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"Quick, into the blanket fort!"

@idiopathicsmile / idiopathicsmile.tumblr.com

She/her. Mid-thirties. Semi-professional writer, amateur singer/songwriter, well-intentioned ball of pure quivering anxiety. Buy my queer sci-fi/mystery YA novel STARS, HIDE YOUR FIRES now available in paperback wherever books are sold!
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on finding each other if this whole magical terrible basement really does implode—

Bluesky @jesserbest

Instagram @jesserbest but my presence there is mostly just photos of charcuterie boards

Wordpress jessicamarybest.com, you can also sign up for my extremely periodic newsletter at the end of this post ETA: idiopathicsmile on pillowfort as well!

mutuals, if you're okay with it, pls drop me a line (you can do it privately if you'd rather) and tell me where/how to follow you across the various webbed sites.

in the meantime, i will be here posting til security chases me out. <3

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Anonymous asked:

i had no clue you were a published author wtf that’s so cool and i’m not that surprised bc ur a great writer, but long story short how i know you is anytime i eat a banana or a banana flavoured candy… i think of ur fic BAHAHA bc first of all it’s factually true about the flavouring and second idk its ingrained to me soul even tho its been over five years since i had a “stucky phase” basically i just want u to know that ur banana fic is never leaving my mind

hi! thank you. as I have said before, I have had plenty of time to make peace with the fact that a fic I wrote in one day with the thesis "we in the US used to have other bananas that tasted different" is likely the biggest cultural impact I will ever have, so I find this delightful. hope you have an excellent day, anon!

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If I'm being honest, I didn't expect any good news to come of several votes today, but there are a few things to cling to as things continue to escalate on all fronts. A War Powers Resolution votes passed the Senate thanks to 5 Republican Senators defecting and voting in favor of it, and Democrats holding strong and voting unanimously. Thanks to unanimous Democratic votes and 15 Republicans crossing party lines, a vote to extend ACA subsidies for another three years have passed the House. Despite major opposition from House leadership and the White House rewriting history on the 5 year anniversary of the January 6 coup, a majority vote forced the raising of a plaque that celebrated the law enforcement involvement in protecting congresspeople from the coup. Additionally, Trump's vehement response to the 5 Senators who voted against him in the War Powers Resolution vote has led to several other Republicans saying they will vote in favor of further measures to constrain Trump's power over the military

Donald Trump can’t count on Congress to have his back any more
Republicans dealt the president a series of rebukes Thursday that cast fresh doubt about his sway on Capitol Hill.
POLITICO

I admittedly don't have the energy to write specific scripts for this, but it may be worth contacting your legislators to either thank them or condemn them depending on their stances in these situations. I will provide tools to identify who voted in which way on different matters mentioned here, if anyone wishes to make such calls

It's important to celebrate victories where we can while keeping focused on the work we have to do. Especially when things happen all at once like the last week or so. Hang in there, y'all

Republicans who voted in favor of the War Powers Resolution:

  • Rand Paul of Kentucky
  • Lisa Murkowski of Alaska
  • Susan Collins of Maine
  • Josh Halwey of Missouri
  • Todd Young of Indiana

ACA Vote:

List of Republicans who defied Donald Trump on Obamacare subsidies grows
In a rare GOP split, the House voted 230-196 to extend Affordable Care Act subsidies, with 17 Republicans joining Democrats. The bill now mo
Newsweek

The vote to erect the January 6th plaque was unanimous in the Senate

Posted January 8th, 2026

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Some welcome good news, but I think it's worth noting that the extension of the ACA subsidies will only take effect if it also passes the senate as well. US citizens, here is your sign to call your senators and bug them about it. 5calls.org script is available here, as well as a tool to look up your senators' numbers!

