Reblogged
THE FIVE STAGES OF LOVE
Chapter 4: Confession
It was one of those days.
One of those days that reminded Soshiro Hoshina just how fragile life was.
Reblogged theambitiouswoman
unfortunately very true. Doing Better does not always mean never being upset or never being triggered or never having trouble. often Doing Better means experiencing those things and being able to keep going/cope healthily/move on. if you’re in a bubble with no sensation, if you’re numbing yourself out, that’s not what recovering really is. it won’t help you have a happier life it’ll just make your world smaller and smaller until you can’t fit anywhere anymore. gotta learn to make peace with the hard stuff too, that’s the only way to keep going
Reblogged sweetieboo
Reblogged
wound me, oh dearest. FIN
Pairings: Soshiro Hoshina x Reader
Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Slow Romance, No Smut, Arranged Marriage, Unrequited Love, Requited Unrequited Love
Summary: Trapped in a marriage with a man who does not reciprocate your affection, you try to find meaning in your life despite your upbringing.
Word count: 2466
[Music suggestion: Leaving on a Jet Plane - John Denver]
The gravestone of the late mistress of the main Hoshina family stood tall yet humble beside the others. The scent of incense was gently blanketing the foggy air of the bamboo forest located at the most secluded area of the estate.
"It's been many years." The man gripped his sword as he knelt down. "How are ya?"
He smiled ever-so-tenderly, longing evident in the way his eyes blinked to stop his tears. His calloused hand caressed the other, as if trying to replicate the feeling of his wife's fingers. The sensation of her lips ghosted his ears, her voice ringing like bells.
"My boy," the grandmistress whispered. "Yer here again."
"What else can I do?"
The stern woman squeezed her eyes shut and let out an aged sigh.
"It was a shame she was taken away from this world so soon," she stated, her hand touching the name engraved. "Such a fine young lady, she was."
Ice suddenly grew from where you used to stand—Shinonome has thrown her last freeze grenade.
"[Surname]!" your temporary platoon leader shouted.
She lifted her machine gun and pulled the trigger. You skipped back and several times. A flurry of gunshots gave you way to escape from the proximity of the beast. The image of the Kaiju, without a warning, vanished.
It threw her a vertical hook, crushing her and her machine gun.
"Miss Shinonome!"
Abandoning your sense of reasoning, you zoomed to her, your swords trembling with your fingers.
As you ran, your speed gradually decreased and decreased. You stumbled.
"What?"
You stumbled.
You never stumble—you just did. You never lose your footing—you had.
You may get exhausted, but you never stumble. You may freeze, but you never stumble. You never ever—
You saw a shadow—something was behind you. You did not even have the chance to look—
Your back slammed to a pillar of the overpass—you left a dent.
"Officer [Surname]!" your Operations officer shouted, sobbing. "Officer [Surname], please, get out of the way!"
Tears fell from your bleeding eyes, and you felt your whole body convulsing in pain.
"Soshiro," you panted, coughing out a handful of blood. "Be safe for the both of us."
You were aware that you will soon die, crushed by the knuckles of the humanoid Kaiju standing before you. You were aware that a flick of its finger could easily break you in half. You were aware that your trembling hands could never hold your swords properly anymore. You were aware that your life was as insignificant as an insect crawling around to survive. You were aware that your prior conversation would probably be the last.
You were aware, of all things, that you were not prepared to die yet.
Dread grew in the hearts of the two Hoshina's while the wind blew eerily gentle. It extinguished the burning hope inside, terror steadily growing.
"She would've loved [Name]," your father-in-law said.
For that, your grandmother-in-law agreed.
The skies were in its most brightest, yet everything felt but. The old man wished for the best, but the churning of his stomach told him that the absolute worst was approaching.
"Guide our children, my most beloved," he pleaded. "Soichiro, Soshiro, and [Name]."
Cheers have erupted from the mouths of every single person in Japan. From the civilians to the ones behind the screens directing the defense force to the officers themselves. They cried in utter joy and relief, all because Kafka Hibino has triumphantly subjugated the largest threats, which were the Kaiju Number Nine and the Meireki Mega Monster. Although there have been countless casualties, the ones who were still alive were now safe.
