"she’s so mean. she’s so specific. she’s like a therapist from hell."

"hegira is SUCH a tiny act 3 character but i love her because she’s basically the only adult in that little rivington scene who isn’t either (a) screaming about “my city” or (b) quietly letting it happen. she’s just standing there like “i am trying to keep my faith intact while listening to this man call desperate people ‘strays’” and you can feel her patience fraying. like, she’s a cleric, she’s supposed to be compassionate, and she IS, but she’s also human and you can tell she wants to start swinging. more NPCs should be allowed to be morally correct and also annoyed about it!!"

"the whole “Shar’s scalpel” thing, the nurses standing there clutching rusty implements, the patient on the table… it’s instantly one of the creepiest scenes in Act 2."

"he’s gross. he’s memorable. and if you’ve ever wanted to win a fight by manipulating a pretentious necro-surgeon into volunteering for his own demonstration… malus thorm is your guy."

"when you’re juggling Orin’s chaos on one side and Gortash’s “order” on the other, it’s such a good Act 3 pressure cooker because he’s basically saying “you can end this fast, if you stop caring about ethics for five minutes.”"

"The Durge/Gortash history is SO juicy because it’s not “random villain offers alliance,” it’s “we already did this once.” He talks to you like you’re the only person in the room who understands the blueprint, and it’s awful and intimate in the creepiest way."

"gortash is fascinating to me because he’s clearly got the mind of a scientist, like not “wizard genius,” but actual experiment-brain, the kind of guy who looks at a city and sees systems, inputs, outputs, pressure points, and then goes “cool, i can optimize that.”"

"the Durge connection makes him even better because you get this sense that Durge was the one person he treated like an equal on the drawing board intellectually. He talks like “you remember how we planned this,” like there were late nights, drafts, contingency plans, the whole gross little think-tank vibe. and it’s so telling that when he sees Durge again he doesn’t go “how dare you,” he goes “this changes the variables,” and immediately starts trying to slot you back into the design. also i’m sorry but any villain who can look at the world ending and still pitch you a merger deal is automatically compelling. He’s smart in the most dangerous way: not just clever, but structured. he makes evil feel efficient, which is scarier than theatrics. anyway. i love to hate him. and i love that he hates Orin’s chaos because it’s bad for the plan. same, king. same."

"finding gortash’s parents selling camp shoes like normal civilians while you’re holding the knowledge they SOLD HIM and that he was FORCED INTO SLAVERY in the HOUSE OF HOPE OF ALL PLACES is actually insane."

"sebastian existing is the game looking you dead in the eye and going “yeah, astarion had victims. real ones.”"

"Sebastian is the vampire spawn in Cazador’s cells who recognizes Astarion, and it’s genuinely one of the most stomach-dropping moments in that whole questline. No big lore speech, just “oh. you did this.”"

"the sebastian scene hits like a truck because it’s not abstract anymore. it’s not “7,000 spawn somewhere offscreen,” it’s a guy with a NAME who’s been down there for ages, and he remembers the exact vibe of being lured in - being chatted up, being made to feel special, getting drunk, and then waking up in a cage forever. and if astarion’s with you?? it’s the most awful kind of karma because you can see him trying to cope in real time, like he wants to be defensive and he can’t, because sebastian is right there. it’s so nasty and so good writing."

"sebastian is the reason i can’t treat the Cazador plot like “fun vampire mansion.” It stops being camp the second you open those cells. He’s not written to flatter Astarion, he’s written to be a consequence, and that’s why he sticks. And the way he says it - “You’re the one from the tavern. You smiled and joked and got me drunk.” - is so simple it’s worse, because it sounds like a normal memory, not a fantasy-horror cutscene. Also, I like that he isn’t there to forgive anybody. he’s angry, he’s terrified, he’s been trapped, and he’s allowed to be all of that without the game making him “nice” for the player. If you’re the kind of person who loves NPCs that make the story feel heavier (in a good way)… yeah. sebastian. That’s the guy."

"the thing with silfy is she’s SO bad at it. like mattis is doing his coin flip spiel, mol is running operations, and silfy is out here going “uhhh… can i have your money please?” with tears in her eyes. and if you’re nice to her she softens instantly, like she’s been waiting for literally one adult to not yell. it’s such a small interaction but it makes the tiefling kids feel real, because yeah, of course they’re doing petty theft, of course they’re trying to be “street,” they’re displaced and hungry and everyone keeps telling them they’re a problem."

"he says “darling” and suddenly i’m volunteering as a snack"

"he’s so funny i’m sorry. his commentary is top tier. even when he’s being the worst he’s at least being the worst with style"

"astarion is the character i did not expect to get attached to and then it happened anyway, because he’s such a mess and he KNOWS it. He’ll flirt, he’ll lie, he’ll posture, he’ll act like nothing touches him, and then you get these moments where the mask slips and it’s like… oh. and the best part is you can actually influence what kind of freedom he chooses. you can enable the whole “power will fix me” plan, or you can push him toward something that looks more like healing (even if it’s ugly and slow and he fights it). Also: the fact he genuinely enjoys being mean is hilarious. he’s a hater. he’s a gossip. he’s the friend who would absolutely egg you on to make the worst decision at a party. and then when you hit the cazador stuff the game stops being cute about it. it’s grim. it’s personal. it’s about bodies and consent and ownership and what you do after you get out. and he’s still standing there trying to decide who he wants to be next. i don’t care how you play him, i just think he’s one of the most memorable companions they’ve ever written."

