i love fiction so much can we never be real again

wet slapping thang

can you please sheathe your sword at the fucking dinner table

my wound salt that I keep beside my bed

thinking about getting surgery to remove everything

can I just log in

i'm not actually mad i just like the comedic delivery of righteous but pointless anger

can you tell i missed out on smth fundamental in my formative years 😏

Roasted Vegetables So Good You’ll Forget...

how are we feeling today

punches you but my hand is coated in ibuprofen dust so it immediately cancels out and doesnt hurt

”we’ve been trying to reach you”

GET in line

didn't realize this post got any notes because you know what i'm also not checking? my activity feed.

smuggling a bladeless knife with no handle through airport security

trying to make friends online like hey. do you wanna torture this guy with me?

DAKOTA JOHNSON and PEDRO PASCAL Off the Cuff | Vogue

felt like the non-scots should know about this

hey so i know you said you love me but my Everyone Hates Me syndrome is acting up