Paramedics flooded the scenes, ensuring that they could save those who are still breathing. Letting them care for other officers first, Soshiro sat down on top of the rubble, feeling all the loss of blood catching up to him at last. On top of his bent knees, he placed his forearms, and he slouched.
"Okonogi, dear, how's she?" he sighed.
There was a pause from the Operations Leader's end.
"Unfortunately, there hasn't been any updates."
"Can ya..." He gulped an aching lungful of air. "...redirect me?"
"Roger."
Taking off his mask, he inhaled the air filled with pollutants—dust, soil, blood, sweat, carcasses. How he wished it was your hair he was smelling instead.
"[Name]?" he called, thistone hopeful yet afraid.
There were no responses from you.
Why were you not responding?
He was calling your name, so why were you not saying anything back?
"[Name]?" he said again, this time more distressed.
Again, you were silent.
Could you be de—
No.
You could not be dead.
You were too strong to die because of a Kaiju. You were too quick to die because of a Kaiju. You were too skilled to die because of a Kaiju. You were too young to die because of a Kaiju. You were too precious to die because of Kaiju.
You could not die.
You could not leave him alone. You could not leave him alone. He would not be able to take it. He would not be able to live the days without you—not when you were finally connecting. He would not be able to sleep the nights alone now that he has learned how you felt. He would not be able to eat. He would not be able to live. He would not be able to exist.
Not without you.
Oh, gods, not without you.
"Hey, [Name]," he choked.
He wanted to hear your voice. He wanted to hear your answer. He wanted to hear you say his name. He wanted to hear you at least breathe.
Damn it.
Damn it all.
Damn i—
"She is...sleeping?"
"Huh?"
"Officer [Surname] is currently sleeping, Vice Captain Hoshina," your appointed Operations Officer, whose sobs have long died down, clarified her words. "She's safe."
She felt tense with your husband's attention all on her.
"That so?" he whispered, but his words were still full of uncertainty.
Feeling the sudden need to explain herself, albeit unaware of the reason for her to say and for your husband to know—it simply felt right—she added, "She has the unconscious tendency to sleep after a rigorous activity, and whenever she's done with the evening training, she would lie down on the floor and sleep."
"How come ya know?"
"It was a behavior we've observed during the course of almost three months."
Kaiju Number Ten, who felt every single, swift change in his user's body directly, became confused.
"Hey, Hoshina," it said.
"Shut up for a moment."
His eyes watered as he let out a breath that he held onto so hard. His shoulders shook, tears accumulating and dripping from his fatigued eyes—it dissolved the dried blood. He slowly laughed to mask his voice breaking while his throat tightened uncomfortably.
"Why the heck would someone sleep on the battlefield?" he asked himself, hiccups attempting to squeeze in between the words. "How could someone even sleep there to begin with?"
He looked up at the sky, sniffling. He grunted, not sure whether to be frustrated at this reckless act you have done or at his own lack of knowledge about your habits.
"Ya really sure my wife's alive?"
"Eh?"
Ah, his tongue slipped.
It has only been a week after the major catastrophe, and during those days, you have spent all your time sleeping and recovering. During those days, also, you have not seen your husband ever visiting you.
"Don't you have fever?" you asked. "Why'd you push yourself so hard and visit me, father?"
Lying on the bed, you watched your father-in-law make himself comfortable on the metal chair provided by one of the nurses last-minute.
"I ain't that weak yet, so don't treat me that way," your father-in-law said. "How are your injuries?"
"It's," you trailed off, yawning. "It's ideal."
"Where's Soshiro?"
"Working."
He shook his head disapprovingly and sighed.
"Can't he rest?"
Well, he would not be the Third Division Captain if he has not been as workaholic as he was.
You have learned from the nurses—you did not know why they were telling you directly about your husband's status—that he was discharged a day sooner than you, and instead of resting, he was working—of course—on the restoration of his Numbers Weapon. Apparently, the lack of Number Ten's tail reduced its performance.
