bell-bell

your fave bulimic jirai

Pinned

-`ღ´-

Hi !!!

You can call me Bell! I'm a 2o year old mentally ill jirai girl who likes manga, anime, TV shows, true crime documentaries and a lot more things !!!

I love plushies, hot drinks, sweet things and skirts. I also love using pet names!! (I use those quite a lot so if it makes you uncomfortable just tell me and I'll stop!)

Interests include NANA, BSD, TWST, Alien Stage, Sanrio, Chiikawa, Onegai My Melody, JJK, AIB, Nevermore, Edgar Allan Poe stories, etc

Have in mind that I'm AUDHD and suffer from quiet BPD and DPD, so moodswings and splitting are prone to happen, sorry about that

TW: THIS IS A JIRAI BLOG. IT CONTAINS SELF HARM, EATING DISORDERS, PAST RAPE, SUICIDAL IDEATION, PSYCHOTIC SYMPTOMS AND MANY MORE ISSUES MENTIONS. SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK

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my way of thinking constantly changes between "it's okay I accept it" and "it makes me physically sick"

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It seems I remembered that ACTUALLY POSTING

and INTERACTING WITH OTHER JIRAIS

Gets you notes!

Who knew!?

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I WANNA BE FAMOUS I WANNA BE LOVED I WANNA BE WORSHIPPED ITS NOT FAIRR GIVE ME ANONS NOWW!! AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH? DO I HAVE TO HAVE A 'AESTHETIC LAYOUT?' WHEN I SEE A BITCH WITH A BUNCH OF ANONS I WANNA RIP HER FACE OFF HER FUCKING SKULL

just give me a smidge of attention im a desperate pathetic crybaby and ill DIE if you don't fucking pay attention to me /srs

️️⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔

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"jirai kei is glorifying sh!!!" tell me you don't know what you're talking about without telling me.

jirais aren't actively telling anyone to go do the hardest drvgs and throw themselves into the most self destructive whirlpool ever. jirais want an outlet to express emotional vulnerability. that could mean they wanna get better, stay the same, or even get worse. not watch OTHER people get worse, they THEMSELVES. that's literally it.

and hot take? this is just another example of people disliking the "unmanageable" parts of mental health.

not everyone wants to get better, but that doesn't inherently make them a bad person. they, at the end of the day, are also still suffering, and their coping with it in ways YOU deem acceptable, and that's not fair to ANY of us.

judging how people cope with their issues, whether it be cvtting, or drvgs, or age regressing, or st@rving, or getting better, or getting worse, it's forcing people into a linear road of recovery when it's not that SIMPLE.

relapses HAPPEN, regression HAPPENS, all the unconventional things about mental health and recovery that YOU don't want to acknowledges STILL HAPPENS. it doesn't just go away because you can't romanticize it.

people dismissing coping mechanisms, regardless if their healthy or unhealthy, only proves to me that people only care about mental health when they can be someone's "savior".

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sicklysweetlylove

If my thighs don't become thinner in the next month I'm going to cut them open and take the fat out myself

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"don't let things people say get to you!!" No I want too, I want to feel bad. thanks.

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One second I'm self loathing like im ugly and useless and stupid and then the next I'm the most perfect prettiest smarter talented diva on the planet

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I wish I wasn't such a loser

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i wish i was hot and my parents didnt care so i could get away with scars

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i need someone to match my freak 😔

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School is just so borrring I wish I could just do nothing all day and never leave my room

Everyone is looking at me. The room is crowded everyone is talking too loud and moving too fast and I'm here and they're looking at me, they think im pathetic they are asking themselves what am I doing here. I don't belong here I should go and kill myself

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1s-acatg1rl asked:

HIHIHI belel beelll bellll mama bell

How are you doing I ate uhrhrhrh pineapple tarts and pudding life has become good again!!!!

cutiiecut answered:

Hihi my dear!! OWW PUDDING IS SOO GOOD I LOVE PUDDING !!! I'm omw to an exam rn... im very nervous (≧ヘ≦)

GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK I HOPE YOU GET A HIGH SCORE!!!!

Seeing everyone talking and getting along feels so weird when you're all alone... am I really that weird

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DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME.. PLEASE.. DON'T LEAVE ME.. HURTS..

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Cvtting....... I love slash slash♡♡ I love the sting. I love the pain it makes me feel peaceful it makes me happy when I go deep♡♡

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