The most feminine thing a girl can do is to tear someone's throat with her nails

Helen who doesn't know if she left willingly or not.

Helen who can clearly remember and explain why she decided to leave, who can recall every single emotion she felt and every step of her thought process leading to her leaving.

Helen who looking back feels like she never should have felt attracted to Paris this strongly feels like she never felt anything this intense ever in her life except for her later hatred for him as well.

Helen who knows she was unhappy with her life, like it was lacking something crucial she was hoping to find with Paris.

Helen who knows how much she loves her husband and home and knows whatever else she felt should not have been stronger then this love.

Helen who really genuinely cannot understand if this decision was hers. Helen who after thinking about this for seventeen years takes the blame fully on herself nonetheless because she is sick of not having any agency and cannot bare the thought that the decision that doomed her life wasn't hers to make. Who takes the full responsibility of the war because that makes her feel like at least she was in control.

Because the idea of not having this control feels worse.

To be honest my favorite thing about Paris the musical (apart from Helen's voice) is the fact that achaeans were planning to sack the Troy even before Helen left with Paris.

It is so sad to feel that my enthusiasm towards greek mythology is declining, like, yeah, that is exactly what usually happens to all of my hyperfixations, but greek mythology is the first one with which I engaged with people, written and posted my own stuff, I have so many drafts of jokes that I didn't feel to be complete in the moment, analysis that i planned to look into later, or some wips that I never quite polished. And now I'm not sure that I will. I have one from almost a year ago about Cassandra, one about Odysseus and Athena that I never finished, big analysis on the iliad I kept postponing, another on Penelope, this wip about Aphrodite and Helen that I really like and really want to finish, and those are only the ones I actually started to write.

And again, it is not that surprising, all of my hyperfixations usually last maximum for couple of years, but it still feels very sad

Have a strong desire to start posting or sending someone random fragments of my Helen-Paris-Aphrodite WIP without any context cause i really love many parts of it but have no idea how to stitch them together into something coherent

A really old Penelope piece

Why narrator if not unreliable

Randomly remembered how couple of years ago i decided that my English is finally good enough to read a book in English and actually enjoy it without having to go to translator every page, so I chose a book and turns out that half of the book all the characters recited Shakespeare, and i was already like a third in and invested so i had to go and read all of the Shakespeare's plays that were mentioned in the book first in translation and than on English, just so I could understand what the fuck characters are even talking about.

And i still think this was a very funny experience of first reading book on English

Coming to like the idea that Aphrodite doesn't really force anyone to do things, but rather makes a person feel the way so they will want to do so themselves or consider this as the only possible course of actions.

Something something about how we cannot be blamed for how we feel about anything, but can still be blamed for the actions we do following these feelings

Helen lives in a "it was always going to end this way, there is nothing you could have done to prevent it" type of tragedy, but convinces herself that it is "it was never going to end like this, you could have prevented it, but chose not to" one

For me one of the important things about Helen and Aphrodite' relationship is that Helen would look at Aphrodite and think "is this how men feel looking at me?"

What porn even is if not a character study?

Turns out for me its very hard to write about Helen and Paris' relationship because, as i see it, their relationship is not about each other at all. It's always about Aphrodite and sometimes their own problems. And all of their feelings for each other are also not really about them, Helen's love and then hatred for Paris is not really about him but rather about what he represents, Paris's love for Helen isn't really about her but about what she represents.

They look at each other and do not see a person but a twisted image of Aphrodite.