You were not quite sure it was the actual reason for your husband to ask Izumo Corporations to repair its tail; if you remember things correctly, you have once mentioned that you really liked it.
"Yeah, can't he?"
The flap of the tent that acted as temporary infirmary opened carelessly. Soichiro's head popped up, his hands grasping a basket of apples. When you took a look at it, you realized that it was from that tree back in the Hoshina estate.
"Done with the cell test, fin—man, ya look terrible," he commented.
He was correct in the sense that you almost appeared like a cat wrapped in a tissue roll. Despite your rapidly healing wounds, the nurses insisted in having you bandaged from head to toe.
With your eye twitching, you shot back, "You look...yourself."
"What that mean?"
He put down the basket on the bedside table and pinched both of your cheeks.
Hearing you hiss in pain, your father-in-law reprimanded him by stating, "Stop botherin' her, would ya?"
"Father and his favoritism."
"It ain't favoritism," the old man immediately defended himself.
Soichiro playfully rolled his eyes, his irritation being nothing but a hoax.
"Ninety-six, huh?" He massaged your now swollen cheeks. "Ya gonna be a captain?"
You smiled and replied, "I don't know yet."
Letting time pass with your husband's family—your family as well—the skies have darkened, revealing a crescent. They soon left, leaving with the promise of another visit.
The air, for an unknown reason—which you learned quickly—shifted. The temperature around you dropped, and you heard whispers.
A ghost? A monster of the night?
"[Surname], you traitor," the voice said repeatedly. "You traitor."
You looked around, searching the sound, but you could see no one. Your heart thrummed, before its beat turned rapid.
"Was it true?"
The ghost showed its hollow face to yo—
Oh, it's Captain Narumi.
"Was it fucking true?!"
"What is?"
He grabbed and pulled on your ankle, as if he was trying to drag you down to the deepest pits of hell.
"You married that bowl cut?!"
Where did he even learn that?
Seriously, how come every single person who has come inside and exited the tent you were in seemed to know that you were married with the vice captain of the Third Division? Since when have they known, and who was the loose-mouthed jackass who revealed it?
"Captain Narumi, let go of my leg," you groaned in slight pain.
"Answer the question!" he whined. "You've betrayed me, [Surname]! You've betrayed me!"
He tugged again.
Shit, it hurt.
"Let go of my leg, you dimwit!" you shouted back.
His grip around your poor leg has finally loosened. You thanked the stars above while watching him becoming limp on the tent floor—
Then, the motherfucker thrashed around, kicking and punching the air.
"He influenced you, didn't he?!" he shouted, louder this time. "My pride and joy! You're my pride and joy!"
Covering your ears, you glared at the captain spinning on the floor like a toy top.
"Ain't ya havin' a li'l too much fun?" another man said.
The captain halted. He shot up, now standing with his tipped toes. He pointed an index finger to the other man—your husband—and shrieked, "You, shut up!"
"Being this loud this late? My goodness, Captain Narumi. Yer provin' Captain Ashiro correct," he taunted, pertaining to that time during the last Inter-Division Conference.
"I said, shut up!" He snapped his head to you. "Why d'ya marry him of all people?!"
"It's not even my choice to marry him!" you said.
"[Name]?" Soshiro gasped—a real one—before trying to touch your shoulder. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Feeling a clap of headache approaching, you stared at your husband.
Wait a minute.
He—
He told them.
He was the one who told whoever-they-were that you were married with him.
"Dearest?" Soshiro asked.
Narumi comically gagged on the floor, finding the display of softness from his rival utterly abhorrent.
"Ew, ew, ew, ew!"
A large female nurse opened the tent, forcefully grabbing the two higher-ups by the collar.
"You two, out!"
The warm water on the tub has turned lukewarm, yet you did not feel the slightest of cold.
It has been a month after your discharge, and you have returned to your original division—not before prying Captain Narumi off of your ankles. You have been appointed as a platoon leader, deciding that the workload of a captain is not for you. Since the admission has yet to happen—and you, like Ichikawa, do not have officers of your own yet—you were sometimes asked to train the already established squads.