#uspol cw
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Anonymous asked:

Hi, I’m obsessed with Keep It Steady and about to do my yearly re-read of World Ain’t Ready (6th time since discovering it for the first time in high school!). Just wanted to say I adore your writing and voice, and can’t wait to read YPMS when it comes out! Sending so much love and good vibes for the new year

Hi, what a lovely note! Thank you so much for reading and listening! Writing can be such a lonely pursuit so it is always good to hear from someone who connects with my work. I can't say how much I appreciate the kind words and the good vibes, and your support of the new upcoming book. Sending you good vibes as well! <3

#you pierce my soul novel#also can you believe keep it steady is only two episodes away from the end?#like on one hand yes okay it's been about four years#but on the other hand i guess i thought it would keep going forever
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Hey friends! Show me proof of a donation to World Central Kitchen and from now til the 31st of December, 11:59 pm ET, for every $20 raised, I’ll reveal a new type of imaginary ranch dressing from my frankly unhinged list of imaginary ranch dressings. I will post the results on my BlueSky, and every time we reach 5 new entries, I will post them here, too.

FAQ under the cut!

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  1. Ice cold ranch, the ranch that’s cooler than cool ranch 
  2. Ranch Dubois, a southern-style ranch that some have described as “tragic” or “haunting”
  3. Raunch, a ranch that’s for adults only. Don’t ask me what this means; I am asexual. I cannot help you.
  4. Boneless ranch, the ranch that has no bones
  5. The Granch, an ill-fated ranch dressing tie-in to the 2000 film How the Grinch Stole Christmas
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6. Sandch - finally, a ranch for the beach 7. Carbonated ranch. In Europe, this is called “ranch with gas,” just kidding; this is not among Europe's crimes. 8. Time ranch, the ranch which is constantly moving through the temporal continuum 9. Double ranch - the ranch with twice the herbs, which also creates a doppelganger of the eater 10. Hidden Valet Ranch, the dressing for when you are a gentleman with a very discreet personal servant

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11. Zanch, the ranch that doesn’t have to go on pizza because each bottle contains an entire pizza, all blended up 12. Ranchardonnay - oaky, with notes of garlic powder, dill, and unearned confidence. 13. Cranch, the almost impossibly crunchy dressing 14. Cookie dough ranch, a sweet snacking ranch 15. Ranch Zero, the ranch that’s zero calories (it’s just water)

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16. Ranch vapor, the dressing you can breathe 17. Earth ranch, which can conveniently double as potting soil 18. Flame Ranch (you might think this is a further riff on the elements but it’s actually an even more ill-fated dressing-based tie-in to the 2019 French film Portrait of a Lady on Fire.) 19. Wobblin’ ranch jello, for fans of vintage recipe horror 20. Action Ranch, with 14 essential vitamins and electrolytes

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21. Tepid Ranch, the ranch that makes you say, “Shouldn’t this be refrigerated?” 22. Hover ranch, the dressing not bound by gravity 23. Ranch soup, for those who like their dressing piping hot 24. Curly ranch, for maximum definition and bounciness 25. rAInch (yes, it arguably has too many fingers; but for reasons never explained it is inevitable and we are all supposed to accept it.)

26. Ranchly, less a product and more a suite of ranch-based solutions 27. Tall ranch, the ranch designed to be placed on a high shelf such that those shorter than five foot five can’t reach it 28. Do you ever wish there was a ranch that could talk to you, gently making you question your preconceived notions? Good luck with that. This ranch only makes a wordless guttural scream. 29. Hamch - for too long, humans have had to choose between ham or ranch. No longer. 30. Journey Ranch, the ranch for long sea voyages. Each bottle contains enough lemon juice to ward off scurvy, as well as all components of a working compass.

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31. Branch, the ranch that’s part dressing, part stick

32. Pranch, the ranch dressing for those who simply love to prance about.

33. Craft ranch - not to be confused with Kraft Ranch, this ultra sticky dressing is perfect when you need a mayo-based glue substitute

34. Striped ranch – This ranch has stripes in it!

35.Ranch for dogs. Enough said.

