When you realize that one song in Russian about the Finrod/Sauron song battle is actually part of an entire fucking musical

Here’s the musical, here’s a translation, I’m freaking stoked

I like to think im funny on twitter

based on this / all the memes that come from it

wait,, brilliant idea thank u @cerulean-shark

guys!!! this blog has hit 1.5k!!! to celebrate it i am doing fandom blogrates!

rules:

- must be following this blog - reblog this post - send me an ask with one to three fandoms for blogrates

fandoms:

💎 tolkien

beleriand / middle earth / valinor the hobbit / lord of the rings / silmarillion / children of hurin / fall of gondolin vanyar / noldor / teleri / avari / sindar nirnaeth arnoediad / battle of the pellenor fields / battle of dale gondor / rohan / shire / mordor / rivendell / lothlorien

✨ star wars

the core / the mid rim / the outer rim prequels / clone wars / originals jedi / senator / rebel / bounty hunter / smuggler millenium falcon / podracer / x-wing / snowspeeder / tie / naboo starfighter tatooine / coruscant / naboo / death star

⚔️ the witcher

the wild hunt / hearts of stone / blood and wine books / games human / elf / dwarf / witcher / halfling wolf / bear / cat / viper / griffin / manticore novigrad / velen / skellige / toissaint / kaer morhen / white orchard

☄️ dc universe

batman / superman / wonder woman / flash / aquaman / cyborg alfred pennyworth / robin batman vs superman / justice league / gotham / suicide squad comics / movies / cartoons / shows bruce’s intelligence / clark’s strength / diana’s power / barry’s speed

⚡️harry potter

hogwarts / hogsmeade / ministry of magic gryffindor / ravenclaw / hufflepuff / slyhterin charms / flying / potions / divination / arithmancy marauders era / harry potter era / new era james potter / sirius black / remus lupin / peter pettigrew

🔱 percy jackson

camp half-blood / camp jupiter percy jackson and the olympians / heroes of olympus the big trio / the olympians / lesser gods sword / knife / bow / dagger / spear empire state building / lotus hotel and casino / underworld / labyrinth

One of the ballsiest things Tolkien ever did was write 473k words about some hobbits called frodo, sam, merry, and pippin and then write in the appendices that their names are actually maura, ban, kali, and razal. 

This just in: Eowyn and Eomer’s names actually start with the letter “L.” [source for other nerds] 

#wait so they have hobbitish names and common names?

No, they have Westron names and English names.

What you’ve got to understand is that everything Tolkien wrote was him pretending to merely translate ancient documents. He was writing as if the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings were actually been written by Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam (or Bilba, Maura, and Ban) and he was just some random contemporary academic translating it all into English for us. 

There are many languages in his books, but generally speaking, everything written in English in the books is a translation of the language “Westron.” Therefore any names that come from Westron, he translated. Names coming from other languages, like Sindarin, he left as they were. Why? IDK. Maybe because the stories are from a hobbit perspective and hobbits speak Westron, so he wanted the Westron parts to sound familiar and the other languages/names to remain foreign? 

“But Mirkwoodest!” you cry, “The word ‘hobbit’ isn’t an English word! And the names Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin Took, and Meriadoc Brandybuck” all sounds super weird and not like English at all!”

Psych! They are in English! (Or Old English, German, or Norse.) Once again you underestimate what a nerd Tolkien was. Let me break it down: 

In Westron, hobbits are actually called “kuduk,” which means “hole-dweller,” so for an English translation, Tolkien called them “hobbits” which is a modernization of the Old English word “holbytla” which comes from “Hol” (hole) and “Bytla”(builder). 

“Maura” is a Westron name which means “Wise.” Weirdly enough, “Frodo” is an actual Proto-Germanic name that actual people used to have and it means the same thing. 

“Banazîr” is Westron for “half-wise, or simple.” In Proto Germanic, the prefix “Sam” means half, and wise is obviously a word we still use. 

“Razanur” means “Traveler” or “Stranger” which is also the meaning of the word “Peregrin(e)” This one is a twofer because  “Razar” means “a small red apple” and in English so does “Pippin.”

“Kalimac” apparently is a meaningless name in Westron, but the shortened form “Kali” means “happy,” so Jirt decided his nickname would be “Merry” and chose the really obscure ancient Celtic name “Meriodoc” to match. 

Jirt chose to leave “Bilba” almost exactly the same in English, but he changed the ending to an “O” because in Westron names ending in “a” are masculine. 

I’m not going to go on and talk about the last names but those all have special meanings too (except Tûk, which is too iconic to change more than the spelling of, apparently). 

The Rohirrim were also Westron speakers first and foremost, so their names are also “translations” into Old English and Proto-Germanic words, i.e. “Eowyn”  is a combination of “Eoh” (horse) and “Wynn” (joy/bliss). 

“Rohirrim/Rohan” are Sindarin words, but in the books, they call themselves the “Éothéod” which is an Old English/Norse combo that means “horse people.” Tolkien tells us in the “Peoples of Middle Earth” that the actual Westron for “Éothéod” is Lohtûr, which means that Eowyn and Eomer’s names, which come from the same root word, must also start with the letter L. 

The names of all the elves, dwarves, Dunedain, and men from Gondor are not English translations, since they come from root words other than Westron. 

