do not let my hate for america distract you from the fact that my no 1 enemy is & will always be the great colonizer britian

Soap looks small in-game, but he turned out to be taller than I expected.

Eepy

Fun Fact! If you tap your knuckles against your knights chestplate and ask who their heart beats for, themselves or you, you can stun-lock them long enough to kiss the side of their helm without protest!

burgler!141 trying to break into your house around the holidays because they think you went to visit family meanwhile you're hiding under the little trap door in the closet of your room and desperately calling the cops but you have almost no hope that they'll get here in time because your little house is a little far away from the main town.

so you're forced to listen in horror as the security bars and doors give out and the men get inside while the operator is on the other line with you.

you listen as they walk around, taking things that don't belong to them and praying that they don't find you. sitting quietly in your hiding spot, praying that they don’t find you and waiting for them to leave was pure agony. and you stayed in that little hidden space until sunrise when you were sure that they were long gone.

only they weren’t. you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw two of them passed out on your bed like they owned it. and as you start to slowly back away, your blood chills when you bump into something behind you.

“well, well, well,” a deep voice rumbles. you can hear the smirk behind it without turning to see. “what do we have here?”

seems like the burglers will be taking one more thing as a souvenir.

recently my friend's comics professor told her that it's acceptable to use gen AI for script-writing but not for art, since a machine can't generate meaningful artistic work. meanwhile, my sister's screenwriting professor said that they can use gen AI for concept art and visualization, but that it won't be able to generate a script that's any good. and at my job, it seems like each department says that AI can be useful in every field except the one that they know best.

It's only ever the jobs we're unfamiliar with that we assume can be replaced with automation. The more attuned we are with certain processes, crafts, and occupations, the more we realize that gen AI will never be able to provide a suitable replacement. The case for its existence lies on our ignorance of the work and skill required to do everything we don't.

joining the war against gross kinks on the side of the gross kinks

I think frat!johnny has secretly paid for one of those etsy witches so they can do readings on his love life and confirm that you are, indeed, also into him.

He is not paying them for love potions and stuff, ‘cause that feels icky and he’s not too sure how the concept of consent works with that kind of thing. HOWEVER, he did pay an extra fee so he could get a sign that confirmed your feelings.

He’s waiting excitedly for the first couple of days, getting a bit nervous around the fourth day in, and feeling like he should give up by the time it’s been a week. Maybe he was scammed out of 25 quid, maybe you really don’t want more than sex with him.

Sadness lasts about an hour. Because when he gets to your usual table, seeing that you’re already waiting with your own usual order and his usual, he pretty much makes the rest of the way skipping.

Honestly, you had asked him for a date because you had noticed he seemed a bit off, shoulders a bit slump in a way you’d never seen from him. Seems like it fully resolved on its own, though, given the fat kiss he plants on your forehead before sitting across from you. Now you have to deal with a Johnny that is more hyper and clingy than usual, and have no idea as to why.

Was there really a sign or did you just get him a croissant because the coffee shop had a 2x1 offer and you were meeting him anyway? WHO CARES. He’s giving the witch a 5 star review and sending in a new request a few days later.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about Demon!Nikolai.

The age old trope of being part of a village that owes its peace and prosperity to a deal made with the demons of the mountain hundreds of years ago, every decade or two one of them will come down and pluck up a little spouse to take home with them. Some will stay in the village for years to scout and gather information before making their choice. Others throw the first pretty thing they see over their shoulder and whistle their way back to the mountain.

Nikolai has visited many times, always disguised, to watch and judge the lambs of the village. And you’re perfect. A red leather cord laced around your neck in a bow, showing that you’re ripe for the taking. Layered, practical cotton dress that professes your innocence. You are not favored by your peers— instead spending much of your time alone with the livestock. Your Sundays are spent sitting under a tree, scribbling in a little book, a chicken or a goat kid snoozing away with its head rested on your thigh.

It’s a surprise to everyone, most of all you, when Nikolai appears before the village, towering, and selects you for his bride. You’re knock kneed and shaking as he guides you away with a hand at the nape of your neck, clawed fingers fiddling with the little leather cord— switched out for black in the wake of your engagement.

He has to add a bell to you, you live so quietly in his temple on the mountain, a little ribbon in your ankle with the tinkling piece of pewter on display. He goes around the place, coming to the courtyard and often hearing the little jingling grow further as you slip away. He enjoys the coyness of the chase, but he worries you may actually fear him.

But when he asks your village elder about you, she excitedly opens a chest— she has many trinkets and gifts from her community, alongside them are the drawings of the village children. She cards through the parchment until she finds what she wants— explaining that at a young age, all of the children are taught about the demons of the mountain, and the traditional marriage between them and the villagers. She proudly produces your drawing from back in your school days, a crude little figure in a dress representing you holding hands with a two-horned beast with tusks, surrounded by hearts, flowers, and scribbly animals.

Interesting.

I’m in this photo and I don’t like it 😂😭

JOHN PRICE call of duty: modern warfare (2019)

Raspberry Girl masterlist + AO3 Simon Riley/female reader *daddy kink, reader is neurodivergent

Winter hurts.