dancing in the dark

laughing cause I submitted an application for Raya today

I'm in one of those "one thing isn't working out so I want to delete everything and fall off the face of the internet" feels

I'm regretting writing series and not just making them all long ass one-shots. maybe I could take it all back and redo it and just post them as oneshots later.

me: omg you have to finish these requests!!!

also me: hmmm what if we watch the last dance again?

just some thoughts about community:

time to watch my fic crash and burn 😎

so this is gonna sound stupid, but I feel like a failure because I haven't written in over a month. like what the fuck is wrong with me and my brain.

omg not me thinking that everyone on this app hates me again 🙃

I have a personal trainer that I've been working with for about two months now. when I weighed in today I weighed 199.6lbs. this is the first time I've weighed under 200lbs in five years. I haven't told anyone yet. idk why but I just haven't.

my brain is doing that stupid paranoia/everyone hates me thingy again. the urge to just delete my blog is so heavy because of it 🙃

thinking more and more about just going bye bye

it's okay anon, I probably won't because I can't seem to ever get off this site. i always keep coming back <3

what if I just deleted

NOT ME BEING DEPRESSING ON MY SIDE ACCOUNT

I feel so fucking exhausted and numb to everything