I just want to let yall know before hand that in the future there might be some nsfw quotes, so in case you’re a minor or simply don’t want to see them just filter “hunger games nsfw”

Y/N: This is my ex-girlfriend, Johanna.

Johanna: I told you to stop calling me that!

Johanna: I’m their wife.

Katniss: You’re giving Johanna a key to your apartment?

Y/N: That’s right, I gave her the key to my heart and now I’m giving her the key to my ap-heart-ment.

Katniss:

Y/N: [smiles]

Johanna: [pulls back curtain while Annie is showering]

Johanna: Are we-stop screaming it’s me- are we out of tequila?

Johanna: Our can opener is broken.

Y/N: So it’s a can’t opener?

Johanna: I can’t believe I married you.

Haymitch: Hey, why aren’t koalas considered bears?

Beetee: Because they’re marsupials.

Haymitch, mockingly: “Because they’re marsupials”

Haymitch: No. It’s because they don’t have the right koalafications.

Johanna: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Gale: I’m aware of that.

Johanna: But then you and I had some time together.

Gale: Uh-huh.

Johanna: It did not get better.

Haymitch: [playing video games with Finnick] I am crushing it. I’ve never played so well. I’m burying you!

Finnick: You realize you’re the top half of the screen?

Haymitch: NOOO!

Peeta: [carrying all the groceries on both arms]

Katniss: [reaches out to help]

Peeta: [switches all groceries to one arm to hold Katniss’ hand]

Katniss: That’s not what I—

Katniss: Okay.

Y/N: Hey, did you fall from heaven?

Johanna: Yes, are you the angel taking me back?

Y/N: [instantly turns red]

Peeta: I thought marriage was about love and trust. But you have betrayed me.

Katniss: … I woke up early to train.

Peeta: You abandoned me!

Katniss: You don’t get enough sleep, and I didn’t want to wake you.

Peeta: But I did wake up! By myself! No wife! No kisses!

Peeta: OH NO, it’s too HOT!

Peeta: I’m dying from the heat! Too hot!

Katniss: You can’t do this every time I dress up.

Peeta: You’re pretty.

Peeta: Hey, can you hold this?

Katniss: This is your hand.

Peeta: Yeah.

Haymitch: There is still one thing I do not understand.

Katniss: Math?

Beetee: Science?

Johanna: Bathing?

Haymitch: [pulls up to the drive-thru]

Haymitch: I’ll have 3 cheeseburgers—

Peeta: Haymitch! Effie is in labor!

Haymitch: [looks at Effie in the backseat]

Haymitch: And a kids meal.

Effie: Alright, enough chit chat everybody. Get back to work.

Haymitch: You’re not our boss.

Effie: What did you say to me?

Haymitch: … Ma’am.