*taking the gun out of my mouth and leaving an uncomfortably erotic trail of saliva* wait i just had a great idea

do you think they’ve ever tried to use these to kill people?

Lowballing some idiot on a pair of mint condition baby shoes RN, will keep you posted

*in a fake body cast, interrupting your conversation* i just think its cruel how not one of you has mentioned my… condition.

Lmao staff at a Nigerian hospital hung this up after a boss they didn't like was transferred away

Yeah, you hate your boss, but do you hate them enough to pay for a full color banner dragging them through the mud for all to see?

short hair Catseye!!

pants around my ankles. puke everywhere---in my hair, all over the front of my shirt, in the hair on my legs, on my underwear. drying on my glasses. get the vacuum out. stumbling, pissing myself, one shoe missing. fucking faded off that madam

Believe women

the baby has one parent's little face marking thing and the other's coat because they're a little horse family the world is a beautiful place

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

This 'jacking off' idea you mentioned sounds intriguing. Have your people call my people

Strong contender for most depressing thing Charlie Brown has ever said