PRAISE THE OMNISIAH! ABOMINABLE INTELLIGENCE IS BANNED!!

hold on let me google something

what the fuck

happy Boston Molasses Flood to all who celebrate

‘Jesus’ comes from a shortening of the Hebrew version of the name Joshua, while ‘Christ’ simply means ‘the anointed one.’ To make this clearer to modern Christians, I propose a new Bible translation where Jesus is referred to only as “oily Josh”

Trying to inflict psychic damage to a tumblr user is like trying to irradiate a cockroach, like it can be done, but the lethal dose is not safe for humans either

Besides the point, but you could always try physical damage?

You’re right Gomez, bring me the flail

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow

I was going to post this tomorrow, because it has been a long day, but after watching yet another meltdown on another website that could have been avoided, I feel the need to bestrow the one piece of advice you need to function online.

You need to fucking block people.

I mean it. Shithead in your comments? Block them. Someone with an annoying fandom opinion? Block them. Guy cluttering up the tags with a weird crossover idea? Block all of them.

Anti-block culture is a fucking conspiracy designed to make you a target of harassment. Block people for any reason whatsoever. If you're worried about hurting someone's feelings, you can always unblock them later. Mute posts if you can't bring yourself to block someone, but you must be willing and able to disengage from bullshit that threatens to suck you in.

No one is entitled to see your shit. Turn those privacy settings and trim your feeds of constant annoyances. It's not about them, it's about your comfort. You've gotta make your online spaces a place you want to be in, and blocking people will help.

My favorite Jewish fun fact is that in some interpretation, the afterlife is described as a washing machine so I think of literally just

Les Misérables (2012) - Daniel Huttlestone as Gavroche “Think you’re poor? Think you’re free? Follow me, follow me!“ 

do you ever think about how if you dive into the ocean and go deeper and deeper you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light, and if you go up into the sky and go higher and higher you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light

sometimes a post makes you get out of bed at 230am to spend a quick hour on something like this

THATS WHAT IM SAYYYINNNGGGGG

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

This getting reblogged with “and my thirties” “and my forties” “and my fifties”

Woof okay hello and happy belated New Years friends! I'm finally through all of my training for my job and now I can finally breathe a little and be social again. I've missed y'all!

Please enjoy these offerings and I thank you once again for your kind support. I hope you all got to enjoy the holidays as much as possible. I know things are hard right now, just know I'm thinking of you.

via r/risa

LOL someone tried to Blaze this post (excellent idea, btw) and Tumblr rejected it for being sexually explicit.

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

maybe if your intro post literally identifies you as a transphobe don't post in the band tag 💀

funniest childhood memories to look back on are always hands-down the kink formation ones. hey, little me, do you want to explain to anyone why you’re watching the jungle book 2 for the 40th time this week. it’s not even a good movie. would you please stop staring at that snake.

it’s a very distinct sort of feeling as opposed to developing a kink as an adult, when you’ve got a full understanding of kinks and sex and all that. when you’re an adult, you either react with ‘hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me’ or perhaps ‘yayyy yippeee yayyyy’ about figuring something out that you like. but when you’re a kid you go :) wow! i sure do enjoy rewatching the scenes where my favorite characters get depowered and left helpless at their enemy’s feet! i’m sure that’s normal! (Omnipotent Narrator Voice) It Was Not, In Fact, Normal.

it is lowkey v funny that we started saying “we have got to get regular porn back on this website” bc it’s not wrong but also when we had “regular” porn on this website in 2014 people were still hornyposting box.gif and the weirdfruit.gif

tumblr users simply have the magic ability to find porn in the most mundane of places

real tumblr veterans remember horny blorbo posting with these gifs