*speaks only in half sentences and leaves the rest to telepathy*

the only thing you can do. keep moving foerward

having feelings that contradict your morals is soooo fucking annnoooooyyyiiingggggg. can the emotions and logic department get on the same page im tired of having to like strangle myself into being a tolerable person

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

"That is Signal, the Last Follower of the Old Law."

IM SCREAMIKNDFISDNFJSDBF

just got the single funniest autocorrect from my mum a few minutes ago.

It's the Bonclave (bird conclave) today in my backyard, to elect the Bope (bird pope). The cardinals are deep in discussion.

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

evergreen

"I'll do it tomorrow" is not a decision, it's a wish

best typo ive ever made i think

reblog if you feep stupid

spose we're all feeping stupid today

my favorite coworker told me the scenario she thinks of to fall asleep is she stumbles upon a baby sheep and has to raise it and it grows up and she has to shear it and she says she envisions shearing it so carefully that she always falls asleep at that part

The Crushing Weight of Not Knowing If There Is a Task

im starting to think this crushing weight is not about the tasks

nothing online is ever truly deleted. except that one fucking thing you're looking for

are you lost little boy

This is so much funnier than my caption, dammit