when I was like 14 I used to reblog these posts on here that were like "YOUR 20S ARE NOT AN IMAGINARY RACE YOURE DOING JUST FINE!!" just to be positive towards my older mutuals even though i didn't really get what they were abour and I'd be in the tags like "#so true!! #everyone does things at their own pace!!" and now im 24 I'm thinking back to it and it's like Oh of course the imaginary race. Which I'm losing
One of my favorite things about moving into my own apartment has been just autism/adhd proofing the fuck out of the place. I can accommodate my needs as much as I want to and it’s a type of freedom every neurodivergent person should experience
I love thinking I'm a hater and then meeting a real hater and going wow that does not look fun actually. Going back to my lukewarm hater ways. Performative haterdom. I couldn't name five hater bands.
re-posting bc reblogs got turned off etc
A few things uou need to know:
- My mother- who was a single parent raising me alone in my early youth- has never believed in baby talk. So when I was born, she started from day one talking to me and treating me like I was an adult.
- As a result of this, I had rather high expectations of other adults from a very young age, and despised being talked down to. The worst was being asked sweetly and stupidly y over and over, “can you say “hello”?” in a way that felt like I was an animal being coaxed into performing a trick.
- In my earliest years, I learned that using certain words and phrases could convince new adults to treat me the way I preferred. So to combat the annoyances of being treated like a subhuman idiot, I began purposefully expressing myself with a broad vocabulary.
- My mother started teaching me how to read when I was three. By the time I was five, my favourite thing to read was Calvin and Hobbes anthologies, partly because I loved tigers, but mostly because in every other book I’d read, kids my age were written as stupid babies with no thought process or agency who nobody seemed to think of as capable of thinking or contributing. Calvin, though, was only a year older than me, and had a rich inner world, and was capable of speaking meaningfully and eloquently while still being a kid. Calvin was a kid the way that kids WERE, not the way adults saw us.
- As a consequence of this, I think, I developed a prematurely warped sense of humour wherein- again, starting around age five- the funniest thing in the world to me was to approach adults and instigate conversations wildly beyond my age range. Like “oh, you’re slowing yourself down for me? Bold of you to assume I’m not already four steps ahead”.
- I imagine this was probably very annoying, as I mostly didn’t actually have the experience or context to fully understand a lot of the subjects I was talking about and was mostly just imitating the persona of a mildly disinterested and somewhat philosophical old woman, but I genuinely understood enough vocab to bluff around the gaps in my knowledge long enough for the funny part to happen.
- My preferences to spend more of my time fucking with adults instead of my peers slowly widened the already-existing gap between me and the majority of my schoolmates, which honestly didn’t bug me much because the two friends I DID have were way more fun than the rest of them anyways. But I was probably a bit emotionally stunted by this point anyways
- Cut to me, age nine or so. Annoying know-it-all, deeply ironic, and the kind of kid who would rather lick a carrot peeler than suffer through the torture of meaningful emotional vulnerability with any adult ever
- First real health class
- We get the Puberty talk
- Skin-peelingly awkward
- Mr. Q, our fifty-ish something teacher, brings out a question box and a bunch of scraps of paper. Says he wants everyone to write down at least one question and he would pull a handful of them out anonymously to answer.
- I cannot resist
- We all submit our questions
- Question one. “What is a vulva”
- Diagram. Clinical and age-appropriate response.
- Question two. “Is love nothing more than a chemical reaction designed to ensure the survival of the species?”
- Long awkward pause
- Teacher clears his throat
- [This is hilarious]
- Teacher speaks
- “Uh…….”
- “Well, um. I suppose… I love my wife. And I love my children. Or I would describe what I feel for them as love.”
- Oh No
- [Dawning realization that I have trapped myself and everyone in this room in a Feelings Talk]
- [Panic and stare directly through the floor until he stops talking about his personal emotions regarding family and society and shit]
- [Pain And Suffering And Hell because this is, in fact, what I signed us all up for, because boarding a plane to Alaska means that you are definitely going to Alaska, no matter if it was a joke or not, because the plane doesn’t give a fuck, because it is a plane and you are a moron]
The lessons in humour I learned that day have stuck with me ever since
- Sincerity always wins
- You Can Press The Big Red Button Whenever You Like But You Cannot Un-Send The Nuke
Today I stood beside my mother in the hospital, and the doctors were clear: her condition is critical and deeply alarming. My mother is not asking for the impossible , she is asking for her right to live. She is a human being, a soul in pain, just like your mother.
Why this silence? Why this indifference? My mother urgently needs to travel to receive the treatment that could save her life.
vetted by @gazavetters (line #658)
Hate the stomach's occasional tendency to respond to hunger with nausea. Like babygirl you are NOT helping your case right now by threatening to push the emergency "eject all food now" button!!!
absolutely hate it when the pleasurable activity procrastination hits. i’m going to do something fun that brings me joy but not yet. yeah, not yet. not yet. maybe i shouldn’t do it at all, it’s not that fun
STOP 🛑🍉🇵🇸
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #721 )✅️
Hello everyone 👋
I'm Hassan from Gaza 🍉🇵🇸
I'm married and have two little girls ❤️🩹🫂
We're currently living in a tent after losing our home, our jobs, and everything else 🥺💔
My youngest needs milk every day, and it's still expensive 🍼💔
Life is still incredibly difficult here For my children's sake, please share my story 🥺🙏
Please donate, even a little; your donation could truly save my children ❤️🩹🙏🙏
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #721 )✅️
Poll and a fundraiser which really needs attention
Challenge in addition to the poll: Let's keep the reblogs higher than the votes.
Jamal's fundraiser has reached its first short term goal of $5,000 after months of fundraising. Which is good! I'd like to thank everyone who saw our posts and donated, it really means everything to Jamal <333
The fundraisers next short term goal is $7,000 so I'm making this post to make that happen. I hope we can do it much quicker than before, so I urge you to donate and/or share because this fundraiser really needs it!
Jamal is vetted, see his info on the pinned post of my blog
Donations have stopped and the last donation was 2 days ago. Please keep sharing! And also, thank you to all the rockstars who have donated to Jamal so far!!! <333
Last donation was now 3 days ago!
Last donation was once again 3 days ago, things are slowing down again
I think u should start writing your original story btw. I want to read it.
addition: I understand wanting to wait until things feel Right to write. but as someone who also contends with adhd and The Situations there is not going to be a time where it magically feels perfect to write. "I'll do it someday / later / when..." is an endless delay. you've gotta crack open a document and write something even if it sucks ass because if you don't get your brain used to the habit it's not gonna stick. the time you can start is Now.