The takeaway from this is that when a guy whose first real job was researching the history and etymology of words of Germanic origin beginning with the letter “W” writes a book, you can expect this kind of tomfoolery.

Notes: Sorry I said “Razal” instead of “Razar” in my original post I’m a fraud. 

Further Reading: 

Rohirric , Westron 

I saw a post about traditional folk music genres from around the world and I couldn’t resist the urge to do one for some of the various kindreds of Elves, I am so sorry

Vanyarin Folk Music Genres

Noldorin Folk Music Genres

Telerin Folk Music Genres

Sindarin Folk Music Genres

Avarin Folk Music Genres

On Feanorian “wives”

I’ve seen a few people claiming that Maglor can’t be shipped with men because he has a wife, so he’s obviously straight (let’s just pretend bisexual people don’t exist, then?) but the actual passage that mentions Maglor’s “wife” in HoME is:

As you may notice, that’s not gendered language. Neither Maglor nor Caranthir’s spouses actually have a confirmed gender, meaning that if someone claims you can’t see them as LGBT, they’re not only biphobic, but also just plain wrong.

Interpret this how you will, fellas. 

12-year-old-me being really invested in “the way the Lord of the Rings portrays the deep love between friends of the same gender” without realizing I was gay

I love how Samwise Gamgee broke fate

There’s this thing in LOTR where victory can only come at the cost of the person you set out to save. You can win the war, but you will lose the person you were fighting that war to protect. 

The heroes save the world from Sauron– but Aragorn and Arwen have to accept that they’re destined to lose each other,  Eowyn loses Theoden, Theoden loses Theodred, Faramir and Denethor lose Boromir, and so on. Middle Earth as a whole loses the elves, and with them a lot of its most precious memories and magic. Even in The Hobbit– Bilbo saves the Mountain, but loses Thorin. 

In Middle-Earth you can save the world— but you can’t save the reason you wanted to save it.

And so Frodo’s death seems inevitable. Sam has set out to save Frodo, just as all these other characters set out to save each other. And we’re constantly told (by characters who can actually see the future!) that yes, Frodo is just Fated to die. “The quest will claim his life.” The Epic Story can end in victory, but the Personal Story must inevitably end in a tragedy. That’s how Middle Earth works. To save the world, Frodo must die.

But Sam’s just like ….”I recognize destiny has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it’’

Frodo wasn’t…supposed to live…it flies in the face of every prophecy and every parallel and EVERYTHING that should happen!!!!! And yet he lives anyway!! Because of Sam.

Like: when Frodo is taken captive in Mordor, Sam has a choice between continuing the journey on his own OR making a one-hobbit attack on Shelob the Eldritch Horror and an entire fortress of orc warriors. Destiny is flat-out telling Sam: you must accept, as everyone else has, that saving the world means losing the person you love.  

But Sam REFUSES and launches a crazed one-hobbit attack  anyway because “screw ‘accepting the necessity of loss’, I LOVE HIM!” 

 Yes, in the end, Frodo has to go the Undying Lands… but that he lived to be able to set out on a journey to heal himself was more than a miracle. And he and Sam still aren’t separated forever, because in the ending of the book it’s revealed that Sam does eventually follow after him.

Follow to see this picture of Legolas every day

A little bit of Mairon, and a little bit of Melkor- as it should be <3

“Don’t go where I can’t follow” is one of the most anguish inducing and crushing otp lines out there and the fact that this line originated from Samwise Gamgee, a brave gardener with tender hands, just? Aches. There’s literally no heterosexual explanation for how Sam and Frodo treated each other

Read the comments on this for instant death

Y'all pull this “it’s friendship” stuff the second a gay kid talks about how two people of the same gender who act tenderly towards each other might be gay, as though platonic relationships are sparse in representation lmao. Like, first of all, it’s a joke, pero y’all have to be homophobic, saying shit like “stop sexualizing Sam and Frodo” like where in the world did I say anything s*xual in nature? How is “Sam and Frodo are in love” equivalent to me saying “yeah they engage in f*rnication every day all day.”?

 It really is like that huh? When two gay people are in love, it’s not our love everyone starts seeing. It’s what we do in privacy, and it doesn’t even end there! Y’all act like our intimacy as gay ppl is actually something dirty, something sinful, you know, like a fcking homophobe. Yall can’t even afford us the innocence of silly and hopeful headcanons without acting like it’s fucking nasty and we’re making friendships less valuable like how my homosexual love for my partner diminishes how I love them platonically. It was a fucking joke and a cute headcanon, but y’all had to make it homophobic. 

Breathtaking The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings illustration by Jian Guo also known as breathing2004

DUDE!!!

@musicallyinappropriate !!!

Holy shit these are fantastic

k i’m kinda curious so if you would, rb with your favorite silm character and what you think that says about you 

small fëanorians when things were pretty chill

it seems like there are only two types of silmarillion fan theories

and there’s literally no in between

@mc-dude i’m dying djbxjdnxjskd he gets back and maglor’s all like “oh my god you’re alive” and maedhros is immediately like “yes and it’s ass whooping time you kazoo playing bastard”

maedhros, years later: (jolts awake with a scream)

fingon: shh it’s okay, they can’t hurt you here

maedhros: k-kazoo

fingon: kazooglor doesn’t exist anymore, he can’t hurt you now

maedhros’ dreams: