'Jason didn't want to go to Gotham he only went because Damian went and he wanted to keep Damian safe' YES. GOOD. BUT LET ME RAISE YOU: Damian had no interest in going to Gotham, and he only went because Talia pulled the good ol' trick of 'you can only go if you take your little brother' and Jason had to drag Damian along in order to get permission.

"Fine." Talia said, crossing her arms as Jason perked up. "I will fund it, and allow permission for the league to provide assistance with whatever you need to establish a base in Gotham. But," She added, raising an eyebrow. "You have to take your brother with you. I want him to experience Gotham and train under his father's tutelage. You can only go if you take him."

Delighted, Jason grinned and spun around to stare across the room at where Damian was sat, book in hand. Damian made eye contact with him, face blank in the face of his older brother's hopefulness.

"No." He told him dryly. Jason's face collapsed.

~

"C'mon, Dames! It will be fun! We can go sightseeing!"

"I'm. Not. Going."

"But Talia said I can't go if you don't come!"

"That's not my problem. Gotham is a shithole."

"But you'll get to meet your dad."

"I've gotten this far without Bruce Wayne imposing a curfew on me, I'm not giving that up now."

"But Damian-"

"NO."

"YOU'RE SO STUBBORN."

~

eventually jason bribes/drags damian along with him and damian is just. supremely pissed off about it. he's not usually Like This, he's actually usually quite an easy-going kid; but he is not happy about being forced to play along as 'son of the bat' just so jason gets to play crime lord and kill the joker, so he's mostly acting up in an attempt to get kicked out and sent back to the league. jason gets weekly voice messages from the poor kid just angrily ranting about how ridiculous it is that they haven't reached their limit with him yet.

"first thing i did when i got there was fully insult their beloved pennyworth and then start treating everybody like they were my servant, and then last night i legitimately tried to murder tim. you know what bruce did akhi? do you? he grounded me for a weekend. like what the fu-"

-

"i stabbed one of my classmates with a fork and dick took me out for fucking ice cream and told me it was ok to struggle with adjusting like what the fuck do i have to fucking do to get sent back to nanda parbat this is ridiculous. you know tim offered to teach me how to skateboard yesterday? i publicly tried to poison him last week and he does not care. i dunno what the fuck you did to him at titans tower but that little bitch is fucking immune to people trying to kill him. i overheard him and bruce talking about giving me robin. GIVING ME ROBIN- ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?! WHY AM I BEING PROMOTED HERE? at this point i might just kill myself."

-

"Have you considered just playing happy family with them?" Jason asked him one night, during a phone call taking place while Damian was actively building a smoke bomb to set off in Dick's bedroom.

"Have you considered killing yourself and this time fucking staying there?"

"Sheesh." He snorted. "You're grumpy tonight."

"They're taking me to a fucking movie premier tomorrow. I'm gonna be on the red carpet."

"Oh shit what movie?"

"THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT."

anyway fuck damian dedicating his life to being bruce's blood son give me damian who absolutely despises everything about this and give me jason who enjoys watching his little brother suffer immensely.

Batfam Secret Santa exchange present for @jupiterliketheplanet :)

The prompt was "batfam in holiday themed suits"

AHISGDK Adorable!!! Also LOVE the design choices here very well done!! <33 And thank you for participating in this years event :DD

Fhdhhfhd thank you so much for hosting it :D

Had lots of fun participating :))

Doodle

HEYY- Happy to announce a lil event for anyone whose interested!!

A Bat fandom Secret Santa exchange :D

Anyone interested please join the discord, submission form going through some final edits, same goes for official deadline.

FORM SUBMISSION HERE!!

I think the batkids deserve to have their own personal 'loud incorrect buzzer' for whenever someone lies. Just imagine:

Dick: So last week, Dami and I went to Batburger-

Damian: *loud incorrect buzzer noise*

Dick: ??

Damian: No, we didn't.

Dick:

Dick: Oh my god okay so it was TWO WEEKS AGO-

Damian, smug: Better.

Jason, snickering: This might be our best piece of gear yet.

