I am utterly disgusted and shocked by the rise of the newer generation using terms like “feminine” and “masculine” to promote misogynistic and harmful behaviors. How is this any different from the “be more ladylike” or “become more manly” phrases of the past? It’s time to embrace who you are, without conforming to the restrictive views of the patriarchy. Stop romanticizing and obsessing over influencers online and losing yourself in the process. You are not them, and you never will be. You don’t need to “become more feminine” or “get in touch with your masculinity” just because someone online is pushing you to do so. Be unapologetically yourself.
Patriarchy draws rigid lines between the "private" spaces designated for women and the "public" arenas occupied by men, thereby entrenching traditional gender roles and hierarchies. This disturbing trend of promoting the idea of “embrace your femininity/masculinity” is nothing more than a mechanism for the patriarchy to impose limitations on the younger generation, urging them to confine themselves and suppress their authentic self-expression.
If you find yourself constantly having to monitor your behaviour and restrain your true essence in an effort to conform to an expected notion of what it means to be “more feminine,” then that is not a reflection of your identity—it is the patriarchy dictating your choices, telling you how to live your life. Feel free to respond with disdainful comments or passive-aggressive remarks, but as a feminist, I refuse to accept the normalization of such damaging ideologies.
Toxic femininity and masculinity have escalated to a disturbing level where the notion of “two adults having dinner together should pay for themselves fairly” is met with disdain. It's incredible how quickly some will label you as brainwashed if you assert that a man is not obligated to pick up the tab – rather, it should be the responsibility of both individuals. Arguments like “women put so much effort into their appearance” or “you are a prize in a man's life” do not justify the expectation that a man should foot the bill. Yes, women invest significant time and energy into their appearance, but let’s be real- much of that effort is for themselves as well, not solely for the man they are with.
In a relationship, it's essential to value each other, but that should never extend to expecting financial dependency. Why is it considered so radical for an adult woman to be expected to pay for herself? Some may claim that they are feminists, ‘embracing their feminine energy’, yet in reality, they are simply normalizing financial dependence and perpetuating patriarchal values. A man is not losing his ‘masculinity’ when he expects an adult woman to contribute her share. It's frankly outrageous that anyone would oppose concepts like “splitting the bill” or “whoever asked the other out should pay.” Everyone should be responsible for their own finances in a partnership.
Social media increasingly promotes content that encourages men to stifle their emotions. Expressions of grief or stress are often met with ridicule or hostility, as many label such displays as emasculating, even though this notion is fundamentally flawed. This toxic trend is rooted in patriarchy, with repackaged patriarchal values being marketed to young minds as something positive and worthy of celebration. This is one of the primary contributors to the ongoing crisis in men's mental health.
(Let me be clear. I am not criticizing anyone who enjoys activities typically considered ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’. My point is that social media often promotes influencers who use these labels to reinforce patriarchal views and ideologies in our everyday lives. Adults should have the freedom to be who they are without feeling the need to please a specific audience. I would never judge a man or a woman for enjoying things that align with traditional gender norms. What I’m saying is…don’t spend your life trying to be someone you’re not, even if that persona aligns more closely with societal expectations. It's kinda frustrating that someone somewhere has definitely worded it better than me and that mine would probably look really vague and bleak alongside their work but you gotta start somewhere ig. 💔💔)