"lakrissa is the tiefling who makes a 10g “we’re all gonna die lol” bet with you and somehow that’s the hottest possible energy for act 1"

"her whole thing with Alfira is very “two people clinging to something soft while everything sucks,” and finding them again is always a relief. i don’t need a giant plot twist, i just want them to get their drink and a quiet night without goblins, cults, or anyone yelling “THE ABSOLUTE.”"

"After freeing her for her cage and helping her out for the first time in one of my runs, I always have to do it. She is so funny. Chronic backstabber who tries to sell you out at the first chance. But then will beg for your help if she needs your help too <3 "we're basically family" oh sazza you sneaky lil bastard. marry me."

"she can keep showing up across the game if you keep refusing to let her die, which feels like you accidentally adopted a feral raccoon."

"the fact that you can escort her straight into the goblin camp and she’s basically walking around like “yep. i know these guys. i’m important.” meanwhile you’re sweating because you’re infiltrating a cult and your plus-one is a goblin with the mouth of a 2012 cod lobby"

"lorroakan has “my tower, my rules” energy while living in someone else’s tower. embarrassing. vote him."

"Lorroakan is the Sorcerous Sundries wizard who put a hologram of himself at the front desk so he never has to speak to customers. That alone is an S-tier character trait."

"if you’re a loot goblin you can do the most ridiculous thing where one party member keeps her talking while another one sneaks behind her and steals the entire barrel. anyway. philomeen hive. i support women’s rights and women’s wrongs and women’s extremely dangerous runepowder storage choices."

Tav: Can you cure the tadpole? Gut: yes, in private. alone. Tav: That’s a red flag. Gut: drink this. Tav: That’s two red flags.

"She’s a mess, she’s memorable, she makes the whole quest feel more like Baldur’s Gate (corrupt, chaotic, slightly stupid), and I’m fond of her little “huzzah!!” energy even when she’s being the worst"

"“i die. you die. we all die. big woof! have a treato” <- philosophy degree speedrun"

"he’s got DRIBBLES’ SEVERED HAND just sitting there like it’s artisanal charcuterie (sir??), and if you get caught stealing he doesn’t even call guards, he tries to haggle with you, like “hmmm yes, 10,000 gold, artisinal bite marks”"

"if you bring jaheira/minsc it adds this extra layer of “oh no… not HER,” which is DELICIOUS. love when the game lets you feel history punching you in the face"

"kar’niss is one of my favourite act 2 characters because he’s basically a walking reminder that the cult didn’t just recruit people, it collected the ones who were already broken. like, lolth already ruined him (drider punishment is not a casual thing!!!), and then the absolute comes along and gives him a job and a title and a lantern and a purpose and he grabs it with both hands like “see? i’m chosen. i’m safe. i’m useful.” meanwhile everyone around him is side-eyeing him because he’s a drider and they’re creeped out, and he’s still doing the work anyway, hauling idiots through the curse, keeping them in the light, talking to his goddess like she’s right there in his ear. and i love that you can handle him a bunch of ways - fight him, ambush him with the harpers, or trick him into giving you the lantern - but no matter what, he feels like a sad little dead end. there’s no “save him” route. he’s already past the point of saving. it’s gross and it’s heartbreaking and it’s memorable, which is exactly why he deserves votes."

"If evil abomination, why shaped like a friend? 🥺"

"the fact his whole store is just… wall to wall instruments with little item descriptions/backstories and he’s so proud of it?? love that. let me buy a silly fancy drum from my enthusiastic dragonborn uncle and pretend the city isn’t on fire for five minutes"

"i appreciate that he’s specifically an instrument-maker / trader vibe, not “mysterious artifact dealer” - he’s just selling craft. like yes, you can go fight gods later, but first you can stand in front of a display of fancy blue-rarity instruments and go “hmm. i deserve a treat.” i am choosing to believe he’s personally responsible for at least 40% of the bards in baldur’s gate having the confidence to get on stage. thank you thomas c quirkilious, patron saint of “you look like someone who owns a lyre.”"

"i think nettie gets unfairly dunked on because people act like she’s being evil, and it’s more like… she’s living in a grove that’s already on the edge, everyone’s stressed, there’s goblins outside, halsin is missing, and suddenly you show up with the single worst piece of information a healer can hear (“there’s a mind flayer parasite in my head”). she’s not doing this because she’s power tripping, she’s doing it because she’s terrified of what you could become in the middle of their home. and the part that sticks with me is how it can go a bunch of ways—if you lie, she panics harder and tries to dose you; if you’re straight with her, she still can’t fix it, but she gives you that awful “last resort” option and makes you swear. it’s such a believable little moment of “good intentions + fear + limited resources” colliding. also, bonus: if you handle it without murdering her, it makes the grove feel more real to me - like there are people here trying to do medicine and harm reduction while everyone else is arguing about rites and borders. nettie’s just… in the trenches."

