rsd is not a condition. rsd is not a diagnosis. rsd is not a medically recognized symptom of adhd and the experience “rsd” describes is not exclusive to adhd at all. this does not mean people with adhd can’t experience rejection sensitivity, but “rsd” as an “adhd” thing is a concept with no emprical backing developed by one man, with claims of it being brain-based without any evidence behind that claim, as well as many other claims surrounding the “nature” of rsd. adhd is a condition characterized by executive dysfunction, which can involve emotional dysregulation, but acknowledging that is different from the framework of “rsd” and seeing people on this site pass this around without critical thought and even claiming rsd is “adhd only >:(” makes me sick. you’re buying into what’s basically pop psychology instead of scientific research.

emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity is by no means adhd exclusive, and people with adhd experiencing those things doesn’t need to have its own special label or whatever when there’s no meaningful difference between someone with adhd experiencing those things and someone without adhd experiencing those things. that’s not logical and a ridiculous mentality of “rsd is adhd ONLY because our rejection sensitivity is SPECIAL” completely goes against building common ground with other neurodivergent people for petty and invalid reasons.

the amount of misinfo going around about adhd on this site is uncanny. please investigate claims others make about disability and do your research - actual research, which doesn’t include tumblr posts that lack citation and oft unreliable sources like ADDitude Mag and WebMD. it would be INFINITELY more productive to operate on a shared experience of emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity among varying groups of neurodivergent people than to feed into this nonsensical idea of “adhd-only special super rejection sensitivity.”

if you allow me to second this op, i became aware of the whole rsd thing being bullshit during my research for my current graduation work. i looked through many articles, hundreds even, in english, portuguese, spanish… granted, i did not exhaust EVERY possible science research website, but i favored ones that had good rep and that i already knew could help me get easy resources. still, no mention of rejection sensitive dysphoria, for my research that contained adhd as a keyword.

i feel like the case that happens here is that people see adhd and rsd through the lens of false correlation, and by that i mean, they observe a phenomenon that DOES happen, which is people with adhd feeling alienated from their peers and having a negative sense of self when it comes to social situations, and immediately think: “oh! this happens a lot with people who have adhd? must be a symptom!” when rather, it is related, yes, but it is more of a risk.

and this risk is not related to the very existence of adhd, but rather to outside circumstance, specifically ableism and underdiagnosis. during my research, some articles would cite going undiagnosed until adulthood as a higher risk for comorbid anxiety and depression. also, negative labels and rejection from family and peers contributed to low self esteem, negative self perception and oh shocker!/s social anxiety (sources, if you want them, sorry some of them are in portuguese: 1, 2, 3, 4).

its not that adhd CAUSES any of this. its just that its a high risk because of ableist environments and often a lack of diagnosis, which leads to you feeling pretty fucking bad about yourself and wondering why are you so different. i mean, i know i did. but i think thats something that can happen with ANY disorder, specially disorders that can persist through your whole life and affect pretty much every corner of your life. i may even be confident enough to say that, if i had done a research on autism, i may have found pretty similar results. ableism and rejection is something common to the experiences of pretty much all of us neurodivergent people!! there is literally no need to confuse a common experience with something that only this disorder or that disorder can have.

don’t apologize, this is good!

TL;DR:

natural voice change

Lower

Higher

Someone might need this

since literally none of the links in this entire post works, I took it upon myself to go find stuff that seems useful rather than let an empty post go around giving others hope lmao. I haven’t tried these myself but maybe it works for some of y’all ? 

please add links if you got other useful stuff too !

Lower :

Higher :

to update: Ada Han’s video on how to make your voice more feminine. Part 2

To my trans mutuals/followers or just those who don’t like their voice and want to improve it.

Boost!!

hello! i’m ken, a gay trans man out of work and unable to go back due to disability and covid. i’ve applied for SSI but have no idea of when i’ll be receiving it and in the meantime i have to pay already late rent plus all other expenses of living, most immediate being food. i can pay none of this bc my bank acct is already in the red. 

if anyone has anything to spare, i need At Least 20 USD to get out of that hole, and then $344 to pay for at least my rent and utilities, probably more as part of that will be spent buying food as i have nearly nothing to eat right now. anything you can spare would make a huge difference! if you can’t, rbing this does a lot to help too. thank you

paypal.me/KennethScoggin

cashapp.me/$sunflowerhouse

its important to me as a detrans woman to be vocal about it. its important to me as a detrans women who initially only had radfems to talk to about detransition, because i couldnt find a single trans inclusive detrans person for over a year, to make sure other people know they have options.

