I've remarked in the past that one of the problems with Dungeons & Dragons under Hasbro is that they want to downplay a lot of the uncomfortably horny elements which have historically characterised the game's implicit milieu, but certain key parts of the game's brand identity are tied up with those horny bits, and they're not willing to give that brand identity up, so they end up doing daft shit like keeping dragon-blooded sorcerers as a core class while acting like "one of your parents fucked a dragon" is the least likely explanation for how you got to be that way, resulting in a text with a strangely coy tone.

The 2024 Player's Handbook carries this policy – and the resulting tonal incoherence – forward. This is how it describes draconic sorcery:

As we can see, it even walks back the 2014 Player's Handbook's oft-mocked discussion of "bargaining" with dragons for power, in favour of proposing scenarios involving accidental exposure to draconic magic – as though a draconic sorcerer is some sort of dragon-themed Spider-Man – while grudgingly acknowledging the possibility of actual dragon-fucking almost as an afterthought.

And then it uses this image to illustrate the Draconic Sorcery subclass:

"Might".

I believe it was Fizban's Treasury which suggested that dragons don't even have sex with each other, instead creating dragon eggs by means of various mysterious rituals. I'm not kidding about Hasbro's intense preoccupation with insisting that dragons do not fuck – it's actually kind of bizarre!

aint that the truth

Two steps ahead.

Dipper was two steps ahead.

Disgust has absolutely no ethical weight. If you are basing your ethical positions on the emotion of disgust you should stop, it is entirely unjustified and leads to a huge amount of harm.

Word for today: wisdom of repugnance

The logical fallacy that because something disgusts you it must be bad

this is probably the funniest example of a tumblr user simply not reading the post theyre reblogging at all

goncharoved

love it when my friends say "you would do numbers on Tumblr" buddy I am on Tumblr. and the number is 3

wow 😳 exceeding expectations!

the 10 note post is a myth! it will never happen

Common Marlon Wayans W

I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.

Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.

It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.

just as a slight correction: in order to be a good candidate for meta (metoidoplasty) you need to have significant bottom growth, i.e. enlargement/growth of the clitorus. this growth happens when you take testosterone (hence why it's often called the tdick). if you don't take much testosterone you are unlikely to get enough bottom growth for a successful meta because it won't be big enough to turn into a dick. phalloplasty can be done regardless tho.

It might be worth asking a doctor about topical DHT cream. My understanding is that in a lot of places it's only legally available through a compounding pharmacy, but I know there are cis women who use it for bottom growth with minimal systemic effects.

But yeah, you do have to have enough bottom growth to get meta. You could do phallo without going on t (as far as I'm aware), but meta is going to require either localized or systemic hormones.

of course the other thing about not going on hormones is that some surgeons will only perform surgeries if you've been X years on T as this is seen as Proof Of Trans. it's bullshit medical gatekeeping unfortunately. you might have to shop around a bit to find a surgeon willing to do phallo if you're not on T/only on a low dose. they're are out there though and reddit really is a great place to find info about which surgeons will do what.

just as a slight correction: in order to be a good candidate for meta (metoidoplasty) you need to have significant bottom growth, i.e. enlargement/growth of the clitorus. this growth happens when you take testosterone (hence why it's often called the tdick). if you don't take much testosterone you are unlikely to get enough bottom growth for a successful meta because it won't be big enough to turn into a dick. phalloplasty can be done regardless tho.

adult human chicken is still the greatest contribution to society terfs have ever produced

adult human chicken.

Video Game Idea: Asymmetrical multiplayer golf game where some of the players are golfers trying to complete the game and some of the players are alligators trying to keep them from doing that.

I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the “kids are scary” changeling type horror movies.

Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like “This is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but he’s bad at playing catch. Most people can’t see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.”

“Mom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and he’s going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! You’ll love it!”

In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.

Surazal stands at the end of the vast dark hallway and says “You Too Have Special Eyes, Little One. You Can See Me Without Being Taken By The Madness. Within You, I Sense Great Turmoil And Sadness. In My Younger Years, I Would Have Exploited The Sadness As Weakness In Your Very Soul. I Would Have Worn Your Skin Like A Mask And Run Through The Village Streets, Supping Blood From Every Man I Encountered. But Now I Have No Use For Woe. Perhaps You Would Like To Watch Beetlejuice In The Family Room With My Daughter While I Prepare Cupcakes. I Am Sensing You Have A Fondness for Red Velvet.”

Monsterfucking is out. Monsterparenting is in.

Why would you hide this in the tags

Something that gave H.P. Lovecraft nightmares is the work of my favorite artist. In “At the Mountains of Madness” he specifically mentions “the strange and disturbing Asian paintings of Nicholas Roerich.”

This is what Roerich’s paintings look like:

#hp lovecraft thought penguins were grotesque and horrifying#he was not a difficult man to frighten

reading a romance novel where the protagonist feels the need to stop and inform that audience that it's okay for her, a 27 year old, to hook up with a 31 year old because despite the age difference both of their brains are fully developed. the Discourse really has done incalculable damage.

that's...they're adults 4 years apart, who on Earth would think there's any sort of meaningful age gap

This is breathtaking

#you know those posts that are like. pulling up a small weed and discovering it's attached to a root system that wraps around the sewer line.#this is one of those.