36. Glitteranch, see how it shines 37. Rancharoo, ranch baby formula, for those who are raising their infants extra zesty

38. Rnch, the post-apocalyptic ranch-like substitute

39. Ranch Supreme, the one ranch to end them all

#ranchblogging#thank you so so much to everyone who gave#(roughly $787 in total!!!)#i appreciate each and every one of you#and thanks to everyone who shared and liked which kept my spirits up a little#and made me feel less like i was sitting in the bottom of a deep ranch-based well#going into 2026 feeling grateful which is pretty alright!
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Reblogged
Avatar

Hey friends! Show me proof of a donation to World Central Kitchen and from now til the 31st of December, 11:59 pm ET, for every $20 raised, I’ll reveal a new type of imaginary ranch dressing from my frankly unhinged list of imaginary ranch dressings. I will post the results on my BlueSky, and every time we reach 5 new entries, I will post them here, too.

FAQ under the cut!

Avatar
  1. Ice cold ranch, the ranch that’s cooler than cool ranch 
  2. Ranch Dubois, a southern-style ranch that some have described as “tragic” or “haunting”
  3. Raunch, a ranch that’s for adults only. Don’t ask me what this means; I am asexual. I cannot help you.
  4. Boneless ranch, the ranch that has no bones
  5. The Granch, an ill-fated ranch dressing tie-in to the 2000 film How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Avatar

6. Sandch - finally, a ranch for the beach 7. Carbonated ranch. In Europe, this is called “ranch with gas,” just kidding; this is not among Europe's crimes. 8. Time ranch, the ranch which is constantly moving through the temporal continuum 9. Double ranch - the ranch with twice the herbs, which also creates a doppelganger of the eater 10. Hidden Valet Ranch, the dressing for when you are a gentleman with a very discreet personal servant

Avatar

11. Zanch, the ranch that doesn’t have to go on pizza because each bottle contains an entire pizza, all blended up 12. Ranchardonnay - oaky, with notes of garlic powder, dill, and unearned confidence. 13. Cranch, the almost impossibly crunchy dressing 14. Cookie dough ranch, a sweet snacking ranch 15. Ranch Zero, the ranch that’s zero calories (it’s just water)

Avatar

16. Ranch vapor, the dressing you can breathe 17. Earth ranch, which can conveniently double as potting soil 18. Flame Ranch (you might think this is a further riff on the elements but it’s actually an even more ill-fated dressing-based tie-in to the 2019 French film Portrait of a Lady on Fire.) 19. Wobblin’ ranch jello, for fans of vintage recipe horror 20. Action Ranch, with 14 essential vitamins and electrolytes

Avatar

21. Tepid Ranch, the ranch that makes you say, “Shouldn’t this be refrigerated?” 22. Hover ranch, the dressing not bound by gravity 23. Ranch soup, for those who like their dressing piping hot 24. Curly ranch, for maximum definition and bounciness 25. rAInch (yes, it arguably has too many fingers; but for reasons never explained it is inevitable and we are all supposed to accept it.)

26. Ranchly, less a product and more a suite of ranch-based solutions 27. Tall ranch, the ranch designed to be placed on a high shelf such that those shorter than five foot five can’t reach it 28. Do you ever wish there was a ranch that could talk to you, gently making you question your preconceived notions? Good luck with that. This ranch only makes a wordless guttural scream. 29. Hamch - for too long, humans have had to choose between ham or ranch. No longer. 30. Journey Ranch, the ranch for long sea voyages. Each bottle contains enough lemon juice to ward off scurvy, as well as all components of a working compass.

#ranchblogging
Avatar
Reblogged
Avatar

Hey friends! Show me proof of a donation to World Central Kitchen and from now til the 31st of December, 11:59 pm ET, for every $20 raised, I’ll reveal a new type of imaginary ranch dressing from my frankly unhinged list of imaginary ranch dressings. I will post the results on my BlueSky, and every time we reach 5 new entries, I will post them here, too.

FAQ under the cut!

