(to the tune of No one Mourns the Wicked)
Sunrise on the reaping!
BAD NEWS!

People just watching the movie for the first time: Glinda and Elphie are so gay for each other
Long time fans of wicked: Glinda and Elphie are so gay for each other
The actors who have played Glinda or Elphaba: Glinda and Elphie are so gay for each other
Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo specifically: Glinda and Elphie are so gay for each other
Gregory Maguire himself: Glinda and Elphie are so gay for each other
Every person ever to work on Wicked book movie or musical: Glinda and Elphie are so gay for each other
Some people who are very in denial: they’re friendship is so straight and pure
honestly funniest part of the wicked movie was the wizard is like "huh i need to think extremely fast to convince elphaba to stay here" and his way to do that is "invite glinda to live here as well." like this man is from the late 1800s-early 1900s so he's not gonna outright say "i'll legalize gay marriage" (yet) but he can say "your friend ;) can stay here too"
"Glinda Upland is a lesbian" I say into the mic.
The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.
"They're right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 2nd row stands: Ariana Grande.
What do you mean the iconic witch hat was born from Glinda's spite and cruelty but became a symbol of her willingness to stand by Elphaba even if it ostracized her from her friends and peers? What do you mean the witch's broom is an item enchanted in a moment of panic and innovation as Elphaba refuses to be cowed and grounded? WHAT DO YOU MEAN the spooky black cloak is a representation of Glinda's selflessness as she wraps it lovingly around Elphaba's shoulders, a threadbare cloak that will maybe, hopefully, keep her best friend (lover) warm? WHAT DO YOU MEAN all these symbols of evil actually represent a deep bond of friendship and love? What do you mean????
We're all in agreement here: the movie would have been better if they'd kissed. Nonetheless, Gelphie rules your hearts and your fanart this week, and they're sapphic if you say so, dammit. What else are headcanons for?! Please enjoy this Gelphie art. Pink does go good with green 🩷💚
Saw the musical Wicked earlier this summer and it was AMAZING 😭