radfems arent your aly if you're questioning your gender. they dont have your best interest at heart. they dont care about helping you explore who you are, theyre only interested in sucking you in to be another transmisogynistic pawn for their violent ideology.

if you're trans/nonbinary now, but are wondering if it isnt right for you, know that you have options. you can talk to me. there are people who have not done a 180 into bigotry who are here to support you.

please reblog, do not just like, this post.

i dont have a large platform. i want this to get spread. i want to remove terfs from the forefront of detrans/reidentification awareness & support. they cannot continue to be the first contact for questioning people.

i am begging you, yes you personally, to please reblog this, and comment or reply in the tags if you're a safe, trans-inclusive detransitioned or reidentified person to approach.

learning how not to fish for compliments can really help how you interact with others. here’s some common phrases i’ve noticed:

what all of these have in common is that they all involve putting yourself down. when you do that, those around you feel obligated to compliment you, which can make them feel frustrated that they have to just to be polite. not only that, but by talking yourself down you feel worse about yourself. the latter two phrases also centre your problems, distracting the attention from the person you’re trying to compliment. that often makes them feel bad!

here’s how to fix those phrases:

by cutting out the negativity, you make it so nobody feels obligated to compliment you. you’ll usually get more compliments this way because people don’t feel uncomfortable! the latter two phrases now also centre the artist and their knowledge. not only do they make the artist feel good, they also might score you some good advice.

this strategy will also help to boost your confidence in the long run. if you stop prefacing every compliment with negativity, you’ll be able to internalise them better.

@that0n3teen @insert-awesome-loki-url-here

:0

@im-a-dragon-cawcaw

Don’t call me out like this ahksfjsdf

Yo just uh never compliment me and we will never have this problem ever cause I do this unconsciously lol-

don’t give up on compliments altogether just because you’re struggling with this right now! it’s a behaviour, and like any behaviour you can change it with a bit of effort. it can be tricky since you need to start noticing when you’re doing this and correcting yourself when you do, but it’s very much achievable! anyone can do it, and it’ll really help you. i believe in you!

if you’re a mentally ill adult, especially if you’re psychotic or have bipolar, i highly recommend you look into getting a psychiatric advance directive. basically they’re a form you can fill out where you can specify what kind of treatment you want and don’t want in the case that you ever get legally declared incompetent. normally, getting declared incompetent means that psychiatrists take away your right to make decisions about your mental health care. for example, they can force you to take medications you don’t want or institutionalize you longterm without your consent. also the state appoints someone they choose to legally “consent” in your place.

what a psychiatric advance directive does is put limits on what the psychiatrists assigned to you can do. you can appoint your own person to be your legal representative, someone you trust who knows you and cares about you. you can also specify what hospitals you don’t want to be sent to or what doctors you don’t want to see or medications you don’t want to take or whether or not you consent to electroconvulsive treatment. you can also say what you do want, like i put down that they decided to institutionalize me, i wanted it to be at a specific psych ward i’d already been to and had a not terrible time at. and now, if i ever get declared incompetent, psychiatrists are legally not allowed to put me back on the meds that gave me a seizure. 

nobody wants to be legally declared incompetent. it’s really scary to think about, but it does happen, especially to people with psychosis or bipolar disorder. it’s better to have legal safeguards in place ahead of time and not need them than to get declared incompetent and not have an advance directive

PEOPLE WITH ADHD WHO HAVE ONLINE CLASS I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED A BREAKTHROUGH IN FOCUSING TECHNOLOGY:

This extension lets you doodle on any webpage just like you would doodle on a piece of paper in class to focus. I just added it to my chrome and it’s been a godsend. I watched an 11 minute video on LDAP servers without getting distracted once! I don’t know if other browsers offer this specific app as an extension but I know for sure it’s offered through chrome. I hope this helps other people as much as it’s helped me!

[id: a screenshot of the extension “web paint”. offered by: top_ext. rated 3 and a half stars. categorised under ”fun”. downloaded by over 800,000 users. end id.]

i have never met an unpsychotic person who knows what it actually means to “not encourage the delusion” …not a single one

what “don’t encourage the delusion” means:

what it does not mean:

Yo real quick it is perfectly possible and OKAY for people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) to want and have healthy relationships.

Contrary to popular belief, NPD doesn't inherently turn someone into a "master manipulator" or an abuser. NPD is a disorder created by trauma. Traumatized people are not inherently threatening.

If someone is abusive, that doesn't mean they have NPD.

If someone has NPD, that doesn't mean they're abusive.

