I reek of selfishness.

Withering the flowers I pass,

With shame written on my face.

Angry veins,

And bloody knives,

I keep falling back into the same places without any time.

I reek of disgust,

I reek of death,

I reek of the devil wanting to get into my flesh...

A venom filled mind

A venom filled soul

One ounce of happiness

And it's a K.O to the soul

One man's luck,

Is one man's despair

Playing tricks

Instead of talking man to man.

I am made of flesh and bones.

Deteriorating every second.

I suffocate anger

While I breathe fire.

Over and over.

It becomes unbearable to breathe

When all I feel is sickness within my reach..

Your fragrance keeps bringing me back

To a past, to a state of mind

I constantly leave behind

But to no avail...

You keep coming back again and again.

One tear, then another, then an avalanche befalls

You open wounds I had left scarred as a reminder.

You keep ripping them open.

Leaving me to bleed

In the puddle of my own agony.

03.05.2025

I'm sorry.

2 words.

But they don't mean much

When one's suffering more than the other.

I am sorry.

3 words.

Both heartwarming yet cold.

The same words,

Repeated.

And it keeps getting old...

My dear,

You were once so sweet

A sweetness I could devour

In the guilt surrounded by shadows

But now the stains have become permanent

Left to rot in the shadows I wanted to hide

My dear,

How could you do this to me?

Looking at you now, all I can taste is bittersweet tragedy.

I sat on the swings today.

I swayed.

I swayed.

Until the sky turned gray.

I know my departure is on the way

But I don't know when or how

I need to learn how to live to figure it out.

I hate who I used to be.

I hate who I used to be.

I hate who I used to be.

And some days I'm afraid of falling back into the same abyss that I saved myself from.

I don't like me

I don't like me.

I don't like me.

But I'd take this version of me over the old me if it meant I'll get to heal properly.

[I've fallen down, but I'll rise above this]

I hate who I used to be.

People loved me.

People would befriend me.

People would listen

Because I was another puppet controlled by society.

The moment I broke free

It all made sense to me.

That nobody loves those who pick apart the pieces of their shattered hearts

And glue them back together

Or those who sew their pieces together

To reveal the monster, they kept locking in the dark.

[And that's when I learned that being was never meant for me.]

I try to let you go

But I keep seeing your face in the faces of the unknown

A ding and I know

Another heart, another red

For the art I make of you

They all seem to love you

While I'm fascinated by you

And I keep believing that you might be the one

As I see the numbers growing higher

But I know that you're gone forever.

I took your heart

And broke it into pieces

Because I wanted you to be like me.

And understand the pain that came with [this shattered] reality.

I'm sorry for the way I am.

I never meant to be so cold.

Today, I bumped on someone

That looked just like you

Another you, or another version of you

He smiled and I apologized

My heart was vibrating to the sound of the music

And my mind dancing at the thought of you

And I guess that just made my day..

Knowing you're still out there somewhere

Even after you've gone away..

There a riot inside my mind

Telling me that I'll never be fine

Losing but gaining

My flesh keeps burning

Polar extremities

Similar catastrophes

It feels like I'll never be able to leave.

Can I please burn this flesh of mine?

Reconstruct myself

Before I'm out of time?

I don't know how to live

Yet I know all the ways to die..

Is this the route I need to take in order to achieve paradise?

Two-sided, out of fear of living in reality

Since it means being tainted by agony

Drugged with dopamine

Thinking your life is more valuable than mine

Or those who suffer the outcome of your weak chosen actions

Taking the blaming route for fear of your caused destruction

But whether you believe it or not,

You are a [...] monster.

[Somebody special just lives in fear, somebody speacial is in love with molly]

Took it all for granted

Some days I feel like this is the price I pay

For wanting to end it.

Even with you gone,

It's always you that I end up thinking about

Even if there is no emotion

Or any sensation

It seems to be you by nature.