohio and.

He called me the other day so proud he has " a Trans and a nonbinary whatever that is" on his search team. So is he perfect? No. But now he isn't toting a gun around and threatening people.

He's getting better. Sure he built a secret bunker in the basement. But he's recovered multiple bodies and reunited people with loved ones.

Sure we still can't have a conversation without him divulging into some bigoted speak here and there.

But he's been lead in recovering teens trafficked from our state and successfully recovered them in Georgia in 10 hours.

Sure he isn't perfect. But he didn't fall completely and maybe he will become even better on his own.

The secret is: is they aren't going to become themselves again but you can help them not crumble completely. You can still have your parent even if they are a bit.. ahhhh.... hurtful. But they aren't hurting anyone and that's the important part.

We are what we become. So help people become in a good direction.

Part of the reason people (particularly white people) of a certain age fall down the doomsday preparation hole into conspiracy theorist is

there is very little community for non-churchgoing white folks.

There is such a push in white culture to get your kids out the door and settled in their own home after you've raised them nearly exclusively alone for 20 years. Your work friends are your work friends. You retire and they don't see you anymore.

You don't go to church? All of the church groups don't see you.

Because the prevalent culture among white people is go it alone. If you're lucky and not divorced, you get your partner, but usually the go it alone is so pervasive that even working as a team with one other person is usually too hard, not to mention the stress of only having one person and how you have no place to vent about that person when needed (and everyone sometimes needs to vent about their loved ones no matter how good the relationship.)

So you get to this place where your culture has led you and you have grown-up kids, no spouse, no friends, and a whole lot of undefinable resentment about your life that you're not supposed to feel.

And this person on youtube comes along and says "Fuck them all, society will collapse any day now."

And you nod along in agreement.

But if you have a hobby, and start making friends from that hobby?

Suddenly that support system vents all of those icky building resentments and you can depend on people and make friends and have relationships and the world doesn't feel so bad.

Honestly, white culture takes a pack animal and puts it in a cage alone and then wonders why so many white people are miserable, racist pricks.