If any of my followers (or others who see this) have NPD, you are not a bad person for wanting healthy relationships.

dc and american mutuals/followers, if you’re anxious and stressed due to the current situation, here are a few mental health and checkpoint carrds!

feel free to add more links!

here are some more:

@ all trans people about to attend online school:

This will visually remove your deadname from any webpage. Obviously switch it off if your parents wanna check up on your work, but yee here's the link fam!!!! BOOST THIS!!! SEND THIS TO ANY TRANS PERSON YOU KNOW WHO WILL NEED THIS

This is really awesome!

i....hate my school.  they blocked this. like, wtf?

If your school has blocked this I recommend using ‘InteractiveFics’. Its originally used for changing Y/N to your own name but it has a separate option where you can change any word/name to what you want.

It has a less likely chance of being blocked so I thought I’d mention it.

WordReplacer II works as well, though it’s not specifically designed for deadnames

remember to cry for help without guilt-tripping. i know it feels like you’ve been abandoned and betrayed, but it’s probably not true, and it’s not okay to accuse the people around you of something they might not have done.

“i guess none of you like me” could be better phrased as “i feel unloved right now”

“but nobody cares anyway” could be better phrased as “i feel insignificant and i need reassurance”

rather than assuming others’ feelings, give them time to explain them. you’ll usually get a much better answer.

This is really important for future predictions, too. “You’re eventually going to leave me” is impossible for someone else to disprove without just sticking around forever, but no one wants to stick around when they’re being constantly accused of future abandonment. Giving someone no choice but to either stay with you forever in order to prove you wrong or leave you and prove you right is incredibly emotionally manipulative, whether you mean it to be or not.

“I get scared sometimes because I’m afraid of being alone again” is easier to address and doesn’t leave your partner(s)/friend(s) feeling as though they’re being preemptively accused of something.  

yessss this- I see some people in the notes saying the better phrasing is unnatural but it’s like you don’t Have to use those exact words, you just need to make sure you’re not using manipulative language or language that literally traps someone into reassuring you (like constant self deprecating jokes) because none of that is a healthy way to cope with mental illness at all

very very fun fact

we cant help it

i would be very surprised if there’s any neurotypicals in this reblog chain - the only “we” that exists here includes all of us. you can always help it. there’s no such thing as “illness that makes you incapable of not hurting others”. it can be hard to manage your symptoms - i don’t like the harsh tone i adopted for this op anymore - but you can always try, i promise.

a lot of children - especially mentally ill children - end up traumatized not because someone was specifically hurting them but because their needs weren’t being met, or because their problems weren’t being seen, or because they were rendered particularly vulnerable by other aspects of their identity, like queerness or race. 

and it can be hard to look at your childhood and go “I was hurt” and also know that the hurt wasn’t deliberate. it’s uniquely painful to not have someone to blame. 

you do not have to excuse the people who hurt you, even if it was unintentional. & acknowledging your own pain does not necessarily entail blaming them for it.

you are allowed to do what you need to do in order to recover. 

Also:

“they did the best they could/with what they had” and “it wasn’t (good) enough” are two things that can and must be true at the same time

.

This is a very real and legit type of trauma called Trauma B, which in short means that you weren’t given the things that you needed to survive and thrive, and I believe that it’s the culprit for way to many things and we need to understand and talk about it more.

(Trauma A is the type where something happens to you)

Trauma B is something I will have to look into.

@punkinspice seems to have got the two mixed up - type A trauma is the one caused by things such as neglect, and type B is caused by traumatic events. here’s a good article on it: https://www.teenrehab.org/resources/helping-your-teen/type-a-type-b-trauma/

(contains a picture of the aftermath of a car accident, a cheesy stock photo depicting vague domestic violence, and naturally mentions of other events that cause and result from trauma).

there’s plenty more articles on google if you just search up the terms.

hi again everyone!

i’m looking for a place to stay for another person who needs to escape abuse. they’ll have a place in about a year and need somewhere (if necessary, multiple somewheres) to hole up until then. they currently live in decatur, georgia, usa. if you live a bit further away we can work out travel fees. they won’t be able to pay board, but will be able to help around the house.

message me over on @everyone-needs-a-hoopoe for more details, or please spread this if you can’t. thank you!

hi again everyone!

i’m looking for a place to stay for another person who needs to escape abuse. they’ll have a place in about a year and need somewhere (if necessary, multiple somewheres) to hole up until then. they currently live in decatur, georgia, usa. if you live a bit further away we can work out travel fees. they won’t be able to pay board, but will be able to help around the house.

message me over on @everyone-needs-a-hoopoe for more details, or please spread this if you can’t. thank you!