(michael cera voice) do you want to be lesbians with me?
what did you call it? bust a nut squash? what the fuck is wrong with you man, what is fucking *shoves you* what the fuck is wrong with you? *i have you by the collar and you finally repeat what you said which was "butternut squash"* oh my god. Dude im so sorry. eyes welling with tears im so sorry man im so sorry
i am reading this in his voice
remember gretchen felker-martin, the trans woman who DC comics fired and publicly humiliated for making a joke about charlie kirk's death?
[ID: A series of BlueSky posts from Gretchen Felker-Martin:
I don't know that they plan on saying anything publicly or speaking officially to industry press, but it has come to my attention that someone at DC Comics is back-channeling that I've already been paid. I haven't been paid a cent since July of last year, and that was for old work. I cannot express how fucking infuriated this bullshit makes me. Please believe me that I do not want to keep talking about this, but they owe me 15k and change, and that's real money to me.
end ID.]
fuck these ghouls. subscribe to gretchen felker-martin's patreon.
unbelievable to me that the comics industry is allowed to survive like this. all the major publishers pull this bullshit, and they’re never held accountable. these are companies that sell the franchise rights to artists work for MILLIONS and meanwhile the creators barely get to see a cent for work that is incredibly hard, thankless, and time consuming.
if you want proof that capitalism is bad for art, look no further, because this shit is sickening and it happens constantly. and then these companies have the audacity to question why comics don’t sell as well or aren’t as major a part of the zeitgeist. get the fuck out of here. burn marvel and dc to the ground.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Kate McKinnon getting her hair pulled by a pornstar Nina Hartley
[Video transcript:] Person angrily yelling: “–fucking computers bullshit. It’s fucking sick! It’s not cool anymore! It’s not fun! It’s not fun to be on the fucking computer! They changed everything about it! It used to be so coooool!”
literally saying this every day of my life
Someone in Glasgow please go see this for me pls. I will be there in spirit 🙏
Brief report from the flute accompaniment:
It went well! At least 100 people attended, families dogs a solid portion of Glasgow's trans community. There was a really lovely atmosphere, nice weather and a very cheerful celebratory vibe.
After short speeches from the ballhaver and the large dyke (my wife), the ballhaver was given a chupa chup and blindfolded (execution style). The balls were then duly kicked; it made a surprisingly loud dull thumping sound. She fell to the ground to loud cheers and there was a moment of silence while Taps played on the flute. The large dyke wore solovair urban hikers.
Account from the Large Dyke.
Arrived early to find the crowd already gathering, so the kick got off to a prompt start. Following some introductions from everybody and some cheery folk music from our flautist (my wife!) we got on with the kick.
I think we got good contact, the top of my boot making a good solid noise on impact. Very good atmosphere all round, people stayed to chat for a while. Were it not January it would have been an excellent opportunity for a picnic.
10/10 queer event, would happily kick anybody in the balls in the name of community.
Account from the ball haver
7am: the pressure is getting to me; I wake up and drink half a bottle of diet iron bru from my bedside table; roll out of bed, and psych myself up in the mirror - "you can do this my little pogchamp" I say to myself over and over until I decend into a stupor.
8am: I play an hour of Okami on steam to replenish my chi levels
9am: I look at my balls for a while
10am: I spend 20 or so minutes trying to decide what to wear before realising it's the subartic in midwinter and I'm going to have to dress for -2C° regardless of what I choose and opt of my trusty black Schott thermal padded winter flight jacket and a pair of loose, warm Uniqlo trousers to give my testicles room to breathe.
11am: crashing out, texting my friends to arange a substitute kickee, an understudy, anybody so I can just become one with the crowd and not go through with it
12am: the homies have arrived, I'm drinking redbush tea in a small cafe by the park; god is in his heaven and all is right with the world
12.15: "you must be here to watch me get kicked in the balls?"
12.40: a circle emerges, from within the circle a palpable energy focuses like a lens down unto me and I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants a little
12.50: cheers begin, several complete families with dogs arrive - more friends appear and assort themselves into a gathering of 'real heads' ready to watch my groin be dessicated by the firm lace of a women for woman woman with a foot loosed through the gates of war as Augustus saw fit the dispatch and return of his troops from far corners through the blessings of Janus.
12.55: I think I left the stove on
1pm: Short introductions are made, grace is shown, beautiful flute music accompanies the gathering
1.03pm: what is left of my dignity disappears up my inguinal canal; I fall to the ground and languish a moment. I can feel it more in my lower chest than I can in my groin but the humour and adrenaline lift me and I'm laughing on my feet again soon. I kneel for the last post.
what's that one thing where they asked how ripely from alien was so realistic and believable as a female character in scifi for once and they were like "well we just took the dude from the original script and made him a girl and changed nothing else. it works bc men and women are the same?" and people were like "woah no way" and then didn't learn anything from that for 20 years
"how do you write such believable men as a woman?" "how do you write such believable women a man?" and the answer people who are good at it always give is "i just write people. were literally the exactly the same. do you think the opposite sex is some sorta totally different animal???" and people respond "woah that's wild. yea i do. and im not gonna stop thinking that goodbye :)"