"i’m obsessed with the idea that milil is a whole deity and still got basically yoinked into the function by withers like “you owe me.” and he’s just there, doing his divine performance, with the floating spirit instruments backing him up like a magical one-man band, and he looks SO over it?? not in a “i hate music” way, in a “i’m an ancient entity and i cannot believe this is how my evening is going” way. it’s the most “gods are real but they’re still employees” moment in the entire game."

"the first time she showed up in disguise i was like “oh cool, a normal npc interaction” and then it’s orin. of course it’s orin. it’s ALWAYS orin"

"orin is what happens when you give a murder cult a theatre kid with authority and nobody tells her to stop, because EVERYTHING she does is a performance, she’s not just killing people she’s curating it, she’s leaving little calling cards and doing outfits and making sure you know she’s having fun, and then you finally get to the temple and she’s up there on the altar like it’s opening night, and i’m sorry the slayer form reveal is still one of the most “oh we’re in a HORROR game suddenly” moments bg3 pulls. also if you’re durge and it turns into that whole bhaal vs bhaal family drama duel situation?? ridiculous, mean, iconic. i hate her. i’m obsessed with her. i want to throw her into the abyss and also congratulate her on committing to a bit this hard"

"Playing durge made me understand that Orin would had been us if we never got our memory erased by her. She tried to destroy durge and give them another chance to be something else more than a bhaalspawn. But she never got that chance. The one moment you can make her hesitate and doubt Bhaal, he forcefully turns her into the slayer to fight you."

"in the actual fight she hits you with the “oh, you thought you were casting spells?” counterspell. first thing. immediately. and if you try to get cute with aoe she’s in the middle like “thank you for grouping up for me <3” awful. incredible. i respect her so much i hate her."

"she’s built like she could throw you down the stairs AND she’s also absolutely going to ruin your day with magic if you blink wrong"

"He is my non-verbal son. He kept watch for his friends even though it is loud and bright. I found the letter he wrote to his father in the Underdark and it broke my heart. He disappears after Act 1 which probably means bad things, but I hope he got out and is living his best life."

"he treats karlach like a person instead of a problem to solve. he’s gentle about it. he’s practical about it. he never acts like she’s a burden. he’s just like “bring me the metal, i’ll do the work,” while the rest of the world keeps telling her she’s doomed"

"i love withers because he has the energy of a skeleton accountant. you die? he’s got a form for that. you want to respec? he’s got a form for that. you want to hire a random mercenary stranger to fill the party gap you created bc you’re emotionally attached to a suboptimal build? he’s got a form for that too. and he does it all with zero enthusiasm. camp grandpa from hell."

"him being jergal makes his whole “why do you care about romance” routine even funnier, because imagine an ancient death scribe looking at your party flirting and going “this is what you do with your limited time?” sir. please. let us have something"

"they kept a revolutionary prince in a magic pokeball and siphoned his powers for the whole game. let him OUT."

"he's been awake through his own captivity, listening to the world argue over whether he deserves freedom, and then you show up like “hi, so, we may have benefited from your suffering.” and he’s STILL willing to talk strategy. he’s angry (fair), proud (fair), and he’s carrying the weight of “my people have been fed propaganda for centuries” on his back the second you break those crystals. and then the endgame decision hits and he’s basically like: someone has to become illithid, i will do it if i must. that is such a brutal kind of leadership - no speeches, no romance, just grim responsibility. it’s also why he works as a foil to the emperor: one is running survival calculus and calling it necessity, the other is saying “i should have been free, and we’re going to pay the cost honestly now.” whether you agree with him or not, he makes the whole finale feel sharper. plus… the githyanki civil war angle?? vlaakith stans in shambles. let the prince cook."

"chop is the saddest lil bugbear butcher in the mind flayer morgue and every time he says “chop. chop. CHOP.” i feel like i need to lie down."

"ma’am i’m free on tuesdays if you need another skeleton"

"you interrupt her room, it’s awkward, then it’s immediately not awkward because Fist Jara goes full mind flayer, and after you save her she’s basically like… “so anyway- did you SEE how beautiful that was?” like girl??? priorities??? but it’s also kind of sweet?? she’s not traumatized into being silent, she’s curious, she’s alive, she’s taking control of the moment again."

"she’s in this private room called nymph’s grotto, she’s got a client who’s supposed to be a little indulgence moment, and then - surprise - absolute tadpole nonsense, mind flayer transformation, violence. and when it’s over she’s not begging you for reassurance or acting like you’re her savior, she clocks the horror and the beauty at the same time, says the mind flayer was BEAUTIFUL. plus the rapture buff is INSANE for a day, so mechanically she’s also like “congrats on your existential crisis. have +everything.” thank you, queen. no notes."