(on comms, patrol)

Tim: Nightwing, a robbery just past the building on your left-

Steph: *loud incorrect buzzer noise*

Tim: What??? There is!

Steph: Yeah, but it's on his right, he turned around.

Tim: ...

Tim: Spoiler I'm rapidly approaching your location.

Steph, laughing: WAIT NO

Damian, meeting Tim in the Cave: Did you even go to sleep last night?

Tim, typing at the Batcomputer: Yeah.

Dick: *loud incorrect buzzer noise*

Tim: That doesn't count. He asked if I slept not where I slept.

Dick: I don't care. You falling asleep at the Batcomputer shouldn't count.

(on comms)

Bruce: No names on the field-

Jason: *loud incorrect buzzer noise*

Bruce: ...

Tim, absolutely losing it: What's even *wheeze* what's even incorrect about that?!

Jason: Nothin', he just annoyed me.

@chaoticbatfam

lol Alfred makes a minature one that clips to his cuff links and he uses it so often that the rest of the family come to Fear it

am I still young?

can I dream for a few months more?

Pats all of them 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

big fan of theatre kid Damian. he's gotta be so dramatic on purpose and it's so funny. he'll tell Tim to kill himself over the last of the cereal but Jason implies he isn't great at english lit and suddenly Damian's world is coming to an end. the others can't even be mad at him because they can't take him seriously, he's like draco malfoy from a very potter musical.

Damian, completely serious: mE?! you think I broke this vase?

Bruce: Dick says he saw you- Damian. Damian get off the floor.

Damian, slowly laying himself out as if he's been shot: your only blood son... i hath been forsaken... what the fuck...

Bruce: Damian you're on the security cameras throwing it at Jason.

Damian, rolling around to clutch at Bruce's ankles: IS IT BECAUSE MOTHER RAISED ME AS A WEAPON? YOU DON'T LOVE ME?!

Bruce, so tired: Damian.

Jason, taking photos: I'm not even mad he threw it at me this is fucking hysterical.

Bruce: do not encourage this.

Jason: are you kidding- he grew up with me, I'm the one that taught him.

locally owned and operated 🔧

Jaybin who is less than impressed with how his and Dick’s ‘brotherly’ relationship is turning out, so when he finds little Timothy Drake stalking him on patrol with a camera he decides ‘you know what? FUCK Dick, I’LL be the big brother.’

he then proceeds to brother the fuck out of Tim behind Dick and Bruce’s back and when he dies, comes back, and finds Tim in his suit being trained and looked after by the Waynes, he isn’t mad at Tim for replacing him as Robin, but rather at Dick, for daring to steal his fucking kid.

Jason: are you shitting me?

Tim: Jason-

Jason: AFTER HOW SHIT OF A BROTHER HE WAS TO ME, AND YOU JUST LET HIM TAKE MY PLACE!?

Dick, never been more baffled in his life: how are you ali- WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU TWO ALREADY KNEW EACH OTHER??!

Tim: Jason please, Dick wasn’t replacing you-!

Jason: PLEASE, TIMMY. I SAW YOU EATING ICE CREAM TOGETHER ON THE ROOF ACROSS FROM THE MEXICAN PLACE. THAT WAS OUR THING!

Dick: what the fuck is going on

Tim: Jason, just calm down a sec, we can talk about th-

Jason: NO FUCK YOU. IM GOING BACK TO THE DESERT.

Tim, watching Jason stomp off incredulously: what the fuck are you gonna do in a desert?!

Jason, flapping his hands and still storming away: M’ GONNA GO GRAB DAMIAN AND THEN WE’LL SEE WHOSE REALLY REPLACING BROTHERS, GOT IT ASSHOLE?

Tim:

Dick:

Tim, turning to Dick after Jason’s left: who the fuck is Damian?

Dick: i literally know nothing about anything that’s happened in the last twenty minutes, why would you ask me that?

~

*at the leagues compound*

Jason: *storms in*

Ra’s: dear god, he’s back.

Jason: *flips Ra’s off and silently storms over to where Damian’s colouring on the floor*

Jason: *swings Damian over his shoulder and turns to leave, still flipping Ra’s off one-handed*

Damian, disoriented: Ahki…?

