heated rivalry × tumblr posts (4/?)

I'm not really actively pursuing press junket stuff, but you know how it is, you watch two or three recaps of the hockey show and the YouTube algorithm goes apeshit, so now I'm drowning in these dudes. Which is fine, they're entertaining. But what's really interesting to me is Natively Online Zoomer Hudson Williams, who clearly suited up for this and came to play. Oh, *you* guys want to be uncomfortably parasocial and invasive about my body and sexuality? Well I'm about to be hilarious.

I think I started out reading a lot of his behavior as good old-fashioned improv training. Someone wants his reaction to the giant billboard of his naked body? *Yes, and* he thinks they should change it so it shows hole. Volley back to you, now you react.

But I started reading a little bit of Jolly Aggression into his vibe, and that's when I twigged -- I don't think this is an improv showcase, I think it's a poker game. He sees your weird question and he raises you. He's on this tour all month, he's got nowhere else to be, and he thinks you're going to fold before he does. Which seems to be the case, every time! I think I like the lad.

Does it fucking kill you too? Not anymore.

i don’t know how to explain this, but ilya rozanov talks to his home appliances. do you know what i mean?

man apologizes to his three trillion dollar roomba when he accidentally kicks it across the floor

the espresso maker gives a ragged shriek and he nods, tired and understanding and “yes you need cleaning - i know"

if something catches him with an error code at the wrong time, his bitchy ass is imitating the beeps and then spitting “shut up”

shane once finds him deep in negotiations with the washing machine. much of the russian goes over his head, but he picks up on enough to know they’ve just entered the bargaining phase.

‘ohhh ilya’s an asshole. he's so mean blah blah blah.’ he’s literally thanking siri after she identifies weird, fucked up canadian wildlife noises for him. i’m sorry but he is.

Help, I can't leave the cottage \(>0<)/

obsessed with them actually <3

Boy boy boy boy

i’m not kidding we need to stop conceding the point that it’s weird in the first place for women to be into gay romance/porn/etc. it’s driving me up the wall that every attempt i see at thoughtful/nuanced Social Commentary on the matter begins with “lots of people don’t understand why women would be into this, BUT here’s a list of Special Reasons that this appeals to the Feminine Gaze” as if this is not just reinforcing the premise that there is some fundamental & universal split between how men & women experience desire. imagine how much more productive our conversations could be if we instead started with “lots of people don’t understand why women would be into this. why? what assumptions are those people making to begin with about women?”

“Mirrored Jealousy”, Ilya Rozanov (Connor Storrie), Heated Rivalry 1.04 | Rose, digital art

Jan, 2026

and actually im not done talking about shane hollander

because it is my deeply held belief that shane has always ALWAYS known deep down that he is gay but he is heavily heavily heavily in denial regarding it like he is fully the type to watch gay porn (or literally have gay sex!!!) and then not read into it as indicative of who he is at all

like the whole point of denial is that you know! if you take the time to look at the searing sun of the truth, you actually know! you knew all along!

the show has never been about shane discovering he is gay it is about him accepting that he is gay

shane is completely divorced from understanding his desires as part of himself because he as a person is in the career of compartmentalising what he is willing to surrender of his desires (food, sex, ilya! true human connection, love) for what he values (success, conformity, honesty, familial approval)

the beauty of the show is how shane manages to break this false barrier in his own mind and accept that suppressing his desires actually does not bring him closer to his values and in fact takes him further away from a lot of them

“i don’t want you to lie, thats not who you are”

and that he will be happier freer and actually more inclined towards achieving what he wants when he can live as his!!!!!! true!!!!!!! self!!!!!!

major league hockey fan watching ilya kiss shane’s helmet at the 2017 all star game and posting “god had to put ilya rozanov and shane hollander on rival teams because otherwise they’d be having so much gay sex they wouldn’t have time for hockey” and then a few years later reblogging themselves like “WELL”

Currently stuck on the way Shane is kissing Ilya so softly to comfort him, but Ilya practically dislocates his jaw to try to taste and feel as much of Shane’s mouth as he can, like a man reaching an oasis in the dessert after days without water. This is their first kiss in months after Ilya has been brokenhearted over Shane being with someone else and now that Ilya has him back in his arms, he wants to consume him so he can never leave him again.

heated rivalry × tumblr posts (3/?)

heated rivalry ☆ 1.05 i'll believe in anything but to everyone watching, this was just typical rozanov being a playful asshole

connor on late night: *incredibly charming, jokes that the skating was harder than the russian*

hudson on the tonight show: assume the position jimmy