I was scrolling through tiktok and heard "Ea-Nasir" and I knew I had to share lol

@joy-and-whimsy-detector-official

[JOY AND WHIMSY DETECTED]

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

free reaction pic

Wild that people think picky eaters will eat only fries n chicken tenders. No idiot, sushi rice with soy sauce and weird store bought topping until i explode. If they ever change the topping recipe im going to kill the executive that decided to do that.

TELL IT HOW IT IS GIRL 👏

Good news! Elementary schoolers of the modern day still believe this is part of vanilla minecraft. I have borne firsthand witness to these discussions.

the folkloric gate to heaven requires journeying to hell to get its building material

yo what's the handle of the fancy calligraphy guy can we get them over here that's a line

@theshitpostcalligrapher

oh good i needed a warmup piece

#listen i dont mean to be that guy but#you can make glowstone by using glowstone dust#and witches drop glowstone dust#no hell needed

buddy not to be a ridiculous nerd about it but you realize that seeking out dark magic users to kill them and pry potion ingredients out of their dead, cold hands isn't exactly non-hellish behavior? maybe the journey to hell is internal idk your playstyle

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

boy it's me the textiles speaking to you inside your head. you need the yarn. you need thread. your soul hungers to participate in the act of creation. you must feed it. you must buy so many beads.

okay dont be mad but i just scheduled you for every appointment ever. you have an open house on tuesday and a doctor is removing your all of it tomorrow 👍

some of the kindest people you’ll ever meet are blogging about blood and guts at 10 in the morning

my dad (Maori) works on a ship with all Maori/Tongan/Samoan fisherman- and one Aussie guy called Jake.

And that wasn't done on purpose just sort of how it ended up, but Jake recently got an injury so they put him on a Different boat just for a little bit (a sit in the wheelhouse and scout type of boat, instead of the main fishing one) and he only got back to my dad's ship today and he was apparently like Shaking. He was Traumatised.

Dad said Jake kept pulling him aside and going "They were all yelling on there, but in a MEAN way" "They didn't clean... Like at ALL"

Jake experienced what a boat full of old school Aussie fisherman is like. That is the norm Jake. You just happened to be on the all Island boy boat on your first go out. "It was time for dinner and they had FROZEN nuggets" Jake that's what they have on ships that are out at sea for months at a time.

On my dad's boat they are eating fresh fish and coconut milk Ceviche. They're grilling steaks on an open bbq on the deck that probably is not regulation. All the guys have their own special knives to prepare sashimi every couple days. Everyone is happily doing their own work so they can clock out early and set up a movie on the deck. Jake did you genuinely believe that's what every boat was doing.

Local Australian man is fed fresh juices and smoked fish for first time- refuses to go back to beef jerky boat life

jake that first night when they served a freezer tray tv dinner and not an overflowing plate of fish that's probably going for conservatively like $40-$80 bucks a kilo but the guys decided Eh we'll catch more let's just fry it up:

i want to ensure that noone ever calls me a liar on the internet and want to confirm that island boy dinner is very real and it's waiting for you

Just got a chatgpt ad where the use case was "can't decide a new years resolution". I can't think of anything more sad than needing a robot to tell you what your own ambitions are. Loser shit.

Nailmaster Ghost

A discarded vessel of the Pale King's make, trained in the Nail Arts.

My sibling has always had a taste for violence, for self-improvement, and for collecting parental figures. It doesn't surprise me that this is how they choose to channel all three. Even setting aside their godly bearing, they are easily among the most formidable warriors I have ever known.

Commissioned from @rizrice.

if sex work was legal the workers could unionize

I am fully serious about this btw. not "pro sex work" as in "there are no issues whatsoever within the industry", but "pro sex work" as in "these are jobs and the workers should be a) allowed to work and b) protected from their customers by the law"

people responding to this with stuff like "but that would just put sex workers in the same exploited position as uber drivers, cleaners, migrant workers, etc" and yes! good point! reform all of it! keep going!

I recently managed to complete the 5th Pantheon in Hollow Knight with the Grimm Child, and this is how I think the union between the Godseeker and the Knight would look, along with the somewhat grown-up child.

My specialty at work (eg, what I tend to get thrown into) is wrangling clever but extremely poorly behaved children. (The children are adolescent, but children nonetheless.) They tend to be boys. They tend to have ADHD. (It's possible that the focus on the clever rules out the ADHD girls, who have cleverly developed better masking skills by adolescence.)

The current bright and terrible-on-purpose disaster, A, is aware of the ADHD diagnosis but has apparently been told nothing about the disability. So a lot of our conversations go like this:

Me: Well, I'd ask you why you decided to start making richly detailed but extremely inappropriate jokes during class, but I'm pretty sure the answer is that someone started yelling at you for doing it before you realized that you were.

A, leaning backward, looking concerned: Are you following me?

Me: Yes, that's what I do with the spare time I don't have during the day, follow aggravating children around. We have so few of them here.

A, put out either because I've called him aggravating or because he's not special and aggravating: Sarcasm isn't very nice, Ms. T.

Me, sarcastically: I'm so sorry. Maybe you looked at the work first, thought boring, and then decided to be an enormous brat.

A: You can read minds?!

--

Me: Clearly we need executive dysfunction strategies for you, because if we don't get in front of it you'll be an adult who sits on their sofa for forty minutes yelling at herself to do the dishes and never does them.

A, trying to politely muffle laughter: Are you doing all right, Ms. T?

Me: Out of dishes, but fine. What's working in your classes? Your Literature grade is good, why are you doing the reading?

A looks left. Right. Up. At his phone.

Me: ... You aren't doing the reading, are you? The other kids ask questions because they don't understand it, and you figure out what it has to be about from the answers and never read.

A: Are you in my Lit class??

--

Me: Okay, look, ADHD brains are weird, and we tend to get them from our families, so these -

A, immediately: My dad.

Me, derailed from my drug interaction speech: Yeah, okay. When your dad has coffee, does he get calmer?

A, backing away: You're stalking my whole family now?!

maybe when they air the secret stranger things episode they’ll accidentally upload the wrong file from the industry folder of secret tv episodes and it’ll be the lost sherlock episode instead