Avatar
  1. Ice cold ranch, the ranch that’s cooler than cool ranch 
  2. Ranch Dubois, a southern-style ranch that some have described as “tragic” or “haunting”
  3. Raunch, a ranch that’s for adults only. Don’t ask me what this means; I am asexual. I cannot help you.
  4. Boneless ranch, the ranch that has no bones
  5. The Granch, an ill-fated ranch dressing tie-in to the 2000 film How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Avatar

6. Sandch - finally, a ranch for the beach 7. Carbonated ranch. In Europe, this is called “ranch with gas,” just kidding; this is not among Europe's crimes. 8. Time ranch, the ranch which is constantly moving through the temporal continuum 9. Double ranch - the ranch with twice the herbs, which also creates a doppelganger of the eater 10. Hidden Valet Ranch, the dressing for when you are a gentleman with a very discreet personal servant

Avatar

11. Zanch, the ranch that doesn’t have to go on pizza because each bottle contains an entire pizza, all blended up 12. Ranchardonnay - oaky, with notes of garlic powder, dill, and unearned confidence. 13. Cranch, the almost impossibly crunchy dressing 14. Cookie dough ranch, a sweet snacking ranch 15. Ranch Zero, the ranch that’s zero calories (it’s just water)

Avatar

16. Ranch vapor, the dressing you can breathe 17. Earth ranch, which can conveniently double as potting soil 18. Flame Ranch (you might think this is a further riff on the elements but it’s actually an even more ill-fated dressing-based tie-in to the 2019 French film Portrait of a Lady on Fire.) 19. Wobblin’ ranch jello, for fans of vintage recipe horror 20. Action Ranch, with 14 essential vitamins and electrolytes

#ranchblogging
Avatar
Me as a child: Ugh, cosmetics are a tool of the oppressor! Why do I ever have to learn how to put on makeup? 2025 me, visiting from the future: Well, look. When you’re 38, you’ll get the sudden impulse to record and distribute a clip of yourself singing a parody of the Ella Fitzgerald version of “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” all about your current mission to raise money for World Central Kitchen, a charity that provides culturally appropriate food to those in the wake of disasters, wherein for every $20 people can prove they gave, you’ll reveal another imaginary type of ranch dressing from a very long list of imaginary ranch dressings you brainstormed. And because you'll be going for kind of a vintage feel with the video, you’re pretty sure it will be marginally funnier if while on camera you’re wearing correctly applied lipstick and eye shadow. Me as a child: … 2025 me: Yeah, uh, that’s kind of what you’re choosing to do with adulthood at this point in time. Me as a child: Oh, to be honest this feels in keeping with everything I already know about myself. 2025 me: phew Me as a child: Now quick, tell me all about where you came from! Who’s president? What’s the political situation? What’s going on in the world? 2025 me: uhhh gotta go—
#ranchblogging
Avatar
Reblogged
Avatar

Hey friends! Show me proof of a donation to World Central Kitchen and from now til the 31st of December, 11:59 pm ET, for every $20 raised, I’ll reveal a new type of imaginary ranch dressing from my frankly unhinged list of imaginary ranch dressings. I will post the results on my BlueSky, and every time we reach 5 new entries, I will post them here, too.

FAQ under the cut!

Avatar
  1. Ice cold ranch, the ranch that’s cooler than cool ranch 
  2. Ranch Dubois, a southern-style ranch that some have described as “tragic” or “haunting”
  3. Raunch, a ranch that’s for adults only. Don’t ask me what this means; I am asexual. I cannot help you.
  4. Boneless ranch, the ranch that has no bones
  5. The Granch, an ill-fated ranch dressing tie-in to the 2000 film How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Avatar

6. Sandch - finally, a ranch for the beach 7. Carbonated ranch. In Europe, this is called “ranch with gas,” just kidding; this is not among Europe's crimes. 8. Time ranch, the ranch which is constantly moving through the temporal continuum 9. Double ranch - the ranch with twice the herbs, which also creates a doppelganger of the eater 10. Hidden Valet Ranch, the dressing for when you are a gentleman with a very discreet personal servant

Avatar

11. Zanch, the ranch that doesn’t have to go on pizza because each bottle contains an entire pizza, all blended up 12. Ranchardonnay - oaky, with notes of garlic powder, dill, and unearned confidence. 13. Cranch, the almost impossibly crunchy dressing 14. Cookie dough ranch, a sweet snacking ranch 15. Ranch Zero, the ranch that’s zero calories (it’s just water)

#ranchblogging#we're just $38 away from another one of these round-up posts!

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