I hate Justin McElroy for validating my lifelong fear of invisible ocean creatures in my pool with the ‘glass shark’ bit, because now every time I am in ANY body of water I have to act like I’m not afraid of Glass Shark so it can’t smell my very real fear
forms, especially complicated ones like villanelles and sestinas, are just poetic bondage
this was a shitpost, of course, but it was a sincere shitpost: the eroticism of bondage for me is, in part, the tension of asking to be bound, of desiring that constraint and working within its confines towards an outcome* that might appear to be at odds with the way the act looks. Then: Agha Shahid Ali on the ghazal:
…once a poet establishes the scheme–with total freedom, I might add–she or he becomes its slave. What results in the rest of the poem is the alluring tension of a slave trying to master the master.
The allure of a hyper-constrained form like the sestina, the sonnet, the villanelle, or the ghazal** is that the poet is working in a mode that is pre-defined, hemmed in, its wings clipped by the form itself, and forcing the poem, moulded by those constraints, to say something new, something that means something to the poet and to their audience – to express new thoughts with old forms. that is, the meaning of the poem is in tension with its form. it takes meaning from the form and from the tension.
this is just what juvenile siblings are like when they're being loosely social
It is still wild to me that I legitimately have to research in a bikini in order to effectively collect data.
And the reason being is that people (of all genders equally) perceive me as a threat otherwise.
Like
Threat vs not a threat
People have said before that they are concerned I’m gonna get them in trouble, but I think the real reason folks get mean is that tourists effectively enter a liminal space when they go on vacations (especially American tourists on tropical vacations) and they don’t want anything to pull them out of that mindset.
So when I show up with a clipboard and wanting to talk while wearing an outfit that clearly says “I’m working, but not in any sort of position that exists in your vacation fantasy,” that pulls them out of the fantasy and they react negatively.
Meanwhile, if I’m dressed the same way everyone else is, even if I have a clipboard and want to talk about the same thing, I automatically become a wacky NPC who is part of the fantasy.
I no longer hear “It’s really weird that you’re just out here watching people” but instead “You get to lay on the beach all day and call it “work?” Hell yeah! Living the dream!”
Yes I study raccoons. The critically endangered pygmy raccoons like to live at beach clubs. My current study is looking at interactions between tourists and/or tourism industry staff and the raccoons.
Surely this is just environmental camouflage that let's you get closer to your subjects?
It's just as valid as when wildlife photographers cover themselves in netting with twigs and leaves attached or hide inside a fake rock right?
Yeah, this is Mama, a full grown pygmy raccoon. They are a completely separate species than common raccoons. Their scientific name is Procyon pygmaeus and they are a critically endangered species. There are only around 120 left in the world and they are only found in the island of Cozumel in Mexico. I, tumblr user raccoonmilf and the creator of Dashcon, am the only United States citizen legally allowed to research them. I am currently studying how pygmy raccoons are impacted by direct human activity within the tourism industry.
Are you also the one who is allowed to keep a racoon at home, and set them loose to help with cleaning?
Yes, that is me. Those are a different species of raccoons, though. The raccoons in my home are common raccoons (Procyon lotor).
how it all feels lately
yeah actually this was a very literal piece of vent art bc i got a notification about cheese recalls while making dinner :') might as well add the info since i didnt expect so many people to share my doodle
Max Frey - Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Menschen nicht vergebens, 1927
Nimoy was hilarious when doing spot on impressions of Shatner's Kirk. I once saw him deliver Shatner's overly emoted "His soul was the most human" line from TWOK that had the entire theater roaring with laughter.
a new trend
just woke up from an insane migraine dream where instead of shaking hands you were supposed to hold out a small wet cube of firm jelly between your thumb and forefinger and make the other person touch it. it is a really good thing i am not the abbess of a 13th century nunnery bc what kind of things i'd be interpreting as a sign from god are anyone's guess
Me for the last 15 years: Starting a timer when you have to wait for something or stand in line can be helpful, because no matter how impatient you feel you can check the timer and remind yourself it has not been several eternities and has in fact only been five minutes.