After careful considerations, or what Captain Ashiro calls her barely hidden excitement after her vice requested for a one-day leave with you, you and your husband was permitted to have a rest day. However, being the boring grown-ups—Furuhashi's words—that you two were, you spent your free day inside your house.
Currently, your bare back was flush against his chest while the two of you settled on the bath tub. It was the first time that you shared spaces with someone this near, and it was safe to say that your personal space and his own were undoubtedly nonexistent. His arms rested on the rim of the tub, his fingers occasionally running over yours. His head was leaning sideways on the wall, and his legs were surrounding you. He fixed his position, ensuring that your legs were well extended.
Wealthy clan equals good bathtub, after all.
"Soshiro," you muttered, yet your voice resonated.
You touched his arm and took one of his hands. You played around with his fingers, admiring how slender every single one was.
"Yeah?"
"I'm just trying to determine if this was true."
"What is?"
"You."
It felt like it was yesterday when he still never returned your far softer gaze, and being this close to him has used to be nothing but a dream. Everything seemed to be an illusion. They were too good to be true.
"Why wouldn't it be?"
He shifted, and then, he nestled into the crook of your neck. Planting delicate kisses on the area, he listened to you intently. His palms made their way into your inner thighs, separating the two better.
"I don't know," you said.
"Ya don't know?"
"Mhm."
He opened his mouth, and with his fangs, he lightly bit you.
"I've returned yer name to what's official."
"[Name] Hoshina?" you asked, sighing.
"[Name] Hoshina," he confirmed.
Tag section: @hanginginthevoid @perfectprofessorloverapricot @gyujaehyun @96jnie @hana-patata @insomniacxin @night-shadowblood-writes2 @m3ldy @imafangirlofeverything @swivi @fufycse-blog @ssolariiss @idk-bro-gay @kumori-suwan @hheerrmmiitt @purplefluffycows @holaaaf @tatsuomii @tanchosanke @friendlyspacemartian @ventilmn @simpsimpshrimp @chuuberrysworld @fandomtrashpandasposts @mushy-mushroom04 @kewpiemeayo @littlepenguinheart @heichoucleanfreak @ayuqi @redtaytan @akaotv @chocomaltz @melodic-cats @kaminabbygirl @fckwritersblock @lovelyleanie @treeguzzler @faetoraa
Author's note:
I like messing around, and I was so happy that you were terrified that I was gonna kill her. To those who unintentionally gave me the idea of killing [Name], I thank you all for that. Just sharing, but whenever I look at Kafka and Mina, I imagine "Two Birds" by Regina Specter playing.
Welp let's go back to the topic at hand. Erm, the series is done! In all honesty, I was actually planning to end this somewhere around chapter six, where [Name] almost died, and, you know, kill her. However, I was in a good mood and decided to lengthen it. Before I knew it, I was already fifteen chapters deep. Haha, thank you for all the support. I think I might try expanding the universe, but to those who are hoping, no, I'm not giving them children. You can imagine the scenes; I'm not writing them. I don't like pregnancy-centered or children-centered stories. Why? That is a secret that would likely involve Karen Horney's theory. Again, thank you for the likes/kudos, silent readers, and to those comments I love rereading. If I were to write for this fandom again, I'd probably do a dark psychological one. Not yandere, never.
For those from Brave Citizen fandom wondering where the heck is "skinner and the rat.", I deleted it. You see, I misunderstood the concept of the use of reinforcement and punishment in B. F. Skinner's theory, and I'll be damned before I continue with that knowledge now in mind.
Reblogged ominous-meme
late night reminder to self: your depressive episode will not last forever. it will have an end. tonight will not be the end of you.
burgundy-forest-deactivated2024
Hey guess what i saw this a few days ago when i was in an absolutely scary slump and then i spoke to my counsellors and did what they told me to do and now i feel so much better. So this is true. Reblogging for more good luck
Playing Pacific Drive, had a really down day, and figured I should finish the game before my various health problems kill me. I log in and go to the beeping fax machine in the game, and...this.