Talia, not looking up from her book: make good choices, ensure he eats well.

Jason: *leaves with Damian*

Ra’s, under his breath: oh thank fuck

do you guys think that because the all blades only come out around true evil that Jason could act as like, a metal detector for demonistic and satanitc shit? because now i’m imagining him becoming Gotham’s version of the supernatural brothers. just ghostbustering around Gotham in his spare time.

Jason’s so overworked. he has to deal with his strained relationship with the bats; Bruce and him arguing every time they see each other, Damian knocking on his door every time there’s something about his new life that he doesn’t understand/wants to complain about, Tim sneaking into his fucking apartment to demand they ‘bond’ and Dick getting weepy and nostalgic everytime he even sees Jason’s face. On top of that, taking care of the alley, and running an entire organisation of subordinates, by the time he gets to a point in his life where he realises ‘fffffuck. thats a goddamn demon and i’m the most equipped person in the city to deal with it.’ he’s honestly so over the whole thing.

he’s so bitter that he has to do this, because not only is this new side-gig tiring but it’s also fucking insane. killing rapists and overseeing drug shipments never involved travelling into nephilim lairs and learning about ancient rituals that end with him crawling out of the sewers at 9am covered in blue goo that smells acidic; the closest would be back when he was Robin during the golden era when shit was just wacko, and by the gods he does not have any interest in returning to that kind of work-load, so why he’s HERE is anybody’s fucking guess.

eventually Dick, desperate to bond with the younger brother that he can feel slipping away again, starts tailing him to figure out why he’s never around- and instantly decides to join. Jason is honestly just relieved there’s somebody lightening the supernatural workload- Dick was also Robin during the golden era, he might not have Jason’s skills and amassed knowledge but he’s not as useless as the others.

it ends up with Red Hood and Nightwing being the fucking Winchester brothers of Gotham, constantly running around under the other bats’ noses because Jason refuses to have any of those idiots get involved in his wheelhouse when they have no particular powers against anything demonistic. Dick on his own is enough of a risk, because he also has no special abilities and thus almost dies on like, every job. Jason just lets him tag along because, begrudgingly, that’s his big brother and he’s kind of enjoying how close they’re getting; not to mention Dick at least isn’t stubborn like the other bats- he will screech for Jason’s help if he knows he’s in over his head, so Jason isn’t too worried. also it’s kind of funny how indignant Bruce is about this new secret friendship his two eldest are cultivating. those two being a united front against him never works out and he is. paranoid. meanwhile the said ‘united front’ are freaking the fuck out because a possessed gargoyle is chasing them around an abandoned leisure centre and Dick lost his goddamn shoe

Bruce Wayne has a massive bounty on his head at all times, multi millions of dollars constantly hanging above him when he goes out in public. Thus, he has his own personal guard when going to galas or charity events. Is it a conflict of interest that his personal guard is made up of his children and coworkers? Probably. Does he care? No.

Socialite 1: Is that... Nightwing? In a suit?

Socialite 2: It is! Who is that next to him? Red Robin?

Dick and Tim, with blazers and sunglasses over their normal costumes, trailing after Bruce the whole night, trying not to giggle at the absurdity of watching Bruce 'Batman' Wayne nearly spill the entire punch bowl on himself:

At first, the public is concerned that a billionaire can "buy out" vigilantes, but it doesn't take long for someone to just... ask Nightwing to guard them for a night, and he agrees, not asking for payment. This eventually becomes little kids asking for Robin to 'guard them on their way to school' and folks begging Batman to 'guard their dog for the week' (Since when did The Mission become pet sitting???) (Obviously, he agrees, tho the little yippy pomeranian gets taken to Wayne Manor for the week instead, and Ace gets a temporary new friend)

A hotline gets set up so that anyone who feels unsafe can call a number and have one of the Bat Family members walk them home. It gets used a lot by drunk college students, women, and kids who stayed up past curfew.

Scared little kid, barely able to reach the payphone, using their last quarters: Um... I n-need.. Robin.. p-please.. I'm really scared... its really d-dark... my house is far away...

Damian, who is already in the area, beelining towards where the call came from: