”there was a time in my life where if there was a heaven i would’ve set fire to it” -Hozier on some random sunday afternoon

I like when people like a character so way too much that it transcends even self shipping or kinning and becomes more of a patron saint that you pray to type of deal

"patron saint" stop using catholic figures in a blasphemous way! it's disrespectful to catholics.

youve made me very happy by saying this

you...enjoy being disrespectful to catholics?

tbh insane to me this post is from this year. feels like it's from an era long since past

The hardcore way to eat ramen: 1. Boil water 2. Eat block of ramen 3. Drink boiled water 4. Snort flavored powder 5. Fuck bitches

you looking for this my friend?

why is there a gif for this

You are not "three apples tall" bitch you are an evil ghoul and you are tall as fuck

I just want to get dicked down again =/

I can't tell you the looks i got when I told people that instead of continuing to write YA novels that sold a lot of copies, I was going to write a series of small essays reviewing facets of human experience on a five-star scale.

And so I have to confess it is extremely meaningful to me that The Anthropocene Reviewed has not just hung around but found a growing audience, so much so that it will re-enter the New York Times bestseller list next week, four years after its initial publication.

Thanks to everyone who has kept that little book alive even as it becomes progressively less timely. What a joy.

WHAT IM THE HELL IS THAT

Here I made a diagram to show the issues here

Oh, that's Martin. He's a lookalike who usually works at Babette's, by appointment only so you won't see him in the common areas. For a price, he'll dress like that and you can either fuck him to ruination or have him entertain you courteously at a private dinner. Like Silco himself he's not fussy about what he actually does for the money, though he likes to alternate his two main types of client.

Martin's worst ever appointment was a year before Act 2. He was still showering when he heard the client come into the room early, which was annoying. Babette was usually more professional than that and hadn't even briefed him. "Put the money on the dresser, I'll be right out" he called in his normal voice. "D'you want the boyfriend or the fucktoy?"

Coins clinked heavily on a surface, but there was no reply. Martin finished showering, resentful at having to hurry, and put the red contact lens in. "Come out as you are" said a dry, unamused voice.

Martin threw on the smart red clothes that he thought of as his work uniform, and applied a hasty swirl of dark makeup across his left cheek. He'd found most new clients preferred the scar to be small and inconspicuous. He stepped out of the bathroom and put on the seductive-commanding tone he used in character. "Now, sweetheart, what can I -" And froze.

The scar on the face of the man looking at him wasn't inconspicuous at all. It was a horror. The whole face was lined and cynical, another scar on the upper lip, the expression was forbidding, and the red eye burned with hate. "-do for you, Sir." Martin tailed off weakly in his normal voice.

"You dress as me for money" said Silco coldly.

Martin pulled himself together. "People like it" he explained. "They know I'm not you but they want it - because they respect you."

One of Silco's thin eyebrows rose sardonically.

"I'll stop if you want me to, Sir."

"Of course you would" said Silco thoughtfully, and the way he said it made Martin think of bodies sinking under dark water. He swallowed. "But I merely require a regular list of the names of your clients. You can deliver it to Sevika monthly."

Martin tried to say that Babette would scourge him alive for breaking confidentiality like that, but he found himself agreeing. He didn't think Silco would bother with the alive bit.

Silco stood up to go. "A pleasure to meet you, Sir" Martin quavered. "Uh. You have the full hour if you'd like me to -"

Silco ignored him and swept out into the common area. A few seconds later, Martin heard his voice rise in shock. "What. In Runeterra. Is that?"

"Just a worker with blue pigtails, Sir" Babette said, loudly and hastily so the whole brothel heard the instruction. "She's new, she's figuring out her style -"

"Have her figure out a different one" said Silco heavily, and left.

ok gays i made Malay AU because i can.

silco may be a kingpin but he’s also the imam for tarawih during ramadhan. he brings Jinx along but she spends the nights playing firecrackers outside (yknow childhood memories when the adults were praying and we kids play firecrackers and shooting slippers out, yea) idk just bear w me here

good morning!!

They would not go on cute dates and raise children, they would punch each other in the throat and have bad sex on the couch.

Vander: I've always liked the name Violet. Silco: *snorts a line* Hey, you know what I like?

Silco and his terror of a daughter

Here's a sketcharoo for my one and only @ink-and-dagger. <3