Me setting a timer when I got to bag claim just now: I'm so clever! I will now be reminded that it's only been five minutes and bag claim usually takes about twenty!
Me looking at the timer thoughtfully: ...another Very Neurotypical Moment With Sam, it appears.
FTR it was 17 minutes from "arriving at the bag claim" to claiming my bag, so right on time.
Someone tagged this post "#it’s all fun n games until baggage check takes over an hour" which is 100% legit; a common sentiment in notes is that sometimes you don't want to know how long something has taken. But that is one of the reasons I started doing the stopwatch thing in the first place!
On the one hand, timing something is about reminding myself "No, it's only been five minutes," but it is ALSO about knowing when something is taking way longer than it should.
If I'm put into an exam room in a doctor's office, I start a timer. Because I have been forgotten about in a doctor's office before, I get nervous that I'll just be sat in there forever, and the timer tells me "No, they haven't forgotten you, it's only been 10 minutes." But it also tells me if I have been there longer than appropriate (generally more than 40 minutes) so that I know when it's justifiable to flag down a nurse to find out what's going on.
At bag claim, because I know it usually takes about 20 minutes to get my bag, I don't get concerned until the timer passes the 20 minute mark without any bags appearing. At that point I know I need to take off my headphones and start paying attention -- looking at signage, maybe asking someone if I'm at the right carousel. Maybe don't worry yet, but start double-checking. Perhaps the delay is unavoidable and it'll just be an hour, but at least, having asked, I KNOW it'll be an hour, and the timer will tell me when the hour is past and I should maybe check in again.
Now, if the bags do start showing up before 20 minutes but my bag hasn't shown up by the 40 minute mark, I know that again it's time to put my head on a swivel, and at the 50 minute mark it's time to go speak to someone in the baggage claim office. This has more than once helped me locate my bag when it's accidentally been sent to the wrong part of the airport. There is no point at which, without the timer, I would go "man this is taking a long time" and then actually go ask, because I wouldn't actually know how long it had been.
The timer both prevents me from worrying before I need to and tells me when to start worrying -- essentially, because I'm both perpetually impatient and also infinitely patient, I've outsourced my patience to a stopwatch. And because I time a lot of things, I now know the average time a lot of things take, which helps me calibrate my concerns appropriately. Ten minutes is a long time to wait for a burger from McDonalds, but it's actually on the short end of the time it takes to get a burger from Shake Shack. It's not a long time to be on hold with the HR office of my old employer, but it's longer than I'd usually be on hold with my pharmacy. Et cetera.
I know I say this all the time but I still find it hilarious that I didn't know I had ADHD until I was forty years old.
just want to add that I've started timing myself doing everyday chores and tasks and having a more realistic, personalized idea of how long things take has helped a lot with my time blindness.
I only just started, and it's not yet habitual, so there's only a small bit of info, but it's already made it easier to avoid rushing or getting stuck in waiting mode because it takes out a lot of the guesswork.
And it lets me have grace for myself when something is really taking it out of me. I'm right, this *is* taking forever and it isn't usually this hard, so what's going on? Do I need to rest? Eat? Did I forget my meds? Am I overwhelmed? Etc.
I feel like a scientist gathering and applying data.
Showers on typical days only take "about ten minutes" (me, 2025), therefore, I CAN shower before my appointment that's two hours away.
Contrary to popular belief, doing a quick tidy takes "less than half an hour" (me, 2026) and will not take the better part of a day. I don't need to dread or put it off because I can start a 20min episode and I'll be done before the credits roll.
The proposed estimate of "10-30 miserable minutes in the cold when the warm blankets are right there" (time blindness and depression, 2024), is erroneous, and based on pre-medicated data. As tempting as it is to go straight back to bed after peeing, my research shows that brushing teeth, including "prep and cleanup," rarely takes more than four minutes and may even improve morale and momentum when getting up for the day.
This is awesome and hey guess what: you ARE a scientist gathering and applying data!
I'm super proud of you and everyone who is working to keep their lives together in the face of disability and the general horrors of the world right now. Keep up the great work! And if things slip a little that's ok too. None of us are perfect. Just keep taking notes...for SCIENCE!
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
