@hermesmyplatonicbeloved I'm tagging you because I'm posting a response to you, so I thought you might want to know. But also, don't feel pressured to continue responding, because I get why you wouldn't want to.
1. By blaming Rick and not calling it on Annabeth, I am essentially saying I'll personally edit that out of her character+ I hold no judgement for people that like her because it's not her, it's the author. It's really the value judgement I avoid. Also it removes intention. Like Rick didnt mean her to be toxic, he meant it to be a funny comment, so neither the creator nor consumer views her that way.
And honestly, I mentally rewrite just about everything. It doesn't necessarily mean anything about the media I consume. I change ages, quotes, different personality traits, because it makes most media more enjoyable for me.
But also, Reader-Response Theory? We'll all interpret media in our own way, etc so no, I don't feel bad acknowledging that I rewrite and interpret everything because everyone does, just to different degrees and more or less subconsciously.
2. I didn't mean "insane" to indicate literally incapable of all human thought, but that I wouldnt hold anyone to a perfect standard when they're in that situation. I understand that everyday stresses are enough to make someone rude, irritable, etc; consider road rage - driving/traffic/being cut off, it's not that big of a deal, but drivers every day irrational and get excused for it, so yes, while annabeth is apparently capable of being rational at some points in Tartarus, I don't think it's reasonable to expect that of her, much less for the loooong time they're there. Especially not when part of the challenge of being there is doubting people and not trusting each other, etc etc
The comment about keeping him on his toes has always been weird to me, partly because what I value in every relationship is stability/predictability, but again, I interpreted that comment to be one of those unfunny jokes about never knowing what someone's gonna do or that they keep things interesting. But if RR was really, legitimately trying to say Annabeth doesn't want to make Percy comfortable in their relationship, then yeah that's weird and concerning.
I know I joked it would be a year before I responded but here I am. Forgot to respond and stumbled upon this in my notes app, happy holidays